Which introduction is better? - Page 2

Belal Jonaid · #11 Friday, June 29, 2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bilal Hassan

well this intro sounds good at first glance but has many flaws and when it comes to correct English usage which is the panacea of success in CSS, it is apocalyptically written and things may go awry for the writer...

Which flaws do you see in the writer's English -- can you mention any specific examples please? Also, I'd like to know what exactly you meant by "apocalyptically written" since I didn't quite get that part.

Thanks in advance.

Bilal Hassan · #12 Saturday, June 30, 2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by Belal Jonaid

Which flaws do you see in the writer's English -- can you mention any specific examples please? Also, I'd like to know what exactly you meant by "apocalyptically written" since I didn't quite get that part.

Thanks in advance.

mutual rivalry with india is not a word to be used as those who are rivals, they are rivals to each other ofcourse so we won't use mutual here, mere rivals would suffice...
second last line which says all crucial to defining the...we won't use the gerund form here as preposition to is always followed by a simple first form of verb...
apocalyptically written means that in written expression we need to bring brevity the paragraph must be written with proper context, to the point and connected with the context in the sentence or clause that precedes...ok dear...

Belal Jonaid · #13 Saturday, June 30, 2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bilal Hassan

mutual rivalry with india is not a word to be used as those who are rivals, they are rivals to each other ofcourse so we won't use mutual here, mere rivals would suffice...
second last line which says all crucial to defining the...we won't use the gerund form here as preposition to is always followed by a simple first form of verb...
apocalyptically written means that in written expression we need to bring brevity the paragraph must be written with proper context, to the point and connected with the context in the sentence or clause that precedes...ok dear...

I see. Thank you for the help. This is the kind of constructive criticism I was looking for.

Bilal Hassan · #14 Saturday, June 30, 2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by Belal Jonaid

I see. Thank you for the help. This is the kind of constructive criticism I was looking for.

ok dear, i laud you for your accepting the mistakes with arms wide open,truly speaking this was intended as a critical appreciation of your intro...i wish you all the luck in your endeavors and wish that you are successful to integrate the panache in your writing that can awe us all...
Regards...