I don't know how to evaluate a conclusion without the body of essay, I mean its important what you wrote between intro and concluding note to evaluate your conclusion, it should be relevant and well-deduced.
P.S, you should work on introduction first. Conclusion khud he acha ho jata hai introduction theek hone k baad

While giving examples, try not to mention names of parties or individuals. Be generic. For instance in the paragraph mentioning corruption, the name of PPP has been singled out.

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Muhammad Ali Asghar

Thanks a lot xara.

In my opinion, it is very difficult to say that Democracy in Pakistan Is under Threat. In such, Pakistan Never enjoyed the real democracy. Democratic parties in Pakistan itself the examples of dictatorship because of one man show and there is no genuine party based election instead of a drama. Basically there are many dynasties in Pakistan such as Military Dynasty, Bhutto Dynasty, Sharif Dynasty, and Chudhry Dynasty etc. So how can we expect from these dictators to be democratic.

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........"To have a failure in life is not a crime but to have a low aim in life is a crime"...........

topic " CHALLENGES TO DEMOCRACY IN PAKISTAN

Seniors please evaluate this introductory paragraph

Despite all the progress , democracy in Pakistan still faces many challenges as the elected governments are always vulnerable to undemocratic pressures and attacks. Increased proliferation of media and information technology revolution have helped strengthening the democracy in Pakistan ; still it faces threats from the continuous interference of army and its extra-constitutional actions- military coup d'etat. Another challenge for democracy in the country is the willingness of politicians to seek undemocratic assistance of other institutions of the state and attack each other whenever they sense political vulnerability. Furthermore . people are getting fed up of the cliche ' democracy ' for it has never been able to fulfill their desires and expectations ; clearly visible in poverty , illiteracy , poor law and order situation , genetically inherited political parties and absence of fair and free elections in the country. Bribery , corruption , black-marketing , nepotism and jobbery - all these social evils are fundamental impediments to a democracy and failure of democratic governments to address these issues is nearly at par with crimes against democracy which country has suffered. Therefore , democracy in Pakistan faces certain challenges : civil-military leadership rifts , frustrated masses- lack of confidence of people in democracy- and dismal social , political and economic condition of the country portrayed by illiteracy , poor law and order situation , absence of free and fair elections , massive poverty and rampant corruption.

i am a new member although iam not expert but whats come to my mind is that you should not repeat the same meaning in different ways at least in introduction part like ''Pakistan, since its day of inception, has faced several challenges to establish a true democratic system, which could guarantee its survival, stability and development. Every democratic period has been followed by the military rule. Unfortunately, the plant of democracy has not taken its roots deep enough to make the country, “a durable democratic state.” This is the reason that until now democracy in Pakistan is prone to many threats.
what i think is ,you might narrow it down to 2 or 3 sentences , please guide me if u think u are on right side , thanks

it seems good one. in my opinion you have to make introduction strong and remedies especially rectification of concerned evil is necessary by govt,LEAs and institution and judiciary etc.

Best of luck Sir for the new assignment as Deputy Commissioner, Bannu.

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“What we need in this country today is more courage and more belief in the things that we have.”- Thomas J. Watson