Essay, which many aspirants of css considers as a dilemma is really a hard nut to crack. Even appeared twice before the said exam , i am still finding it hard to write a perfect essay. I request all of the enlighted and talented forum members to please comment and criticize the intros my essays where mandatory. Your comments will be of great worth to me.

Education- a neglected field
Education is considered as the backbone for the development and prosperity of any nation. The progress which the world has made in this pivotal sector is miraculous. No doubt, the importance of education has been recognized across the globe and efforts are on the way to accomplish the desired goals. While the progress in this sector is underway, Pakistan still lags behind. It is a pity that this fundamental source of development, prosperity and social change has been ignored since the independence of our nation. Strictly speaking, our education system is beset with multidimensional problems such as low budgetary allocation, mismanagement of funds, ill-trained teachers, insufficient infrastructure and above all the lack of proper strategy. It is a hard fact that in spite of knowing these prickly issues, the government has always been too lazy to seek remedial measures. It is the right time; however, that government make sincere efforts to ameliorate the standard of education to help set Pakistan on the track of development.

@ N is best
Salam dear
Of course essay writing i a tough criteria. And also considered as a most tough paper in competitive exams.
Here you write introduction but here I suggest you that if you want to write essay on education and also of 4500-5000 words. You should start with the meaning of education and different definitions of education and than start mean idea.

__________________
Coming together is beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.

dear yousaf, i have heard from a number of essay teachers 'not to wander here and there and come directly to the point'. Even some are of the view to avoid intros, history and unnecessary islamic discussion.

Yes in many essay and at Bacholar Standard we directly come to point and if we start direct method than how we cover 4500-5000 words. In my point of view here one essay in Competitive exams and we discuss it with brief background presentation and future and also its ages of progress merits as well as its demerits and also critical poins and than a strong conclusion .

__________________
Coming together is beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.

dear yousaf, it is not that i am urging with you. but the fact herein is that the quantity of words doesn't matter, its the quality that matters. Even 1000-1200 words can fetch good marks provided written in good manner.

it is a good attempt. expression is good. but to me one should avoid giving one's own point of view. try to give a general view.....

__________________
Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

dear saba, can you please differentiate between one's own view and generalized view..... I think essay is the name of presenting one's own view ...

This topic is very simply it is just causes and impacts essay ... it would have been better had you mentioned the causes (which you did) followed by the impacts when education is neglected. here you faltered

Your start could have been any example like European American recognition of the importance OF EDUCATION and their investment in the sector, hence their rise. Any other example.. from Islamic History , Roman , Greek or even Modern day Malaysia, China etc would have served the purpose... followed by Pakistan,s lack of interest in the education sector thus poverty , no progress problems etc.


do not specifically state importance just quote an example or some facts , this will be enough to show that you mean business .. Above Bold lines are unnecessary, replace them with facts or examples.

Rest of the intro is good but you missed the impacts in the end ....

you can pass essay just try to understand the basics

__________________
Prejudice is an opinion without judgment. Voltaire my hero

Your introduction of the topic is good but you started to quickly the topic without the introducing the topic at full length like before the independence after the independence and different stages and developments in education sector in Pakistan. Also the systems of acquiring of education in Pakistan as like Public sector or private sector, levels of education from primary to university level, different facts with respect to data like percentage of children in schools,in colleges,in universities and those who are not going to school etc. So these things should be well explained to give a good and thorough introduction to the reader and also build his interest in the essay.
Essay mainly based on problem statement so it should be better to make a comprehensive outline like we do in research of MS,PhD level research as like we select the dependent and independent variable, the cause and affects,different stages,recommendations,conclusion. So better make a comprehensive outline first and then go one by one on that.

__________________
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

In order to justify our point in essay, can we quote or write something like this ...
For instance, Women empowerment in Pakistan.


Women empowerment has become a burning issue in the recent years. Why most of the people are against the term 'empowerment'? As a matter of fact, they are confusing empowerment with vulgarity. Once this misconception or misinterpretation is erased, the objections on women empowerment would be solved to a great extent, if not fully.

The word empowerment means to empower someone. When we talk about women empowerment it means that women are empowered/given powers in every aspect of life i.e., education, health, employment, politics etc. However, there should be some limitations. It should be kept in mind that these are not men made limitations but those enforced by the society.

On the contrary, vulgarity is a totally different thing. vulgarity means crossing all the limits which have been prescribed by the society i.e., extra marital sexual intercourse, night parties, disco clubs etc.

Hence, the difference should be felt. The term empowerment should be taken in broader sense.......