Please criticize my writing!
 

I have been writing for some time now, but I have never got any input on the my material. Please please tell me what you think about my writing and how can I improve it?

(NOTE: THIS IS NOT A FULL ESSAY)

[B]Topic : Truth is a rare commodity despite the freedom by the print and electronic media[/B]

"Fours legs good; two legs bad" This was the mindless slogan of the sheeps in George Orwell's Animal Farm - A book about animals yet reminiscent of humans. The author's intent was to critize England's censorship and to critize Russia - The nation symbolizing pigs in the novel. Ironically, the preface of this novel, which had the author's note on censorship, was also censored. Truth, that the author wanted to impart to the unbeknownst common men, was removed. This, and a few incidents written below, tell us that we are missing out on truth - The rarest of comodity.

Information is power. It only takes two words to access an online bank account. But this is a trivial matter when compared with the hidden truth that protects and keeps the system running for the status quo.

Media has long lost its objectivity. If any treacherous article is published, the journalist is murdered. Countries censor books and media so as to not appear threatening to any nation - The censorship in Britain of the books and media writing against USSR is no secret. Today media is run like a business. And a business can only run, if it can sell. What sells, is conformity to the opinion of commonman. One is rather inclined to read the news from a newspaper which corresponds to his/her opinions. Opinions by nature are errant, biased and influenced by emotions. Why is it then that people prefer a particular newspaperpaper more, when they have no obligation to the publisher and have viable alternative newspapers? Television programs sell only when the host can fire up a heated conversation between politicians and bring up the hyperbole of commonman. How often do we hear about "Our corrupt government", or how deprave a particular politician is, or even a journalist making such claims, without any sound proof. All just to satiate our hunger for entertainment. It is my contention that most, if not all, cannot conjure substantial evidence to back their point. Yet mindlessly, they say "Our government is corrupt" - strikingly similar to Orwell's sheeps "Fours legs good; two legs bad"

Jullian Asange's effort, to reveal the truth is commendable - His brainchild Wikileaks, has published shocking videos, and horrifying truths about the dirty business of politics and war. In March 2010, Wikileaks published documents that jeopardized the integrity of politics around the world, particularly that of US and its army. The day the leaks started coming out, news channels, blogs, newspapers, news sites all were abuzz - except New york Times website. There wasn't a media outlet in the world without this news and here the paragon of media, NY times, didn't have this news anywhere on their website. An ardent reader of this site might have different opinion than you and me.

First of all i"m not an authority to correct you as i have myself a little know- how of this language
Anyway, my humble suggestions:
[B]"Fours legs good; two legs bad"[/B] you wrote this sentence twice with the same mistake....It is "four".
And as far as I understand , this sentence implies that Animals are good; humans are bad.....I did not get the point that you wanted to make.

"The rarest of [B]comodity[/B]." spelling is [I]commodity[/I] and here it should have been "The rarest of commodities"
[B]
"to critize Russia - The nation symbolizing pigs in the novel"[/B]
No capital after "-" so" - the nation"
and I'm sure it was a typo...anyway it is CRITICIZE

"What sells, is conformity to the opinion of [B]commonman[/B]"
"politicians and bring up the hyperbole of commonman"
There is no word such as commonman....common is an adjective and man is a noun, so use space between these words.

"or how deprave a particular politician is"
Deprave is a verb not an adjective . DEPRAVED is adj

I hope all these mistakes were just typos and you knew all that i wanted to share.

In my humble opinion ,Structure and paragraphing was good.

If I'm wrong , I'll appreciate correction.

*Bows* *Bows* *Bows*
 

Thank you sooo much! I really did need some detailed review on my writing. At least now I know where I stand.
I have spent absolutely zero time with grammar as of yet. You really seemed to have done your homework, can you please tell me a few things.

[B]The books you used?
The strategy to improve grammar?
The time I should dedicate to grammar?[/B]

I am asking strategy because I don't really know how one goes about imbibing grammar rules. I once tried Essential Grammar in Use by Murphy (Cambridge), and I didn't really see the point of book - the more I did the exercises, the more I forgot the preceding grammar rules. I mean, it is impossible to be consciously aware of grammar rules by undertaking the exercises in such books.

I need your own opinion in this matter (The posts on this forum regarding grammar improvement are vague or lost in the labyrinth ;) )