Essay:its an era of 'winter of world'
 

I am writing just starting sentences. I hope seniors will help me out by pinpointing mistakes- grammatically, vocabulary and sentence structure.

"Systematic imbalance between positive attitude, secular characteristics and high values of nature,beautifying the world, and shattering nerves of human being rendering terrible destruction is paving way for unusual consequences. Irresponsible and and ambiguous treatment human being meting out to earth causing irreparable damages to suatainability of both, beings and nature. Creatures of mind and heart jolted the very foundations of this born-to-be-secular earth through their narrow and conservative interpretations of human philosophies. Love has replaced materialism, thinking overshadowed by wasted interests, charity is sign of ostentiousness, individualism has ecclipsed collective consciousness and dignity of man is lost pretige.

Thank you.

Is there any one for quick response .. I'll be much obliged.

Dear hassamniazi!
 

I have also tried to write this one essay.
You may have look of it at here
[URL="http://www.cssforum.com.pk/css-compulsory-subjects/essay/71659-my-essays.html#post520770"]http://www.cssforum.com.pk/css-compulsory-subjects/essay/71659-my-essays.html#post520770[/URL]
Thanks

"Systematic imbalance in positive attitude, secular characteristics, high values of nature, beautifying the world, and shattering nerves of human being rendering terrible destruction is paving the way for unusual consequences. Irresponsible and ambiguous treatment human being meting out to earth causing irreparable damages to sustainability of both, beings and nature. Creatures of mind and heart jolted the very foundations of this born-to-be-secular earth through their narrow and conservative interpretations of human philosophies. Love has replaced materialism, thinking overshadowed by wasted interests, charity is sign of contentiousness, individualism has eclipsed collective consciousness and dignity of man is lost prestige.”

I think we use “between” for two things or group of things. You have mentioned four different things. Therefore, ‘in’ would be more appropriate than ‘between’.

The underlined words had negligible errors, which I have tried to rectify.

Moreover, dear, as a reader, I do not find clarity in this piece. What is it trying to say? I feel your thoughts have become obscure under the burden of words. While what you are writing to achieve in this is commendable, your execution is surely reprehensible. Hope, you will not feel offended. This is just the beginning of learning. One day, you will be a dexterous writer.

Brother thank you for your kind suggestions.
Firstly, I resort to comparative analysis between "nature" and "man" .. That's why I used the word 'between'.
Anyhow, I surrender. I need extensive practice, I know.