Sometimes we donot see what we see
 

Dear viewers and my respected mentors, Assalamu alaikum, hope you all are doing good. If you don't mind, can u please glance the outline of my essay, point of flaws, provide feedback and please grade me for it according to the criteria of CSS Exam. It will be a huge huge favour from your side, I'll be really really really thankful to you. JazakAllah khairrrr everyone.




1*) Introduction (100words)

1) What does the quotation "Sometimes we donot see what we see" mean?
2) Thesis Statement


2*) What are the aspects that prevent us from glancing the truth i.e in front of our eyes? (500 words)

1) Fear of facing the music
2) Lack of power to destroy the root of an issue
3) No prove found against the culprits
4) Lack of honesty amongst people
5) Relations prioritized over justice


3*) What are the problems that take place in Pakistan due to the ignorance of what we see? (500 words)

1) Fall in plantation due to shortage of water
2) Increase in child labour due to poverty
3) Rise in corruption because of unjust workers
4) Loss of lives i.e inversely related to inflation
5) Increase in crimes due to various reasons


4*) What are the reasons due to which Pakistan locals don't prefer seeing what they see? (500 words)

1) Lack of finance to work on the cause
2) Lack of skilled labour to work
3) Lack of honest and powerful government
4)Arising of external issues by working on causes
5) Lack of care and attention towards the truth


5*) What can be done as a way to make Pakistan and other countries see what they don't prefer seeing? (500 words)

1) Strict laws for the supporters of culprits
2) Monitoring of workers regarding their work and budgets
3) Use of media to create awareness
4) Ban on overusing some products
5) Providing education for free to help people learn

6*) Conclusion (100 words)

I feel like it is a big blunder when people pick a philosophical/literary topic and forcefully turn it into a political/current affairs one. Why not start by talking about the dual meaning of 'seeing' i.e. sight vs understanding? Why not talk about the sensory source of knowledge (Empiricism) and how it can often be flawed? Why not talk about appearance vs. reality, human biases, prejudices and selective attention which make us see only what we want to see and understand?

Furthermore, there is so much generalization in your outline regarding Pakistani society and people that it really makes me wonder how you plan to back your arguments with fact to support such claims.

[QUOTE=MuneezaRafiq;1121735]I feel like it is a big blunder when people pick a philosophical/literary topic and forcefully turn it into a political/current affairs one. Why not start by talking about the dual meaning of 'seeing' i.e. sight vs understanding? Why not talk about the sensory source of knowledge (Empiricism) and how it can often be flawed? Why not talk about appearance vs. reality, human biases, prejudices and selective attention which make us see only what we want to see and understand?

Furthermore, there is so much generalization in your outline regarding Pakistani society and people that it really makes me wonder how you plan to back your arguments with fact to support such claims.[/QUOTE]
Thank u soooo soooo very much my respected mentor, your feedback really means alot alot to me I'll surely work on these points that u identified million of thanks dear

[QUOTE=Laiba Muhammad Ali Shaikh;1121732]Dear viewers and my respected mentors, Assalamu alaikum, hope you all are doing good. If you don't mind, can u please glance the outline of my essay, point of flaws, provide feedback and please grade me for it according to the criteria of CSS Exam. It will be a huge huge favour from your side, I'll be really really really thankful to you. JazakAllah khairrrr everyone.




1*) Introduction (100words)

1) What does the quotation "Sometimes we donot see what we see" mean?
2) Thesis Statement


2*) What are the aspects that prevent us from glancing the truth i.e in front of our eyes? (500 words)

1) Fear of facing the music
2) Lack of power to destroy the root of an issue
3) No prove found against the culprits
4) Lack of honesty amongst people
5) Relations prioritized over justice


3*) What are the problems that take place in Pakistan due to the ignorance of what we see? (500 words)

1) Fall in plantation due to shortage of water
2) Increase in child labour due to poverty
3) Rise in corruption because of unjust workers
4) Loss of lives i.e inversely related to inflation
5) Increase in crimes due to various reasons


4*) What are the reasons due to which Pakistan locals don't prefer seeing what they see? (500 words)

1) Lack of finance to work on the cause
2) Lack of skilled labour to work
3) Lack of honest and powerful government
4)Arising of external issues by working on causes
5) Lack of care and attention towards the truth


5*) What can be done as a way to make Pakistan and other countries see what they don't prefer seeing? (500 words)

1) Strict laws for the supporters of culprits
2) Monitoring of workers regarding their work and budgets
3) Use of media to create awareness
4) Ban on overusing some products
5) Providing education for free to help people learn

6*) Conclusion (100 words)[/QUOTE]
I think the attempt is fairly good. Bravo.
it can be made more relevant and effective if the author sticks to proving how we do not see what we see, and later delineating the reasons for inability to see/understand clearly.

I would have gone about it in the following way:

[B]Introduction:[/B]
Human ability to comprehend reality is dependent upon his/her level of education, experiences in life, analytical skills, critical thinking ability, (other reasons that helps one to see/understand clearly). Since the reality is often not visible to men, a great deal of philosophical inquiry is needed to scratch beneath the surface in-order to get to it

[B]How sometimes we do not see what we see[/B]

- What is being shown to us might be an individual, corporation or a state's propaganda

- Humans grow up with pre-conceived notions and see reality through those lenses (religion, beliefs, etc.)

- Senses can be deceptive (Mirages)

- Not everyone can see the TRUTH without engaging in a philosophical inquiry (Plato's theory of Philosopher-King where he argues that considerable wit is needed to grasp the essence of state's affairs)

- Emotions may overwhelm our mind and we end up looking at facts in a distorted manner

- etc.

[B]It is important to develop the skill of looking at things more clearly[/B]

give importance


[B]How can one get to see the reality more clearly[/B]
some recommendations


conclusion