please seniors comment on this outline of essay i tried

[rishzzz]

Democratic government of Pakistan is facing internal and external challenges
1. What is democracy
a. Democracy in Pakistan
2. Dictatorial history lacking democracy
3. One man show
4. After effects of dismissing a lawful government
5. Parliament to be filled by leaders’ not typical politicians
6. Party setup is not democratic
7. Current government (analysis)
8. President with highest Culp reputation
9. Difference of authority between president and prime minster in a parliamentarian government
10. Rigidity of government
11. Slavery to America
12. Internal challenges
a. Terrorism
b. Suicide bombing
c. Threat of life
d. Talibanization
e. Wrong guidance of islam
f. Food deficits
g. Petroleum lubricants a dispute of rates
h. Power outages
i. Education absurdity
j. Crowded cities and unemployment
k. Pollution
l. Financial crisis
m. War and terror
13. External challenges
a. India as a thtreat (analysis after Mumbai attacks)
b. Foreign affairs
c. Friends of Pakistan
d. Afghanistan eating us like fungi
e. Kashmir issue
f. Our worldwide image
g. Religion of terrorism we belong
h. US’s drone attacks
i. Economic deficits and credit rating
j. Aid and IMF
k. Banking sector a big challenge
l. Educational liaisons
m. Agencies (like RAW)
14. Government’s minimal role
15. Evaluation

[zahi]

Dear Rishzzz,

I think u have made a good outline. But one need not to go into the political history of Pakistan.
You just have to discuss that AFTER LONG PERIOD OF 9 YRS DEMOCRACY HAS RETURNED IN THE COUNTRY.
Thereafter, u have to touch the topic n discuss THE INTERNAL AS WELL AS EXTERNAL CHALLENGES.
Moreover, u have discuss govts's performance in dealing with these challenges.
Lastly, you have to put forward SUGGESTIONS TO IMPROVE THE WORKING OF THE OGOING DEMOCRATIC GOVERNMENT.

Thax

[Chauhdary12]

AOA

@ rishzzz

Good work brother,
I think a complete and balanced outline,
one thing i want to share is; always left blank one/two pages for outline and draw a rough outline and start writing the body of essay, in writing you will find many alterations/adjustment/enhancements than change outline accordingly and after writing the complete essay, you will have a much better outline to write on that blank pages at the start.

[Cosmic_libertine]

Dear Bro,

Yr outline is immaculate with a few exceptions... the first thing i noted is that its immensely long with plenty of points which u will be unable to write down sequentially without much time and writing speed.. well its possible to overcome with practice, u got plenty o time to practise so u can overcome that... secondly, u have mentioned to go into the history of pakistan, i think the only thing u have to do is to give a brief synopsis of the history not ttht much detail..

secondly, try to avoid direct words like 'slavery to America' cos it might feel offensive for the marker of the paper who can be from any school of thought which can affect u otherwise. the best thing is to use nutral words such as 'defective foreign policy'..

the rest is adequate if properly executed and planned... but practice is the key to perfection.. u've got to write down this essay at least four times to make it perfect. make drafts and revise it over n over. thats how u improve...


Best of luck,


Regards,
Cosmic libertine...

[rishzzz]

thanx zahi,Chauhdary12,Cosmic_libertine


I m really feeling a lot of pleasure on having your kind evaluative comments. well this was my first attempt i m daily taking 5 to 10 topics and drawing their outlines..... special thanx for the drawbacks you guys pointed out i will work on these.
Well may i ask one more thing. Kindly tell me what is the required detail of a superb essay

[Saleeqa Batool]

i have drawn my outlines on the given topic.Please comment and suggest improvements.

1-Restoration of Democracy in Pakistan

2-Challenges to smooth functioning of democracy
A-Internal
-Political
1-Political Instability (Weak Political Institutions etc)
2-Lack of Interprovincial Harmony
3- Apparent Executive- Judiciary Tussle
4-Anti-Federration Politics
5-Dictatorial Amendments in Constitution
6-Political Norms
7-Power Politics
8-Strong Establishment
9-Un regulated mighty media

Social

1-Lack of Political awareness amongst the masses
2- Non-Democratic Culture
3-Illterracy
4-Extremisam
5-Terrorisam
6-Corruption
7-Absence of Strong Civil Society
8-10-Fedualisam

Economic

1-Poverty
2-Unemployment
3-Energy Crises
4-Inflation
5-Debt Burdon
6-Non Developmental expenses
7-Scracity of Resources
8-Malpractices
9-Uneven Distribution of Wealth
11-Influential Business Community involved in Financial Evils
12-Water Crises
13-Tax Evasion

B-External

1- Dependence over USA
4- Instability in Afghanistan and Taliban Issue
3- Relations with India
4- Interference of International /Lenders/Donors/Development Agencies (IMF/World Bank etc)
5- External Image and International Media
6- Competitive International Economy and WTO regime
7-Devalution of Rupee against International Currencies
8- Isolation of Pakistan in the International Community and ever growing International influence of India
9- Ineffective role of Organization such as SARC and OIC.
10-Sharp decline in FDI

Suggestions/Recommendations to overcome the challenges

1-Political Stability
2-Constitunal Reforms
3- Redress to the grievance of Small Provinces
4-Commitment to Political and Democratic norms
5-Reduction in Non Developmental Expenditures
6- Construction of Dams/Energy Projects( From Coal, Wind and Sunlight)
7- Increased allocation to Education Sector
8- Strengthen the role of statury Institutions
9- Poverty Alleviation
10-Self sufficiency
11- Accountability
12- Eradication of Corruption
13- Syllabus and Maddrisah Reforms
14- Exports Promotion
15- Ensuring the sovereignty of State
16-Establishment of Foreign Relations on the Basis of Equality
17- Improving the efficiency of foreign embassies/missions.
18-Improving the international image through aggressive media campaign


Conclusion

[SAJID A.BALOCH]

Very good attempt. You have given 60 points...mean 60 paragraphs...it is requiring to write that big number of paragraphs in 3 hours...not impossible but a tough job. See this!

Order of points was good and logically presented.

[aliiqbal]

@Saleeqa
Thats a really impressive attempt i would say ...
u have covered almost all the aspects and dimensions of the topic, but i agree with Sajid on the issue of the length of the essay ...
i dont think u will have enough time to write according to your outline, but thats completely dependent on your writing speed ...

But very precisely speaking ... u have done a tremendous job ... *clapping*

[bunko]

In Internal Challenges,

Wrong Guidance of Islam - Is wrong heading, Islam Can't be wrong.

Wrong Interpretation of Islamic Teachings - Is Right !

Regards,

[imranalisoomro]

Brother bunkoo u have rightly criticized the mistaken piece. but there is another i m pasting bellow:
( g. Religion of terrorism we belong )
it is very sad to see that a being a muslim mr. rishzzz has termed the religion of peace -Islam- as a religion of terrorism.
what do u comment about that? Did u read that?????????