outline of essay " education in pak"

[aabii butter]

senior members kindly kindly check my outline for the essay education in pak and plzzz do inform me about every mistake u can . this is my first attempt


EDUCATION IN PAKISTAN

OUTLINE:

INTRODUCTION:
EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM IN PAKISTAN:
PRESENT CONDITION OF EDUCATION IN PAKISTAN:
1: OUR LITERACY RATE
2: WORLD RANKING IN EDUCATION
3: PRIMARY AND SECONDARY EDUCATION

PROBLEMS BEHIND POOR EDUCATION:
1: POVERTY
2: LACK OF GUIDANCE
3: TERRORIST ATTACKS
4: ONLY BREAD EARNERS
5: NOT ENOUGH EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTIONS
6: LACK OF GOVT INTEREST
7: DISCRIMINATION OF GIVING EDUCATION ONLY TO A SPECIFIC GENDER
8: BLIND FOLLOWING OF SOME HYPOCRITE AND ILLETRATE ULEMAS
9: IMPROPER TEACHING METHODS
10: FEUDAL SYSTEMS
11: INADEQUATE SCOPE OF JOB FOR EDUCATED PEOPLE
12: POLITICAL INTERVENTION
13: CO-EDUCATION SYSTEM

POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS TO ERADICATE THE PROBLEMS:
1: SOCIAL AWARENESS
2: GOVERNMENT INVESTMENT IN BETTERMENT OF EDUCATION
3: ESTABLISHMENT OF SUFFICENT EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTES
4: PROPER TRAINING OF TEACHERS
5: GOVT FINANCIAL AID TO STUDENTS
6: PROPER MANAGEMENT OF COMPANIES TO CREATE JOBS
7: SECURITY FOR EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTES
8: AVOIDING THE BLIND FOLLOWING OF ULEMAS
9: END OF FEUDALISM
10: DISSOCIATION OF EDUCATION AND POLITICS

SOURCE OF MOTIVATION:
1: MALALA YOUSAFZAI
2: MUKHTARA MAI

CONCLUSION:

[Hasanqq]

Isnt it a very broad topic?

[Sumr]

Originally Posted by aabii butter

senior members kindly kindly check my outline for the essay education in pak and plzzz do inform me about every mistake u can . this is my first attempt


EDUCATION IN PAKISTAN

OUTLINE:

INTRODUCTION:
EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM IN PAKISTAN:
PRESENT CONDITION OF EDUCATION IN PAKISTAN:
1: OUR LITERACY RATE
2: WORLD RANKING IN EDUCATION
3: PRIMARY AND SECONDARY EDUCATION

PROBLEMS BEHIND POOR EDUCATION:
1: POVERTY
2: LACK OF GUIDANCE
3: TERRORIST ATTACKS
4: ONLY BREAD EARNERS
5: NOT ENOUGH EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTIONS
6: LACK OF GOVT INTEREST
7: DISCRIMINATION OF GIVING EDUCATION ONLY TO A SPECIFIC GENDER
8: BLIND FOLLOWING OF SOME HYPOCRITE AND ILLETRATE ULEMAS
9: IMPROPER TEACHING METHODS
10: FEUDAL SYSTEMS
11: INADEQUATE SCOPE OF JOB FOR EDUCATED PEOPLE
12: POLITICAL INTERVENTION
13: CO-EDUCATION SYSTEM

POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS TO ERADICATE THE PROBLEMS:
1: SOCIAL AWARENESS
2: GOVERNMENT INVESTMENT IN BETTERMENT OF EDUCATION
3: ESTABLISHMENT OF SUFFICENT EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTES
4: PROPER TRAINING OF TEACHERS
5: GOVT FINANCIAL AID TO STUDENTS
6: PROPER MANAGEMENT OF COMPANIES TO CREATE JOBS
7: SECURITY FOR EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTES
8: AVOIDING THE BLIND FOLLOWING OF ULEMAS
9: END OF FEUDALISM
10: DISSOCIATION OF EDUCATION AND POLITICS

SOURCE OF MOTIVATION:
1: MALALA YOUSAFZAI
2: MUKHTARA MAI

CONCLUSION:

Nice effort. Keep it up.

[aabii butter]

Hassnqq " it is indeed a very broad topic and still so much can be added to this essay"

[Norymberskie]

I am very interested in seeing how you justify co-education as a problem behind poor education in Pakistan.

[adan zahra]

good effort
but instead of strait forward outline you must use comprehensive sentences or phrases. for instance.. its better to right " gender discrimination" instead of a long sentence. Moreover arrange your ideas accordingly,, place terrorism on bottom and dont directly say anything -tv by saying the word ULEMAs. ts better to write religious clerks.point of co education could be submerged in gender discrimination.
over all good points. keep going.

[plotinium]

It seems to me that you have made education = literacy. Kindly, re-read the definition of education.

[Anum Zara]

Originally Posted by aabii butter

senior members kindly kindly check my outline for the essay education in pak and plzzz do inform me about every mistake u can . this is my first attempt


EDUCATION IN PAKISTAN

OUTLINE:

INTRODUCTION:
EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM IN PAKISTAN:
PRESENT CONDITION OF EDUCATION IN PAKISTAN:
1: OUR LITERACY RATE
2: WORLD RANKING IN EDUCATION
3: PRIMARY AND SECONDARY EDUCATION

PROBLEMS BEHIND POOR EDUCATION:
1: POVERTY
2: LACK OF GUIDANCE
3: TERRORIST ATTACKS
4: ONLY BREAD EARNERS
5: NOT ENOUGH EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTIONS
6: LACK OF GOVT INTEREST
7: DISCRIMINATION OF GIVING EDUCATION ONLY TO A SPECIFIC GENDER
8: BLIND FOLLOWING OF SOME HYPOCRITE AND ILLETRATE ULEMAS
9: IMPROPER TEACHING METHODS
10: FEUDAL SYSTEMS
11: INADEQUATE SCOPE OF JOB FOR EDUCATED PEOPLE
12: POLITICAL INTERVENTION
13: CO-EDUCATION SYSTEM

POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS TO ERADICATE THE PROBLEMS:
1: SOCIAL AWARENESS
2: GOVERNMENT INVESTMENT IN BETTERMENT OF EDUCATION
3: ESTABLISHMENT OF SUFFICENT EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTES
4: PROPER TRAINING OF TEACHERS
5: GOVT FINANCIAL AID TO STUDENTS
6: PROPER MANAGEMENT OF COMPANIES TO CREATE JOBS
7: SECURITY FOR EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTES
8: AVOIDING THE BLIND FOLLOWING OF ULEMAS
9: END OF FEUDALISM
10: DISSOCIATION OF EDUCATION AND POLITICS

SOURCE OF MOTIVATION:
1: MALALA YOUSAFZAI
2: MUKHTARA MAI

CONCLUSION:

You have written on general topic which has broad scope. Choose topics from past papers of last 10 years and try to attempt them. In CSS, now specific topics are being given in essay paper. Identify key points in the statements and write your outlines accordingly. It is not a recommended practice to write on general topics.

About your outline, I do not mean to discourage but it is indeed a very poor attempt. You need a lot of practice. You English seems fine to me and you do have knowledge about the topic. You just need to learn techniques.

You have taken education and literacy synonymously and that is why many of the points in your essay are irrelevant. Outline is poorly constructed and points are not self explanatory. For example: terrorist attacks. It is irrelevant but if you want to include it at least it should be phrased in a way which can explain that how it is a problem for education in Pakistan. There are a number of flaws in this outline. I cannot possibly point out all. One thing I surely want to say is that this is a very large outline of total 30 points. In essay, you will have to write 1 paragraph on each point. Try to write shorter outlines which you can handle in examination. Include only relevant points. You have written many problems. You can choose 5-7 major problems. Discuss them. Then explain their major effects/impacts. After that give recommendation according to the problems stated. Outline must be well constructed. It should be relevant and coherent. There are 6 kinds of essays and on general topic any format can be adopted. It is better to practice past papers.

One more thing which I noticed in your essay in unnecessary criticism. You have given a big statement by calling "Ulema hypocrite and illiterate". Giving this kind of statements in CSS is like committing SUICIDE in examination. Avoid unnecessary criticism. Avoid discussion on political leaders, parties, religions, sects etc.

[zulqarnayn]

nice effort. keep working hard. best of luck for your attempt.

[knockOut]

Any one want combined essay preparation? (Only those not appearing for the first time in CSS 2018 like me) so that I can exchange my 10 outlines of essays on daily basis and we may comment and check each others mistakes via one-to-one channel (I.e email). Only one or two members please those are not appearing for first time reply to my text . Thank you