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Check My First Essay Outline - Please Read My Short Story Too
Thanking you all in advance for taking out time to read this. I initially planned to appear in CSS 2013 but my plans were washed away as my brother and sister both got married within 4 months ( September - December 2012 ).
Just turned 22, currently doing MBA from UCP and cleared simple BA with Persian, Journalism and Political Science as a private candidate from Punjab University securing 466 marks. Before that, i was enrolled in Bsc Business Program in FCC. I have been discouraged by a lot of seniors in my circle that i am too young to appear in CSS exams and that i havent got a professional degree to show off and that my writing style isnt matuer etc but despite everyone against me, i have continued my preparation for CSS 2014 and while doing so i finished writing my first essay yesterday on the topic of Terrorism which is extremely common these days. Below is the outline that i made before writing. PS: I have been silent here all the time but that doesnt mean i havent learnt anything. So its a request that please provide me your honest feedback about the outline and if the opinion voiced by my seniors is legitimate then feel free to express the harsh reality regarding me. Outline Definition of Terrorism - Its Meaning in Pakistan Its Dual Nature - How it is Multi faceted difference dimensions in our country ( Different forms in all the provinces ) E.g Sectarian and Target Killings in Karachi whereas TTP being active in KP Why, How and Who Started All This. ( Reference to different opinions that people carry, like for example some blame kalashnikov era under Zia, Musharaff's decision to be an ally in War Against Terror etc ) Why It Is Important to look at its negative effects on various aspects in our country Political Effects - Assassination of Political Leaders ( Benazir Bhutto, Bashir Bilour, Mahmood Alam MQM's MPA). - Adverse for Democracy as these assassinations instill a fear in minds of masses. - This Fear will make people distance themselves from Political activities. - All this ultimately encourages conspiracy theorists to incite those who are in the favor of democracy Economical Effects - 7$ Billion Loss on Annual Basis - Cost needed to carry on military operation in Tribal Agencies has adverse effects - Infra Structure being effected badly by terrorism that slows down the economics cycle. - All this results into lack of investment Social Effects - Victims face massive difficulties to meet their both ends meet - With Terrorists destroying schools, a large number of girls remain socially behind in terms of acquiring education - Recent wave of sectarian killings of Shia Muslims and Lahore incident is another attempt to disturb the social balance between different sects. Regional Effects - Pakistan stands alone in South Asian region when it comes to terrorism - Has Issues regarding terrorism with India, Iran, Afghanistan and briefly with China as well. - Our Country is being considered as a security risk. Solutions - Need to follow long and short term strategy to combat this menace Short Term Strategy - Historical background tells us that war isnt a solution in tribal areas. ( Reference to British Rule when they left this area as a buffer zone ) - Keeping historical background in mind, we need to pull out from this war - This will prove wrong the narrative of foreign insurgents in eyes of Local Tribes. Narrative = That the state of Pakistan is fighting America's War etc - With tribal support gone, Foreign insurgents will have nowhere to hide and no option other than to fight and get killed or flee. - With these steps taken, there would be high chances of peace finally being stored in our country after a decade. Long Term Strategy - We need to eradicate the real causes of terrorism in tribal agency I .E Lack of Development, Lack of Education, ( with only 3% literacy rate ) and limited employment opportunities. - Continued Work in these, so that we dont see a repeat of this happening in our Tribal areas where foreign perpetrators brainwashing our people against the state. The End Thanks a million for reading. |
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alihashmatkhoso (Wednesday, March 27, 2013) |
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indeed a very good effort. This type ov essay mainly focus and depends on de following points.
The past, present, cause, impacts, remedies and conlusion; this is the first thing that examineer would like to see in ur essay and u have it all. I will try and figure ur essay out as under The Goods 1) A very bried yet a powerfull history, mentioing kalashankov culture will surely leave a good impact on examiner. 2) Your essay seems to be in very good order and it went with a perfect flow. 3) Writen expression is simple and clear. The Grey Areas i wont really call thm de grey areas instead these are the thing that you will surely improve by the passage ov time. 1) While writting the main heading ov causes, impacts and solutions dont be that simple. Replace your words with synonyms like u can replace heading ov impacts with logical consiquences and solutions/remedies with Pragmatic Solutions. 2) While writing various causes in various heading ie social, regional effects; you should either be 3dimensional or 5 dimensional 3d = social, economic and political 5d = social, economic, political, religious and technological. 3) Quotations were missing, add relevant quatations where required. Final Remarks Overall an excellent effort and may Allah Almighty bless U |
The Following User Says Thank You to Naveed_Bhuutto For This Useful Post: | ||
alihashmatkhoso (Wednesday, March 27, 2013) |
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@ Bitts
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further you have to concentrate on your flow of writing and make your outlines in outlines manner like outlines introduction causes a b c d etc effects a b c d e f. etc remedies conclusion stay blessed
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LOVE all, TRUST a few, do WRONG to none...... |
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Avoid regular use of "Netspeak" or other "cute" grammar or spelling (For example: writing "R U a woman?" instead of "Are You a woman?"). Abide by forum rules. http://www.cssforum.com.pk/general/f...-policies.html
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If Winter comes, Can Spring be Far Behind...?? Last edited by Z Bokhari; Wednesday, March 27, 2013 at 10:46 AM. |
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Best of luck!
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"Find what you love and let it kill you" - Bukowski |
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Got your point. Quote:
Indeed it was a big mistake at my end. Quote:
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