seniors plz give me marks for the following essay


outline
Violence and incompetent
man is known by his intellectual powers not by physical appearance
violence is against the dignity of man
incompetent persons get involved in quarralty in minor issues because they don't have mental powers or ability
competent person uses his head while an incompetent uses his heart
violence is the weapon of coward
jealousy plays its role in agitating an incompetent because they don't know that what is the real status and dignity of a man.
competent persons fight war with their mental and intellectual ability,not with their guns
lack of knowledge is key player for the incompetent to use force.
remedies
awareness
knowledge
...............
that was what i recalled.

A bad worker quarrels with his tools.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent

1-Introduction

2-Who are incompetents

3-A Dictator,who is incompetent(has no legal status) to rule……..resort to violence.

4-A Democratic govt,who has the support of people……does not resort to violence.

5-Examples from present scenario;
*Taliban and the govt of pakistan
*On small scale…..conflict b/t two individuals
*In a family;children,who are incompetent,resort to weeping,crying,and even violence

6-All the collonial wars that were fought by incompetent public against their colonial powers.
*Example of 13 states of USA against Britian.
*Example of 1857 independence war

7-Great leaders of the world,when were incompetent…..resort to violence.
*Example of Nelson Mandella____when he was incompetent.he resorted to violence.But when found himself competent,he became the champion of peace,tranquality,and equality.
*Example of Qauid-e-Azam,a great muslim leader.

8-Why incompetent resort to it.
*Social causes
*Economic causes
*ethnic causes
*Religios causes
*Failed interests Groups

9-Recommendations….How to controle the incompetents so that they may not resort to violence.

10-Conclusion

This essay is a quote by Isaac Asimov

Dear your essay is spread like a mushroom.lacking organization, sequence, sum up of thoughts, but it is clear,simple and relevant. Wish you good luck. And there is difference between word resort and refuge. And it is important component of this essay.

Please tell me, what is original topic, in past papers on fpsc website it is written as " violence is the (LARGE) refuge..".

You are on the right track. 90 percent of your outline is similar to mine and I got 55 marks last year. However, you need to reorient your outline a little bit. Point no 5, 6 ,7 needs to come in the end. Since, they are examples from contemporary world and history, therefore, you need to mention it in the last so to support your main argument that you discussed in your body paragraphs. Else, you can also add one example per paragraph to support your argument but then the example needs to be relevant and appropriate. The advantage of writing examples in the end is that you don't have to worry about its relevancy to a particular argument or point that you mentioned in the body paragraph. You just need to give general examples. That's all.

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Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray--Rumi

A.O.A ... Engr Ahmed here from AJK , want to get some help in ESSAY , may i have your email ID . thanks

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If you don't like any rule . .Just follow it, reach the top, And change the rule . .

your outline is very good inash, but don't you think you should also include impacts of violence before giving recommendations ???

“I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.”
― Mahatma Gandhi,