i request the presence of all eminent members and moderators to comment on my essay;it will benefit me and other novices too.my first essay didnot get economical attention of mods,and in this essay i tried hard on this topic ,hoping they will attracted by my essay and suggest me of something better.
INFLUENCE OF INDIAN CUTURE ON PAKISTAN


OUTLINES
What is Culture?
Is religion interlinked with Culture?
Pakistani culture
Does it reflect Islam
Indian Culture
Its influence on Pakistani Culture
Advantages and Disadvantages
Conclusion

Culture means to cultivate. However in literary circle it is the product of people to people interaction, behaviour, their movement with respect to their race, creed etc. Different societies have their different cultures; the most powerful society has most powerful culture and vice versa. The globalization era has also fostered the phenomenon.

Role of religion in culture has a great significance, but you cannot call culture such as Islamic or Hindu culture but, instead, you can call it as an Indian or western or Arabic culture. For example DIET is a common diet of Arabians to b feed on but in our society or culture, it is known to be a sacrificial food; hence w take it as a diet in the holy month of Ramadan only.

Religion also fixes the boundary in which the particular culture can flourish, so the different religions have their different cultures and sub-cultures. Even a single religion has its different sub-cultures state cannot get success without a powerful culture and a culture cannot flourish if a state has its base, feeble.

Pakistan is an important country in the word; it is linked geographically to India in the east, Afghanistan from west, china from north and Arabian Sea from south.
Its culture history goes back to Indus valley civilization era (2500 b.c), when the different nations came to this region, reigned and then left their culture. so its culture is a mixture of arayans,turks,Arabians,Mongols,mughlas,Sufis,hindu s culture.

Geographically it is divided into four provinces. It has Punjabi, sindi, balouchi and northern and Kashmiri culture. Each has its specific culture with a same socio-religious culture.

Our cultural dress is shalwar qameez both for men and women. However official dress on state days is sherwani and acchkun and shalwar qameez form men and women. Major religion is Islam but non Muslims have their significance in our society, too.Our official sports is field hockey, besides cricket, football is popular on streets in major parts of the country. Polo is the most favorite sports in our northern culture. The gap of popularity of sports also reflects the beauty of sub cultures in our country.

Since partition, folk music was very famous. Our famous singers are malkay-e-tarannum noor jehan and mehdi hassan.qawaali is also an important type of music which we listen .our late legend in this case was nusrat Fattah Ali khan. With the passage of time Indian and western got popularity in our culture with the impact of globalization, pop music and bangra type music become famous now.

State days are celebrated with zeal and zest. Ramadan is a month of fasting in which we see the increasing frequency of people rushing to mosques. after this month we are gifted eid ul fitar.at 10 zilhaj we celebrated eidul azha.muharram is also recognized as a sacrificial month in the name of Hussein (A.S) and his men.Nuoroz is also a great festival to b celebrated in Pakistan and especially in northern areas. This festival is also famous in central Asia, Iran and afganisatn.This day is celebrated in the month of March.

Pop music and bangra style dance is famous in Punjab and other areas which special dance with a knife in the hands is popular in the northern culture. If we talk about the electronic media, our radio channel is a descendent of all India radio channel. Our official channel is Pakistan television network. With the passage of time, in musharraf regime, private channels also got the place such as geo, aaj, ary digital etc with the allowance of cable network too.difernet social groups in Pakistan have their different customs by which they lead their life. for example if a specific crime ids happened on the tribal territory, the tribal leader called for the people to bring the perpetrator to b tried on ashes so to give the proof of his innocence.

As regard to Islam, it tells us how to live and make our customs and try our rituals. With respect to dress, it advised to cover our body in case of shalwar qameez which also reflect our beautiful culture. It tells not to have entertainment out of the boundary to prevent any social crises. Hence our stage plays with a laughing stock present widely before our people. Dramas at our official channel, since partition reflects the image of Islam and other social activities. Some evil minded think that religion is a hindrance to culture but religion is an important factor in the culture and the culture cannot flourish without a worldly religion and strong economy.

Indian culture has its long history since before Indus civilization valley era. Its culture came into exist through the different nations interaction with each other, these particular cultures mix in each other. Language wise, Hindus and English are the official languages. Major religion is Hindus which is visible clearly not only in their in their culture but almost in every field of their lives. Gender equality and same educational system gives a proof of their being secular. Their sacrificial books are ramyaaid, pranapnshad, Mahabharata etc.dewaali, holi and basant are their important days. Free gender interaction in their culture and popularity of music have made them dominated over their nuclear neighbourere.dancing have the same place as god has, in their culture. Their culture is further divided into sub-cultures like gujrati culture, kerala culture, up culture etc.press media and electronic media is all in all in their culture. So they are progressing day by day. India, geographically, three times bigger than Pakistan, has its expanding culture over its neighbored too. Its cultural giant has assimilated our culture in itself and now we have an Indian culture in our prevailing society and are growing rapidly.

For example, if we talk about dress, let’s take sari in this case, it is becoming more and more popular among our upeercass and middle class women .their movies and drams are seen with zeal and zest at our homes and now the women are more interested in watching evening drams than serving their men. Like wise our children get informed about their rituals like SAAT PHERAY and TIKKA in their marriages than our customs in marriages. They play among themselves saying NAMASTE instead of aslam.we are proud over using their language in our daily life, pretended to be modern. We inherited basant from them and also proud to take part in holi instead of celebrating our own independence day. The reason for this our own negligence and our government careless ness in constituting cultural policy.

They have use their media, the most powerful tool, to conquer our hearts and they have succeeded in this .instead of courting this effect, our media, too, started imitation of their media and began to show the Indian styled films and drams .their lust for money and becoming more and more popular are ruining our new generation.today,coming down to street ,every second shop tuning an Indian song can be easily heard. We have more acquainted with their culture than our own culture.

We belong to a passionate nation; we condemn idea, its brutal policies toward Muslims, but if one gets an opportunity to visit taj mehal with their tope actress, one readily agrees. This is the gap which is found in our selves.

Look at our entertainment stuff. They are showing vulgar plays with a cheap kind of language and actresses are in hobbit of nudity pretended to be poetry of bodyparts.theoratically we hate India but practically, we are a part of their culture.

Why is this so? If we look at our society, we found many loop holes in it. Our society is fall victim of classical groups or systems.(tabqati nizaam).for example look at the busy road at our cultural city Lahore-we can see a BMW car rushing and behind this an old man pulling his cart moving.

2ndly if we have a look over the marriage of a girl of a rural man and the marriage of a girl in PC, we soon come to know that our society has two different groups or cultures in it. So this we can say that a cultural gap. This is a main hindrance to our culture to flourish.

Why is this so? Are we enemy of our selves’ .what we should in this regard? Do our media get some responsibility of this? What should our government do? Do we ban on Indian channels. These all are questions, one should think do.

No need to be in hurry to blame others .First of all it is our collective responsibility to look into this matter. We must stop watching these Indian channels, their films. It will automatically be going down. Fold our lives addressed to our culture and religion- soon. One will wonder see a change around him our electronic media should take the theoretical steps instead of taking practical steps. It should stop watching Indian styled drams and no moral advertisements.instead.it should develop a mature thinking among people about wrongdoing. it should urged government to chalked out an assiduous cultural policy and assign a cultural minister .there should be a same educational sustem.language should be given due consideration. It should stop importing Indian ‘blunders’. Actor should be given due respect as it is a cultural diplomat of the country. Our actors should be encouraged to work in their own country.

‘We should not wait for the time when our child began to ask that why the dead body of his grand pa could not burn on woods and our bride disappointly asked that why she was not moved round seven times with groom in her marriage’.

I ll suggest that you should write it on a full scale paper and may be post the scan. in exam you will be doing the same
Well it is nice attempt.( Way better than mine though)Here and there few gramatical mistakes and there is much jargon I suggest avoiding it and try to make it interesting . Just see an article in a news paper on the topic. You will find out what i am saying I am pointing towards your beginning bro.
However i am no expert and may be this is the right way of doing but i would have done it differently

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Thanks to Allah almighty who Mould me Human

Dear Ali, its a very good attempt. A would suggest that you go through your own essay again and again to filter out mistakes, and make it more attractive. After doing this twice or perhaps thrice,you'l notice that your essay will become more appealing.
regards,

@ Ali Brother...

Though I am not a senior member but I would like to comment on ur essay because its not only the problem of good pr bad but is the problem of your future . Dear Make your Essay more coherent, hormonius and symmetrical as well. It will enhace the beauty of ur essay. furthermore read some essay regarding Pakistani and Indian culture it will make u known the difference between paksitani culture and Indian culture. Not only it will increase ur distinguishing power between the two, but as well as give you more vivid picture of the essence of this essay. Wish you Best of Luck

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Assistant Security Officer- BS-16
Ministry Of Defence, GHQ.

Hi Ali, you have made a good attempt, keep it up.

here I would like to add that the outline decides the course of action of an essay. your outline (atleast the first half) gives an impression that the main idea of your essay is discussion of of Pakistani culture and its relationship with religion. however it is not the case. I think it should contain an insight into culture, its compostion, then what makes Pakistani cluture unique, the an introduction of Indian culture and its distinctive features, then discussion of commonalities and differences between Paki and Indian culture. Then you may give your conclusion as to how in the light of above given points you can say that whether or not Indian culture has influenced Paki culture and to what extent and with what consequences: good or bad, and then what could be done in this regard, how and by whom.

This is the way I would attempt this essay, which is obviously an idea and isn't mandatory for all to follow.

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Long Live my Homeland

Thank you Arif,

I was waiting for such kind of comments, a great seniority act is to encourage but at the same time we need some critical comments which will make us capable of effacing the mistakes commonly made and then became a part of our routine lives.


Regards,

Central idea of the essay deviates from the topic. Major portion of the essay has been assigned to side material.

Topic sentence is not so strong and all inclusive.
Remember it is the topic sentence which leads you through out the essay. Try to incorporate maximum pillars of the essay in the topic sentence which you are going to elaborate in the rest of the portion. At the same time one needs to be careful about the length of topic sentence. It should be sort of preci depicting maximum directions in minimum words.


Due to shortage of time I can't go into details, further I vote to Arif Rao because what I want to write here is already pointed out by him.

I don’t know the rules of essay but this has been in my practice. Be focused on the topic keep a balance among the different schools of thoughts about that topic. Conclude with your own words based on the discussion which you have produced within the body.

@ Dear Aliraza: i have read your essay from first word to the last bit. with due respect, u should turn your essay downside up, better yet, place more relevant ideas in your introduction.
To begin with, You must be well informed that if the topic or any word of it is more in daily use, then, it is very difficult to intrepret it according to every person who has pleasure of reading any treatise on it. in our case, word culture,i think is very much in use..and the like words like civilization, society..that it only becomes requisite on the part of writer to put its readers in proper frame of mind. the definition of culture by you is ok for a layman, but it will not strike to an avid eye of examiner..who is always,remember my words, on lookout for any flaws in your essay to rob of your precious marks. it wud have been better if u wd come up dictionary definition of what is culture, perhaps definition from any good book of sociology wd be the best thing.
then, i read on your essay i found that you have used very confused language, because you have come up with many ideas and tied them up without regard to which ideas should be reinforced, which to be just mentioned for the sake of record.. for example mention only those parts,ideas,things of our culture which are very much important for our survival as a separate identity and then point out indian tactics to attack on those very points of our culture and in what way they are destroying it.
there are some contradiction in some of your sentences, as pointed out by our celebrated member Raz.
i hope this helps.
regards

__________________
There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio: What is sacred? Of what is spirit made? What is worth living for? What is worth dying for? The answer to each is only love."
Don Juan DeMarco(Johnny Depp), in Don Juan DeMarco

@frankenstine of css
thanks for your prompt reply.keep on advicing
can you plz mention some jargon-related statements so that i may avoid it the next again.
@arif rao
thanks to you for your reply .
you have mentioned of a great mistake,i neglected many times.but for outlines, looking more appealing and attractive and also "what the topic requires"-how i can get rid of this problem.
@frankenstine of css @arif rao @shah110 @mkkkhan @dr.g. asghar memon
thanks for considering me eligible to comment.
i had started writing on world war3-rembering your suggestions and advices,but now i have stopped writing thinking that it is childish to make outlines of the same kind i have produced in this essay and so is the material but the problem is how i can move towards something better.what should be my first step towards betterment.
regards for all of you

Dear, please don't give up practice, keep it up, it is the only way to get success. Moreover, start reading essays/newspaper articles on a variety of subjects in the following way:
1: Look at the subject /topic and make an outline of your own and then write according to it
2: Read the available essay very carefully
3: Then compare that with the one you have written, note the differences in the flow of essay, the details of subject matter given by the writer, the way he puts the punch line at the apt place
4: Then write it again as if you have to start from the scratch

I am hopeful that if you follow this practice for a number of essays you will observe a significant improvement in your essay writing skills. Besides, reading newspapers/ articles will help you in learning different writing styles/ logical flow of material and it will enhance your knowledge on a variety of subjects.

Though it's a tedious task but after reviewing your first essay I think it is very likely that if you practice in this way you will get your desired results.

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Long Live my Homeland