Please check it out and I hope it will also help you out a lot in essay paper.
Thanks....[/I] (If you see any mistake please correct it out. Thanking in advance.........[/B]

Illiteracy is yet an other problem of Pakistan. The literacy rate lingers on 56% and ironically it also includes those people who can read and write their name in Urdu. Over the decades, despite decreasing, illiteracy rate in Pakistan has shown an upward trend. Not only that but enrollment ratio of students at primary level has shown a decreasing trend. The fact that 50 percent of children do not complete their primary education testifies this fact. Uneducated adults contribute negligibly to the national exchequer. Despite spending millions on it, government has failed to achieve literacy rates comparable to other countries in South Asia. Private sector is doing commendable job for the promotion of educational culture in Pakistan, but its main objective is money-making. Schools and colleges are opened as a business prospect and thus many of them lack quality.


Unemployment is also regarded as a major social problem. Major portion of Pakistan’s population consists of youth and a large number of young people who have the ability and are willing to work are unemployed. Currently rate of unemployment as per official resources is 7.4% but according to some private estimates the rate of unemployment is 12%. There are many reasons of unemployment like influx of machinery that has replaced manpower, lack of new industries and defective education system. But the impacts of unemployment are more serious and dangerous. People who don’t find work here migrate to other countries with better prospects. Also, people tired of making both ends meet due to unemployment indulge in nefarious activities and ratio of crime increases.


Child labour is widespread in Pakistan. Whether in bigger cities or in small villages, we find innocent malnourished children employed in various forms of labour. They are working as welders, mechanics, plumbers, electricians and in industries like carpet-weaving, glass and football making. Meager wages are paid to these children and no facilities for education are provided. Media and NGOs have always condemned child labour. In past, some countries refused to import those goods from Pakistan in whose making children were employed. But despite all these factors, due to growing inflation and poverty, parents are bound to send their children to work to light their stoves.

Pakistan is also facing a health crisis due to insufficient health facilities with raising rates of hepatitis, diabetes, heart disease, and other non-communicable disease. This situation worsens calamity. The World Health Organization (WTO) reported 4 million cases of diarrhea, pneumonia, malaria and skin conditions that had largely resulted from the flood conditions. Cholera outbreaks have also been reported from flood-affected areas.

Corruption is another huge social problem. According to latest report of Transparency International, Pakistan has been ranked at 42nd number among the most corrupt nations of the world. From clerical staff to higher offices and bureaucrats, all are involved in corruption of one kind or the other. Corruption in government departments is so much deep-rooted that a common concept prevails that the system doesn’t let honest people to work peacefully. There is a lack of accountability due to which wealthy people and those in power are sure that they can’t be held responsible for their deeds. So they keep on looting the national treasures and find ways to legalize their black-money. Many corrupt people don’t even bother to do that.

At present the gravest problem that Pakistan is facing is its precarious law and order condition. Terrorism has become a headache for federation and a nightmare for public. Government has been helpless in eradicating terrorism despite beefing up security in metropolitan cities. Public seeks answer to the question that what is their fault for which they are being punished by the terrorists? People have become numerical figures, blown up in numbers every now and then. Terrorists have not spared any place. Bazars, mosques, educational institutes, offices, hotels- you name it and the place is not safe any more.

Rate of inflation was never a two-digit figure in Pakistan, but in recent years it has seen an unprecedented increase. Prices of all consumer products in general and food products in particular are rocket high. Core inflation soared to 18.85% in first quarter of year 2009 until SBP took steps to curb inflation through tight monetary policy. Cost of production increased due to various factors. International increase in oil prices and Pakistan’s internal unfavorable business conditions are two important factors responsible for high rates of inflation. Consumer Price Index (CPI) as well as Wholesale Price Index (WPI) is at all-time high. In contrast, purchasing power of masses is at an all-time low.

Because of the closure of many industrial units, many people became jobless. This has greatly distributed the life of people and thus there are protests against that in every corner of the country.

Foreign Direct Investment (FDI) is like a tonic(n=takat baksh) for the economy of the country. Because of the crisis and civil unrest in Pakistan, chances of foreign investment are growing less day by day. This indeed a great blow for the ailing(bimari mariz) economy of the country.

Subsequently, because of energy crisis, industrial units being shut off, no FDI and thus leading to increase in number of jobless people. The new generation has taken great affect from that situation. They are planning to leave the country and to find a new heaven for themselves. Thus brain drain is occurring/happening. Serious actions should be taken in that regard otherwise our country will face great problem in the new future.

Moreover, for economic development, energy crises should be controlled. New dams should be built and new methods of producing electricity should be utilized.

Successive governments have taken steps to solve various socio-economic problems. But these problems are so deep-rooted that they have not been successful in putting an end to these problems. The problem lies in the fact that government focuses on one factor and ignores the others related to it. For example, much emphasis is laid on beefing up security in big cities in wake of terrorism. But nothing serious has been done to seal the unlawful entrance of arms from across the border. Acids and explosive materials used for destruction by atomic bombs are easily available in market at cheap prices. Ministers and other government officials enjoy the facilities of squads of armed body guards while public places like markets, roads, shopping centers, bus stands etc are not adequately protected. To control terrorism, government needs to stop fighting the proxy war on behalf of USA.

Making policies has never been the plight of our government. It is the lack of implementation which keeps the wheel of problems moving. Today our government not only needs to take initiatives and hard decisions but it also boost to the dying economy pragmatic strategies.

However, corruption, misuse of funds, malpractices of all departments must be eradicated at all costs. Besides, the energy consumption and wastage must be avoided and eradicated at all costs.

Last but not the least, the public trust and support is of utmost importance. No policy can succeed if it does not enjoy public support. Media can play an effective role in creating awareness and trust that it is actually a global problem which can only be solved with the help and conscious effort by every citizen.

So, Miss Aishamemona, your topic must have been socio-economic problems of Pakistan, which was, for some uncertain reason, not mentioned, I think. The first para then should, by way of introduction mentions some of the problems and then elaborate on them. This was not the case, I believe. First para discusses illiteracy. Then unemployment, child labour, health crisis etc. So what is lacking in this piece of writing is organisation of the material (which is also an issue with my writing).
Then there were short paragraph-like sentences, which I failed to categorise as something like “Because of the closure of many industrial units, many people became jobless. This has greatly distributed the life of people and thus there are protests against that in every corner of the country.”, “Moreover, for economic development, energy crises should be controlled. New dams should be built and new methods of producing electricity should be utilized.” And “However, corruption, misuse of funds, malpractices of all departments must be eradicated at all costs. Besides, the energy consumption and wastage must be avoided and eradicated at all costs.” I think these should be subsumed under the previous paragraph or sufficiently elaborated upon to make them look like paragraphs.
And there was no well-rounded concluding paragraph presenting a sort of summary of the material.
So the net conclusion is: no explicit topic, introduction or conclusion treated in the essay.
These are my myopic observations. Please correct me if I am in the wrong.

__________________
Beware of wolves.

you should pay a great attention to coherence ..... by using transitions....
secondly spelling mistakes will detract the checker pen, while giving marks to you
the most important thing is that first you should write your outline.... then keep following what so ever you have mentioned in out line to bring clarity as well as coherence ... along with a good look n impression ... so keep it up wish you all the best... best of luck...

I have just collected these figures and some paras from several resources. I do agree with you. Yes you are saying right. I try to attempt it again in my own expressions. I wanted to get idea of it. Thanks.

Nisar will it be your first attempt or second? And how many essays have you prepared, I mean what is your essay paper's strategy?

I think good attempt

you must keep practice of paragraph writng first then you should move towards essy....you should try to write a paragraph on corruption i will check it out.... for a sample of an outline check my outline.... on democracy and its failure in Pakistan... you definitely get a good idea... n let me check your paragraph as well essay .... then i will tell you what to do ... best of luck

Please give me your link and i attempt my essay fully. I will be looking forward for your such response.

Dear Aishamemona, 2013 is last attempt. In 2010 and 2012, I have failed in essay. So the experience of failure has made me realize that instead of going for on the spot writing of essay, one should make four or five areas and collect material for them. One should also keep practicing full length essays on them. I have written a dozen or so essays without preparation.
This time I'm out on the hunt for material. Besides, in my previous two attempts, I neglected giving prime importance to introduction and conclusion and had issues with organization with the material.
Pray for me to surmount the problem and hit a sixer on the last ball.

__________________
Beware of wolves.

********@yahoo.com
dear you can search my essay outline on my profile... i have only posted one outline on democracy..... as well as you can send directly your essay on my i d.... i will tell you how to improve... sorry to say very tough n hectic schedule is being here for me to practice... so i will response you asap.

psychology is also my opt can u help me (book and nots or any ather)?