plz check my essay its my ever first essay
 

mistakes are appreciated but criticism is not allowed because i am new aspirant so criticism of any one may be demorale me. thanks

Aim of my life

Aim of my life is to be an army officer , I know that life of army is full of difficulties, sorrows and limited social life but its my childhood ambition to become a soldier and become the part of Pakistan army, thing that most inspired me and enforce me to join pak army is life of solider with full of discipline, despite these all of things I believe that I am mentally and physical very keen to serve my nation and country as well and I think army is only institute where you can show your strength towards nation. I want to fight against anti state element till my death those who are killing my soldiers I will never pardon them I will never compromise on sovereignty of my country i want to dedicate my entire life to my motherland country and my wish is to keep free land of my country from terrorists as Pakistan knows as land of free peoples if God will give me an opportunity for joining and becoming part of pak army I will avail that opportunity and will do thanks of God for such great success and I guess that will be great success of my youth after achieving my this aim of life I will request to God for my one more thing that is one and only to embrace SHAHADAT And I think for a soldier to achieve the grade of shahadat is enough more than any thing.

But I think in my opinion to achieve aim of life in this world specially in our society is very difficult so men should keep multiple choices in his or her life but it does not mean that we can not achieve whatever we want, nothing is impossible unless one should not keep does hardworking so if I could not join the pak army and Allah wants to get another work from my self then I will be agreed with Almighty Allah because Allah is great planner and I will keep does hardworking because hardworking is key to success and I believe that Allah does those things for man which is in fever of him/her. After keeping my moral high in such way I will go through for competitive exam (css) because I know that I am hard worker and talented student I have ability to complete everything I am committed with my self to achieve any object I will prove my self in civil institutes after could not join army I will become role model for new generation after becoming a csp officer I will join police service of Pakistan because in our society there is image of our police is not so good so I will pay my services for police department after joining police department my aim will be only to create peace in society because as every one knows that in Pakistan the situation of law and order is critical our public think that our police is not able to handle situations and police does not takes action immediately but if these things to be controlled well then economy of Pakistan will surely be increased because the major reason for decreasing our economy Is peace process . In my opinion there is another problem which is very important regarding police and govt officials and that is involvement of political personalities in govt departments so I will never pay attentions to these type of rubbish things and I will carry my job with honesty and I will treat equally with every one if I found any one else in criminal case I will charge against him no matter from which back ground he belongs there will be no favoritism in process of my job.

your language is good but you should be css oriented. This style of writing especially the intro of your essay is an ordinary and school or college level intro. For this purpose you should consult any good english teacher who could have knowledge about the css essay methodology.

any one guide me about Eassays

Kami bro your essay is good but it is just a college or school type of essay you should read Dawn news regularly and select a good topic on recent issues in Pakistan and write those topics in your own language so you will get a good writing expression. Read good topics and then explain it in your own language so you will have command to write on any topic.

free speech should have limitations. plz check! its outline
 

[B]1. Introduction[/B]
[B]2. Forums of free speech and its impact[/B]
i- use of loudspeaker for hate speech in mosques and sectarianism
ii- use of social media (facebook, twitter..)
iii- free speech at public gathering ( killing of Bashir Bilour at a gathering)
iv- use of newspaper ( caricatures in dutch newspaper)
[B]3. Consequences of free speech[/B]
i- Institutional disharmony (politics vs Supreme Court, Babar Awan scenario)
ii-provincial disharmony ( hate speech of political leaders against each othe, Kalabagh dam as an example)
iii- Interfaith disharmony ( inocence of muslims and killing of american diplomated in Libya)
iv- Disintegration at family level (even families are divided... etc)
[B]4. Suggestions[/B] (amendments in national laws of each country, defined limitations on free speech in UN's civil and political rights)
[B]5. Conclusion[/B] ( free speech should be ducted by strict laws... because there is freedom of speech only not freedom to offend...):confused::waiting:unsure:

dear i am happy to see your positive comments about my essay and i will improve my essay writing with some time period u just think that this is my first essay and my age is 20 years only so at this stage my essay should be appreciated.
and it seems college level essay due the topic.

i really appreciates you that you are just 20 years and you can express you thoughts by writing. keep it up

Shizz this is your ever first post on forum and that is regarding my essay it means my essay did impressed you.

[QUOTE=kamii;638848]mistakes are appreciated but criticism is not allowed because i am new aspirant so criticism of any one may be demorale me. thanks

Aim of my life

Aim of my life is to be an army officer , I know that life of army is full of difficulties, sorrows and limited social life but its my childhood ambition to become a soldier and become the part of Pakistan army, thing that most inspired me and enforce me to join pak army is life of solider with full of discipline, despite these all of things I believe that I am mentally and physical very keen to serve my nation and country as well and I think army is only institute where you can show your strength towards nation. I want to fight against anti state element till my death those who are killing my soldiers I will never pardon them I will never compromise on sovereignty of my country i want to dedicate my entire life to my motherland country and my wish is to keep free land of my country from terrorists as Pakistan knows as land of free peoples if God will give me an opportunity for joining and becoming part of pak army I will avail that opportunity and will do thanks of God for such great success and I guess that will be great success of my youth after achieving my this aim of life I will request to God for my one more thing that is one and only to embrace SHAHADAT And I think for a soldier to achieve the grade of shahadat is enough more than any thing.

But I think in my opinion to achieve aim of life in this world specially in our society is very difficult so men should keep multiple choices in his or her life but it does not mean that we can not achieve whatever we want, nothing is impossible unless one should not keep does hardworking so if I could not join the pak army and Allah wants to get another work from my self then I will be agreed with Almighty Allah because Allah is great planner and I will keep does hardworking because hardworking is key to success and I believe that Allah does those things for man which is in fever of him/her. After keeping my moral high in such way I will go through for competitive exam (css) because I know that I am hard worker and talented student I have ability to complete everything I am committed with my self to achieve any object I will prove my self in civil institutes after could not join army I will become role model for new generation after becoming a csp officer I will join police service of Pakistan because in our society there is image of our police is not so good so I will pay my services for police department after joining police department my aim will be only to create peace in society because as every one knows that in Pakistan the situation of law and order is critical our public think that our police is not able to handle situations and police does not takes action immediately but if these things to be controlled well then economy of Pakistan will surely be increased because the major reason for decreasing our economy Is peace process . In my opinion there is another problem which is very important regarding police and govt officials and that is involvement of political personalities in govt departments so I will never pay attentions to these type of rubbish things and I will carry my job with honesty and I will treat equally with every one if I found any one else in criminal case I will charge against him no matter from which back ground he belongs there will be no favoritism in process of my job.[/QUOTE]

Bro, I dont want to criticize but there are certain mistakes in your essay.
Your introduction is not up to the mark. You have stretched your sentences in a futile way. They can be separated by removing commas and 'ands'. There are many grammatical mistakes and spelling mistakes too.

You should hone your writing skills.

[QUOTE=amannan;664382]Bro, I dont want to criticize but there are certain mistakes in your essay.
Your introduction is not up to the mark. You have stretched your sentences in a futile way. They can be separated by removing commas and 'ands'. There are many grammatical mistakes and spelling mistakes too.

You should hone your writing skills.[/QUOTE]
dear, INSHA ALLAH all grammatical and other mistakes will be covered with certain time period. i am at initial level