Originally Posted by Anum Zara

You have written on general topic which has broad scope. Choose topics from past papers of last 10 years and try to attempt them. In CSS, now specific topics are being given in essay paper. Identify key points in the statements and write your outlines accordingly. It is not a recommended practice to write on general topics.

About your outline, I do not mean to discourage but it is indeed a very poor attempt. You need a lot of practice. You English seems fine to me and you do have knowledge about the topic. You just need to learn techniques.

You have taken education and literacy synonymously and that is why many of the points in your essay are irrelevant. Outline is poorly constructed and points are not self explanatory. For example: terrorist attacks. It is irrelevant but if you want to include it at least it should be phrased in a way which can explain that how it is a problem for education in Pakistan. There are a number of flaws in this outline. I cannot possibly point out all. One thing I surely want to say is that this is a very large outline of total 30 points. In essay, you will have to write 1 paragraph on each point. Try to write shorter outlines which you can handle in examination. Include only relevant points. You have written many problems. You can choose 5-7 major problems. Discuss them. Then explain their major effects/impacts. After that give recommendation according to the problems stated. Outline must be well constructed. It should be relevant and coherent. There are 6 kinds of essays and on general topic any format can be adopted. It is better to practice past papers.

One more thing which I noticed in your essay in unnecessary criticism. You have given a big statement by calling "Ulema hypocrite and illiterate". Giving this kind of statements in CSS is like committing SUICIDE in examination. Avoid unnecessary criticism. Avoid discussion on political leaders, parties, religions, sects etc.

Originally Posted by aabii butter

thankuu soooooo much for your reply and for pointing outt such big and idiotic mistakes . i know there are mistakes and by time i know i ll be good ..just need ur sincere reviews like that and IA i ll be on the other side soon thankshhh once again