sir do you think that i would be able to pass css essay paper with this sort of writing /presentation style?

Sure, provided you don't rely heavily on your maiden attempts. Which seems to be the case hitherto.

CSS requires organized and well planned attempt. Extempore/maiden and haphazard attempts are risky ventures which may or may not lead you to your target.

__________________
"Tumhary nafs ki qeemat Janat hay isy Janat say kam qeemat pey na bechna."
"Jiyo to istarh ky log tum sy milny ko tarsy; maro to istrah k log tumharee mot par royain"

comparatively better effort.good statistics bot still more would be better. Still proper order should be observed in the presentation of essay. You have inserted the some corrective suggestions in the middle then causes and concomitant effects and later on u have mentioned causes and again solutions have presented.i think causes should precede the solutions.
1 introduction 2 historical perspective 3 current scenario 4 causes 5 concomitant effects 6 steps already taken 7 future recommendations/solution 8 conclusion overall good effort your flow of english is commendable

Thank you saeed.
I will try to do much better in future. I will write another essay soon ,hope l observe some improvement..

I have written introduction of an essay. Is this fit to be called intro for CSS ESSAy? Please don't encourage me by saying that all is well. Rather tell frankly where the loopholes are, so that i could improve them. thanks.







UNEMPLOYMENT IN PAKISTAN


Unemployment is one of the gravest problems confronting Pakistan. Broadly speaking, unemployment is an economic condition marked by the fact that individuals actively seeking jobs remain unhired. In Pakistan,according to an estimate,unemployment rate is almost six per cent.A huge chunk of the masses is either unemployment or underemployed. This is an alarming situation and has posed serious challenges to the country as a whole.No doubt, the rampant unemployment has opened pandora’s box for the poor masses. It has resulted in numberless other ills. The major among these ills is poverty.As a matter of fact, employment is the major source of earning for the masses. The unavailability of jobs directly results in Poverty. Moreover, Poverty ,in its wake, creates frustration and depression among the masses which according to the psychologists are the root causes of suicides. No doubt, the depressed and dejected people are highly prone to suicides which is virtually the case with Pakistani society.Besides suicides,the unemployed chunk of the masses remain highly prone to other social ills such as prostitution. Jobless people,finding no other alternative,resorts to immoral practices. Prostitution has become a business as well which is breeding several uncurable diseases in our society i.e.,aids is on the top of the list. Last but not least, the employed youth easily become the victims of terrorists organizations. No doubt,the menace of terrorism and extremism has posed serious security challenges for the country. While the causes of unemployment such as lack of good governance, illiteracy, corruption and mismangement of funds, rapidly growing population and acute energy crisis are known, the government and concerned authorities seems impotent to combat this monster. This is a herculean task, no doubt, which requires colossal efforts,yet not impossible to resolve.Some gigantic steps if taken can lessen the magnitude of this problem, if not completely eradicated. Firstly,the government should take this problem seriously . Secondly, corruption and malpractices should be dealt with iron hand. Thirdly,efforts should be made for the dissemination of education in general and technical education in particular.Similarly, feasible endeveours for boost in agriculture sector should be made.Lastly, the ever growing population should be checked.These efforts,candidly speaking,will produce fascinating results for the country as a whole.

Essays are quite ok, but one thing which is counted as a key for Essay is an outline which lakes in both of your essays.
Luck!

i am not satisfied with my writing style.

Unsatisfactoriness would lead you to work harder. Your essays are well written however there still remains some room for improvement. Practice as much as you can as it will improve your writing.

Your Essay:

"Unemployment is one of the gravest problems confronting Pakistan. Broadly speaking, unemployment is an economic condition marked by the fact that individuals actively seeking jobs remain unhired. In Pakistan,according to an estimate,unemployment rate is almost six per cent.A huge chunk of the masses is either unemployment or underemployed (When introducing terms of prime focus like underemployment, you should also give its definition as you did in case of unemployment). This is an alarming situation and has posed serious challenges to the country as a whole.No doubt, the rampant unemployment has opened pandora’s box for the poor masses. It has resulted in numberless other ills. The major among these ills is poverty.As a matter of fact, employment is the major source of earning for the masses. The unavailability of jobs directly results in Poverty (Why "poverty" is started with capital letter?). Moreover, Poverty ,in its wake, creates frustration and depression among the masses which according to the psychologists are the root causes of suicides. No doubt, the depressed and dejected people are highly prone to suicides which is virtually the case with Pakistani society (Although, grammatically correct, but this sentence can be made better, for example, "This is evident from the increasing number of suicide incidents in Pakistan) .Besides suicides,the unemployed chunk of the masses remain highly prone to other social ills such as prostitution. Jobless people,finding no other alternative,resorts to immoral practices. Prostitution has become a business as well (as a) which is breeding ground for several uncurable diseases in our society i.e.,aids is on the top of the list (for example, AIDS is one such example of sexually transmitted disease). Last but not least, the employed youth easily become the victims of terrorists organizations. No doubt (Don't use this word too much),the menace of terrorism and extremism has posed serious security challenges for the country. (I don't think, suggesting each result of unemployment separately will help your writing style. You can lump together all these points) While the causes of unemployment such as lack of good governance, illiteracy, corruption and mismangement of funds, rapidly growing population and acute energy crisis are known, the government and concerned authorities seems impotent to combat this monster. This is a herculean task, no doubt, which requires colossal efforts,yet not impossible to resolve.Some gigantic steps if taken can lessen the magnitude of this problem, if not completely eradicated. Firstly,the government should take this problem seriously (How?) . Secondly, corruption and malpractices should be dealt with iron hand. Thirdly,efforts should be made for the dissemination of education in general and technical education in particular (Even our educated are unemployed, then how this step will help?).Similarly, feasible endeveours for boost in agriculture sector should be made (Why?).Lastly, the ever growing population should be checked.These efforts,candidly speaking,will produce fascinating results for the country as a whole."

One last thing, in an introduction, I don't think you should include the policy recommendations. You should try to make a connection between your introductory paragraph to the next, that they seem to be linked together.

Thank you new student..
i'l try to overcome these loopholes