Posting the outline of my essay which passed in CE 2017

Thesis Statement: Nationalism is not inclusive and a more inclusive nationalism has not yet been formulated

What is Nationalism

Nationalism according to Pakistani intellectual Eqbal Ahmad

Nationalism as an ideology of separation

Examples of the tragedies created by nationalism (focusing on crimes against minorities)

The Armenian Genocide

The Jewish holocaust

The 2002 Gujarat Riots in India. Referenced Rana Ayyub's book Gujarat files

In Brief: Nehru's inclusive nationalism?

Summary and conclusion.

Throughout the essay I focused on addressing the question asked in the essay: Can nationalism really be inclusive?

I explained the mechanism of how nationalism targets minorities in the first part of the essay, then in each example i showed the mechanism in action.


Length:1700-1900 words

Your score?

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WA-TU-IZZU MANTASHA; WATU-ZILLU MANTASHA

Passed candidates dmc's are only released after the final result, so i do not know yet

Oh.
Goodluck for final result and allocation. There is no medal with your name so I thought that you were one of those unlucky ones who passed essay but failed in another subject. I am one of them. Are you appearing again or skipping this attempt?

__________________
WA-TU-IZZU MANTASHA; WATU-ZILLU MANTASHA

1) Introduction
2) Delineating the concept of minority
3) Why are minority groups deemed ill-fated?
-Assimilation in the dominant culture
-lots of cultural aspects
-struggle for rights
-Correlation between minority groups, secessionist movements and insurgencies

4) Delineating the concept of nationalism
5) The case where nationalism can be really inclusive
- nationalism delinked with ethnic and linguistic criterion
- Supremacy of the law
-Nationalism is an ideological construct
-Example U.S.A

6) The case where nationalism is strictly an exclusive affair
- Nationalism evinces a distinct ethnicity only
- Absence of rule of law (non-state entities are real power brokers)
-Vicious rivalries exist.
-Oppressive regimes
-Example India

7) VERDICT: nationalism can be inclusive if based on lofty ideals

8) Recommendations for the global community to rectify the oppression faced by minorities
- strengthening democratic norms
-Clearing disambiguties between genocide and ethnic cleansing
-National integration

9) Conclusion

Feedback?

Thank you so much, i have been very fortunate. Keep on trying you will get there InshAllah. I have skipped this attempt as the interview process has been very time and energy consuming.

1.) Well, I see you don't have a thesis statement. It is important to include one, and should be short, simple, and contain the essence of the overall argument you make in the essay. You have given a verdict, this is basically your thesis statement, but it should be given in the beginning as well. In your very first paragraph in fact.

2.) Your last point about recommendations is not really required. The essay wants us to prove one way or the other whether nationalism has been inclusive. It does not ask us how to build a "better" nationalism.

3.) Other than that I would say your essay is broadly on the right track.


An aspect of essay writing that is perhaps ignored in favor of the more technical side of writing is content. Having content is essential to being able to write a relevant essay. The best way to do that is read. The works of intellectuals such as Noam Chomsky, Eqbal Ahmad, Arundhati Roy, Howard Zinn, and Edward Said would be a good starting point. You can find lots of their articles/speeches online.

Finally, please take my advice with a grain of salt. I could have just as easily written an essay that was not to the examiners liking. A certain degree of luck does come in to play. Hope this helps

In Sha Allah

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WA-TU-IZZU MANTASHA; WATU-ZILLU MANTASHA

can you define the actual theme behind this topic ? I am sorry I am unable to comprehend the idea behind " can nationalism really be inclusive?"

P.s Congratulations for qualifying and Best of luck for future.

Nationalism basically means the desire among a group to seek a separate nation state for themselves. An example close to home would be the muslim nationalism that led to the creation of Pakistan. The essay wants us to argue whether or not this process can be inclusive.

And, thank you so much, please do say a prayer for me

Best of luck