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Old Saturday, February 12, 2011
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Default Please someone check my essay

some one in these blogs uploaded an outline of an essay he wrote in his essay paper. following that outline i have written this essay on societal attitude towards women in Pakistan. this is my very first attempt of essay writing can anyone read it and tell me how much marks i may earn on writing an essay of this type in paper. i want anyone to give me marks from examiners point of view. it will help me judge where am i now...




Essay: Sciety's attitude towards women


Wedding ceremony in upper class is an occasion of great pomp and show. Where every lady is gracefully dressed in designer clothes and every single man tries to portray that is the most sophisticated person in the gathering. Amid on such occasion I was astonished to see a man bullying her wife for giving the bride “salami” alone. The women despite being insulted in front of hundred of people was apologizing for committing a mistake that wasn’t a mistake at all. Seeing the situation certain questions come to mind. What is the status of women is this 21st century? What good have done education and modernization to give women their rightful place? Does Islam legitimate men to insult their wives in front of others? How can one change societal attitude towards women?

Women like men are equal entity of society but unlike men they are not given the social importance and liberty they deserve. They are persecuted at hands of their family members and at different levels of society, given no share in inheritance, no opinion in decision making, denied education and are kept in isolation from interacting with the society especially men. Instances of such treatment are even more common in third world countries. Where women’s status vis-à-vis man is of gender subordination? The analysis of United nation population fund (UNPFA) asserts 80% of the women in these countries are the victim of domestic violence. This analysis also claim that of the 80% of the people trafficked across international borders annually are women and girl. This attitude is mainly because of the prevalence of certain social evils like feudalism, poverty, illiteracy and anti-women social attitude towards women. The impact of these things is materialized in the form of tarnished international image of such countries with unprecedented level of economic disparity and underdevelopment. Prompt reforms are need to reduce such social and moral dilemmas of women. So that women, like men, can enjoy and improved and better social life.
Nowadays, it is eloquently asserted the status of women in Pakistan has undergone certain positive changes. They now espoused with a much progressive and complacent social status. Government robustly mention the growing number of women pilots, doctors, civil servants etc. however, the reality is that women is still a victim of societal negligence and apathy. Consistent news of honor killing, electrocution, forced marriages; infanticides show that societal violence against women is at its peak at the moment. In fact, Pakistani women has been a victim of sexual violence, trafficking, dowry abuse, acid throwing, forced marriages, mal-nutrition, excessive child bearing, forced pregnancies and eves teasing since independence.

Domestic violence such as beating, bullying, physical and psychological torture, mal nutrition, molestation, dowry abuses are quite common in Pakistani culture. In fact, we have become so used to incidence of women beating and psychological torture that we usually treat them as a routine and matters of no importance. According to a report about 1.091 women suffered from physical and psychological torture last year. Bride burning on dowry issues is a common practice in both urban and rural areas of Pakistan. The in-laws of the hapless bride plot her murder by tempering with the kitchen stoves or burning her with kerosene or gasoline. Mostly, the incidence is scene as an accident. In 1999 about 1600 cases of dowry abuse were reported of which only 2 were convicted. Besides, women trafficking in the international are also gaining pace in Pakistan. Every year more that 25000 women from Pakistan are trafficked in the international market. This brings and annual profit of 12 million dollars to the traffickers.

Social and cultural violence against women has many aspects two of which are: firstly, Forced and inter- caste marriages illustrate cultural and societal atrocities against women. Pakistani culture and society denies a women the right to select a spouse of here own choice. Inter-caste marriage is a common practice, only 37% of the women are not related to their spouse before marriage. Similarly, social norms prohibit women to demand divorce. Women who demand divorce are considered as bad stain of society and mostly, they are killed by the family for tarnishing its image. The cases of Gazala Shaeen and Saima Sarwar are mostly prominent in yesteryear. Both of the ladies were charged with the crime of dishonoring their family. The former was murdered by the family on selecting a spouse of her own choice and later on demanding divorce from an abusive husband. Secondly, The heinous instances of acid throwing on women to force them to cover their face are also nascent with the advent of islamization. This heinous act is being highly practiced in the Islamic fundamentalist parts of Pakistan: FATA region. Acid is thrown on the faces of the women who refuse to cover their faces. The philosophy behind this heinous act is to force women to hide their faces because on getting ugly they will definitely cover their faces. The attackers believe that they are protecting the society from committing sins by forcing the women to perform parda. These people feel cherished for enforcing Islamic laws but the truth is that Islam never permits any human to harm or mutilate the body of other human.

The health indicators of women in Pakistan are one of the worst in the world. Intra-house biases lead to nutritional deficiency in female children. Today, more than 40 % of total female population in Pakistan is anemic. Early age marriage, excessive child bearing, forced pregnancies, use of contraceptive, lack of accessibility to the trained LHVs during pregnancies and child berth are the major cause of deteriorating women health in Pakistan.
In Pakistan, the major causes of women adversity are Feudalism, tribal culture, absence of an appropriate domestic law, poverty, illiteracy, parallel judicial system, less focus on female education, weak law and order situation, non-adherence to Islamic laws, patriarchal society, economic dependence of women on their family members, prevalence of laws and rules that are against women.
Domestic violence prevails in our society because we lack an appropriate domestic law. Current domestic law does prohibits domestic violence. In fact, most of the cases of domestic violence are encompassed by Qisas and Diyat ordinance. The police and judiciary does not threat such cases as crime and judicial respectively. Judiciary treats the cases of domestic violence a trivial matters to be handled by civil courts rather than criminal courts. Police, on the other hand, never take these such complaints serious and avoid registering FIR of such issues. Admittedly, public offices themselves are involve in violence against women. The commission of inquiry reported that about 70% of women in police custody are subjected to physical and sexual violence.
The Feudal prototype in Pakistan is that of Landlords (jagirdars, zamindars, nawabs, nawabzadas, khans and sardars). These are large families possessing more than thousand acres of land. They are not directly involved in farming and agricultural activities rather rule a wide majority of peasants and tenets, living at sustenance level. These peasants and tenets perform all the agricultural activities for their landlord, who in turn given them food for their sustenance. The landlords operate as their masters and have full authority over their lives. The ladies of peasant family are an openly molested by the landlords. The peasants, owing debts to the landlords, are forced to present their wives, sisters, and daughters before the landlords to satisfy their sexual needs. Besides, the women of landlords are denied basis living rights and are forced to live under stringent family norms. These ladies are usually denied the right to marry, in order to avoid redistribution of land and property. Mostly, these are married to Quran and forced to spend their entire live in the services of Quran. This absurdity is conducted to deny women their share in inheritance. If any girls decides to go against the family norms and select a spouse of here own choice she is killed, declaiming karokari.
Patriarchy is the system in which rule of male as primary authority figure is central to social organization. It implies the institution of male domination over women. Pakistani society is no doubt an unjust patriarchal society. It bars women mobility and makes her dependent on men for all her needs, denies here the right to select her spouse. We nourish watta-satta marriage, marriage to aged men as a product of patriarchal system. The families of the girls undergoing love marriage either kill them or end all relations with her. The consequences of forced marriages are depression, low self esteem and life of misery on the part of women. This is the product of this society that women becomes completely dependent upon men for her economic needs. it denies women the right to work along side men in offices. She is destined the traditional role of taking care of home and children. It refrains women any share in decision making concerning her a being of less mental capability, unable to reach just and legitimize decisions.
Poverty is one of the addressable concern for Pakistan-whose one-quarters of the population is poor. As of 2008, about 17.2% of the people in Pakistan are living below the poverty line. Gender discrimination practices also constitute poverty. The traditional gender roles of women are to take care of home and that of men is of breadwinner. The women is refrained from working in offices and earning money. This brings all the responsibility upon male members of the home to earn money and hence limit the growth of society and family by reducing the earning hands. Since there are only two hands earning, the monthly income of the family is usually low. This always results in increased burden upon women who have to manage household consumption and production under conditions of increasing scarcity. Poverty prohibits women’s access to a sustained livelihood, education and healthy environment.
The tribal culture is another panacea. It is a system where people live in the form of community and their disputes are solved by tribal jirgas or panchayat. It is prevalent in the rural areas of Pakistan especially in the FATA region and rural sindh. In this system the tribal elders assemble to address and solve different issues. This system is similar to the Athenian style of democratic characteristics of ancient Greece. All of the complaints are presented before the tribal elders in the “Jirga or panchayat” who, listening to the appeals of the complainants and the accused, decided the issue with mutual consent. This system is considered to be most effective and reliable to setting disputes in Pakistan. Unfortunately, tribal jirgas has been transformed in unjust and immoral institutions. Lately, these assemblies have been denouncing certain heinous and anti-women decisions like gange rape of the accused daughter and sister, karo kari, forcing accused to offer small girls in marriage to the complainant parties etc. usually, women being gang raped, on the orders of jirgas, commit suicide to avoid the shame of facing the society. However, there have been braver women like Mukhtaran Mayee, who raised voice against the injustice done to them. The most recent example of the electrocution of a girl on the orders of a panchayat explains the autonomy and eloquence with which these institutions are performing in Pakistani society. Enforcement of an effective legal system is needed to end these heinous atrocities of tribal culture.
Literacy for sure is a life line of any developed country, and there is, thus, no denial to that fact that it alone is pivotal to human progress, most important key to development and vital for poverty alleviation. Despite various efforts to enhance literacy rate, Pakistan’s literacy rate lies between 56-57 percent only. Of this the literacy rate of women is stagnant on 44 percent, plummeting as low as 35 percent in rural areas. Women being the bearer of a generation should be educated. An educated mother is responsible for the better social and economic development of a child. Unfortunately, in Pakistan the focus on women education is much less than that of men education. Although the ratios of girls enrolled in primary school have increased to 50 percent, mostly girls are denied access to higher education. Society, limits girls to household activities assuming that girls have to assume the role of a wife and mother. Therefore she must be trained in house hold management rather than struggling to attain a degree or job. These tradition masculine feminine standards of behavior, division of labor and family responsibilities are the major obstacles towards bringing female literacy rate equal to men. Secondly, low economic power also contributes to a decrease in women education. In rural areas, where people only earn to sustenance level, they send only their sons to school and that also with great difficulty; girls are usually kept without schooling. This shows that government has been unable to provide adequate opportunities for the education of girls. This has hampered the over all process of national development, as women, an important pillar of society, are denied contribution in the economic growth of the country. Society even nurtures a discrepancy in the ratio of women education in different areas. That is to say, the ratio of women education varies, depending upon the resource and opportunities available to people. The lowest female literacy rate in Pakistan is 2.95 percent in thar district of Balochistan, while the highest female literacy rate is 73.92 percent in Karachi; a metropolitan city.
Overall, the current turmoil state of women is associated to the social alienation from the Islamic values and traditions. Men humiliate and mistreat women in the name of Islam. Islam never teaches or authorizes men to treat women like this. It does not allow women to be forced into polygamous marriages, marriage with quran, to be killed on selecting a desired spouse. These are all cultural norms enforced in the name of Islam. Quran says that both “male and female are created of single soul” and are moral equal in the sight of Allah. Quran clearly warns men to treat their women humanly as they are obligated upon them by Allah.
The impact of such ignorant social attitude towards women is devastating both for the economic growth and image of our country. With the nascent of media, the incidences of violence against media are rapidly broadcasted. In fact, some of the news channels exaggerate the news to attract more audience. Although, in doing so they earn more fame for their channel, they are tarnishing country’s image in the international community. Such exaggerated news creates furor among the enemies by giving them a chance to call Pakistan an extremist and bigoted state. It also tarnishes the image of Islam and creates apprehensions towards the teachings of Islam in the non-Muslims. It stamps Islam as a conservative religion that prohibits liberty of mankind especially women. Moreover, oppressing women’s mobility adversely affects economic growth of the country. The low socioeconomic status of women is considered as a significant blow upon the national development. The concept of Islamization in Pakistani society reinforces anti women working attitude, brining down all the programs and projects to mobilize women. If this social attitude continues to exist in society, we will never be able to drag ourselves out of current situation of under development and economic disparity. Thirdly, women adversity will giver rise to certain psychological disorders. Current every 9 out of 10 cases report of women psychological disorder is of conversion disorder. a disorder common in women who are unable to cope with their social setup.
Effective legislation is required to prevent violence against women and to give them a social status equal to men. Government can adopt in this following polices and plans to improve the deplorable plight of women:
Firstly, police must be trained to realize their duty to probe in to cases of domestic violence. Most of the culprits may be able to escape but the trial of a few for dowry killing, rape and acid throwing etc, or even the publicity of the hunt of such criminals, should deter at least some criminal minded people
Secondly, honor killing and interference with women right to choose her spouse are social evils that can be eradicated by laws alone, however efficiently they may be drafted or enforced. Creation of an adequate women protection law and their full implementation are necessary to protect women against abuse of their rights.
Thirdly, a well planned movement to bridge gender gaps in educational institution and removal of obstacles to women mobility, share in inheritance, work , equal wage for equal work, ownership of assets and due share in decision making, needs to be efficiently implemented. The need for such a plan has strengthened with an increase in extremist attacks on women rights especially girls right to attend schools.
Forthly, Government and NGOs should initiate female literacy project in Balochistan, Khyber Pakhtoonkhwa, and rural sindh, where literary rate is comparatively low. Money spent in education of mothers, is more effective as compare to that spent in the education of fathers. This will not only bring development of women but will also increase economic participation and educational achievement of their children; as women are responsible to raise a generation.
Fifthly, Provincial governments must finalize their plans, to achieve their target of universal primary education, obligated to them by the Article 25-A of the constitution. . it should intensify efforts to bridge the gap between the enrollment of girls and boys.
Lastly, special task force should be assigned to realize Millennium Development Goals III- achieving gender parity and women empowerment.
By adopting above mention reforms we can reduce persecution of women and can give them a social status, which is equivalent to that of men. For this efforts should be concentrated and results oriented and should be at all levels, which is not an impossible thing. Improved social status of women will bring good name to our country along with economic prosperity and development. It will create an environment, where women will feel themselves protected, respected and well treated.
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  #2  
Old Saturday, February 12, 2011
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You have written a nice essay. However, there are some points you need to think over:

1. As you have said that your essay has been developed on some one else outline, so can't say much about that. It is because topic of essay is about society's attitude towards women, while your essay is concerned mainly with Pakistani society attitude towards women. So there is a difference between the two.

2. The first paragraph does not seem good as it resembles more to newspaper's column than an essay.

3. You have only pointed negative points, but there are positive points also. For example, the respect a mother enjoys in Pakistan is rare to be find in more economically developed countries.

4. There are some grammatical mistakes as well, for example you said tribal culture is another panacea, but at the same time you are arguing that it is working against women.
(Panacea means kisi maslay ya bemari ka hal ya ilaj.)

5. For the matter of record, please note that acid throwing is not common in tribal areas i.e. FATA. There may be few rare incidents (although beating of women is much common), but this problem is more severe in punjab and usually cause is not religious one.

These are certain points that you can consider. But overall, I liked your essay. You have a lot of potential. The only advice is to keep practicing.

Keep it up.
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Old Saturday, February 12, 2011
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@newstudent thanks for your suggestions... there is only one request can you give me marks for my essay from an examiner point of you
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Old Saturday, February 12, 2011
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This is hard. If I consider this essay only as "Society's attitude towards women" then I am afraid you won't get much better numbers as you have confined yourself to the Pakistani society. But, if I consider this essay to be in Pakistan's perspective then I would give you marks around 45-55 out of 100.

lakin mere numbers koi itne authentic bi nahi, I am not english professor . Ask someone else too.
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your essay is more critical rather than argumentive.in the beginning u shud write some quotes and hadith on the dignity of woman. you can also mention woman protection bill in the essay. i u observe there is positive side as well.
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Old Saturday, February 12, 2011
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@ mazhar. ya i did realize that i have been quite critical...i will try to maintain a balance next time.
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i appreciate your try.your style of writing is good.but as mentioned by our other friends,i too observed some grammatical mistakes.your introductory paragraph is needed to be on neutral side rather on negative or positive.try to maintain a balance while reading ure essay's intro it is reflected that it would be on critical side.ure way of giving examples and facts appreciable.positive side was really missed,although was a good effort.
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Old Saturday, February 19, 2011
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nice but in my point of view these outlines can be added.role of islam in women rights.women value before the advent of islam.step tken in pak in favour of women.is there any NGO or something else for the righet of women.status of women in punjab,sindh,blochistan,nwfp. factors that r effecting rights of women.how much behind pak women is as copmare to other countrie.where pak stands in islamic world and asia regarding women rights.
thnx
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