my piece of writing

[hira6]

Due to paucity of time i can only write that much. please read and comment.
Unemployment
Our human society is marred with a number of social evils. These social evils persistantly and adversly effect the lives of the common man. It is becuase of these social evils, The human life is hampered easy and smooth everyday living such social evils require an exhaustic approach to ensure their sufficient and timely rectification. Among some of the mosr important social evils. Prevailing in the human society, unemployment is one of them.Unemployment is a kind of a social evil which not only adversly effects the life of an individual, in particular, but it also adversly effects the health of the society in general.
Being a phenomenon, the social evil of unemployment has its roots and breeding grounds. When entranched in human society . Since this evil pertains to human society and human behaviour, its solution could not have an arithematic precision .
In order to further elucidate this concept, a thorow discussion is made to comprehend this phenomenon.

[hira6]

The term Governance means: " The process of decision making and the process by which decisions are implemented".Good governance has eight major characteristics. It is participatory, consensus, accoutable, transparent , respective, efficient equitable and inclusive and follows the rule.It assures that corruption is minimized, the views of minorities are taken into account and that the voices of the most vulnerable in society are heard in decision making. It is also responsive to the present and future needs of society.
"Bad Governance" is the one of the root causes of all the evils within our society.
BNad governance has the germs of fathering a number of crises. No state is free of all crises but it is the quality of governance that ensures its survival through any crises. crises flee at the hand of good governance and they are multiplied in bad governance. Crises management requires employment of all available resources, human , physical and technological in the best manner and it is only possible in good governance. States with good governance are capable of fighting any crises even with mearge resources.

[SYEDA SABAHAT]

Originally Posted by hira6

The term Governance means: " The process of decision making and the process by which decisions are implemented".Good governance has eight major characteristics. It is participatory, consensus, accoutable, transparent , respective, efficient equitable and inclusive and follows the rule.It assures that corruption is minimized, the views of minorities are taken into account and that the voices of the most vulnerable in society are heard in decision making. It is also responsive to the present and future needs of society.
"Bad Governance" is the one of the root causes of all the evils within our society.
BNad governance has the germs of fathering a number of crises. No state is free of all crises but it is the quality of governance that ensures its survival through any crises. crises flee at the hand of good governance and they are multiplied in bad governance. Crises management requires employment of all available resources, human , physical and technological in the best manner and it is only possible in good governance. States with good governance are capable of fighting any crises even with mearge resources.

hira what is it? first if you have posted short essay then this is not a relavent thread,its only for long essays, 2nd post it in relevant thread and then ask for sugessions.

regrads sabahat

[usmanamjad87]

I think you have written introduction for essays. Try to read essay introductions from some seniors o experts, read introduction writing techniques and then write.
Keep trying, you will get improvement IA.

[aariz]

Originally Posted by hira6

Due to paucity of time i can only write that much. please read and comment.
Unemployment
Our human society is marred with a number of social evils. These social evils persistantly and adversly effect the lives of the common man. It is becuase of these social evils, The human life is hampered easy and smooth everyday living such social evils require an exhaustic approach to ensure their sufficient and timely rectification. Among some of the mosr important social evils. Prevailing in the human society, unemployment is one of them.Unemployment is a kind of a social evil which not only adversly effects the life of an individual, in particular, but it also adversly effects the health of the society in general.
Being a phenomenon, the social evil of unemployment has its roots and breeding grounds. When entranched in human society . Since this evil pertains to human society and human behaviour, its solution could not have an arithematic precision .
In order to further elucidate this concept, a thorow discussion is made to comprehend this phenomenon.

Unemployment
Our human society is marred with a number of social evils. These social evils persistantly and adversly effect (affect) the lives of the common man. It is becuase of these social evils(these social evils..... u have not mentioned here any eveils. so, dont write THESE SOCIAL EVILS.. satiyanas kardia intro ka. :P), The human life is hampered easy and smooth everyday living such social evils require an exhaustic approach to ensure their sufficient and timely rectification.(ambiguous line.) Among some of the mosr important social evils. Prevailing in the human society, unemployment is one of them.(sentence structure is incorrect here)Unemployment is a kind of a social evil which not only adversly effects (affects) the life of an individual, in particular, but it also adversly effects ((affects))the health of the society in general.
Being a phenomenon, the social evil of unemployment has its roots and breeding grounds. When entranched in human society .(incorrect sentence structure) Since this evil pertains to human society and human behaviour, its solution could not have an arithematic precision .
In order to further elucidate this concept, a thorow discussion is made to comprehend this phenomenon

Originally Posted by SYEDA SABAHAT

hira what is it? first if you have posted short essay then this is not a relavent thread,its only for long essays, 2nd post it in relevant thread and then ask for sugessions.

regrads sabahat

agreed

[Roshan wadhwani]

Hira your second attempt "Bad Governance" is much better than the first one, there are less grammatical mistakes in it and structure is also gud..But still many sentences are ambiguous in their meaning and there is the deficiency of connectivity....i wud suggest u first go thru some threads in essay section in which methods of essay writing are given...then try to write essay on that format......first choose some topic like unemployment u did, then search some material and recent development on net, then make outline the sequence should be first write introduction, then current scenario in the world, then situation in pakistan, causes, its impacts, remedies to overcome it, conclusion..first write rough then check ur essay by urself and point out ur mistakes and then fair it, try to write short sentences and maintain connectivity bz connectivity is the soul of any essay......hope this will help u....God Bless You.....Keep It UP

[Tauseef Taj Kiani]

Originally Posted by Roshan wadhwani

Hira your second attempt "Bad Governance" is much better than the first one, there are less grammatical mistakes in it and structure is also gud..But still many sentences are ambiguous in their meaning and there is the deficiency of connectivity....i wud suggest u first go thru some threads in essay section in which methods of essay writing are given...then try to write essay on that format......first choose some topic like unemployment u did, then search some material and recent development on net, then make outline the sequence should be first write introduction, then current scenario in the world, then situation in pakistan, causes, its impacts, remedies to overcome it, conclusion..first write rough then check ur essay by urself and point out ur mistakes and then fair it, try to write short sentences and maintain connectivity bz connectivity is the soul of any essay......hope this will help u....God Bless You.....Keep It UP

Good, Keep it up, just keep on writing and you'll improve eventually.