|
Share Thread: Facebook Twitter Google+ |
|
LinkBack | Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
Please check and highlight mistakes: Everything will change forever
Everything will change forever:
Covid-19 continues to wreak havoc across the world taking heavy toll on human lives, disrupting everyday-life, and causing heavy damage to economy. The deadly virus is one of the rarest occurrences in the human history that will have changed everything for ever. By the time it will be contained, it would have affected human thinking processes, state’s modus operandi, crime rate, etc. There is a need for the governments around the world to be well prepared even for the post-Covid19 period in advance as part of damage control exercise. The Covid-19 pandemic has caused far-reaching impact to the planet earth as did the 9/11. Once the coronavirus is contained and recovery begins, human behaviours will be significantly altered. For instance, as recommended by WHO and the health practitioners ‘No Handshake’, it will be practiced even in the post-Covid-19 times owing to the reason that the ravages of the pandemic cannot be easily forgotten. Its affects will remain part of our long-term memories no matter what. Few days back, this author has inquired whether masses are practising ‘no handshake’ in rural areas. To my utter surprise as I was not expecting this, majority in the rural areas of Sindh are avoiding handshake. One of my relative responded that when he went to buy groceries and his acquaintance tried to greet him with handshake, he apologised to shake hand requesting his acquaintance to practice no handshake as recommended by the authorities for mutual safety. It does not mean that all the masses are abiding by the government’s instructions. Certainly, it varies from area to area. Hence, avoiding handshake will also be practiced in future as well. At the state level, traditional security was given precedence over the non-traditional aspects of security. Every state of the planet earth focused on allocating significant resources on their defence and military muscle with increase in every subsequent budget. All-important health sector was accorded insignificant priority. Situation is deplorable especially in the developing countries. Pakistan allocates less than one percent of its GDP on health. However, in the post-Covid19 world, states will be enhancing their budgetary allocations on healthcare services. It is hoped that Pakistan would realise this blunder and dedicate at least 2 % of GDP on heath in the future budgets with significant increases in each subsequent fiscal year. From crimes perspective, during the lockdown crime rate has decreased to zero. It is not because of lockdown and restricted movement but due to the fear of being infected from coronavirus as the socially deviants are equally aware of the fact that it is quite possible that the potential victim may have symptomatic or asymptomatic virus. Afterall, everyone loves living in this world as it is rightly said ‘even if somebody assures us of going to paradise, but we will not be willing to die’. Here readers are requested not to compare or connect the suicide bombers to this phenomenon as there are always certain exceptions in every situation. On the contrary, once the situation normalises, crime rate will be in stark contrast to lockdown period. We will witness a steep rise in crimes for a sustained period in future for many reasons. One, those whose savings will be dried up during the lockdown period will be looking for shortcuts and thus they will resort to the criminal route of making money. Two, those who are criminals and are currently in a state of dormancy will activate continuing their bad habits. Obviously, old bad habits die hard. Three, by virtue of economic slowdown, private enterprises will lay-off their employees resulting in massive joblessness. Patience is the rarest commodity these days and it will be least possible available amongst the jobless individuals who have to cater to their families. Therefore, jobless and hard-pressed persons will also resort to the criminal means to make money. Fourth, as the company so the colour, some will be motivated by their friends to do so. Alas, post-Covid19 time will witness massive spike in crime as well as violence. There is a need that the governments ought to be well-prepared for possible situation that will emerge after containment of novel virus. That will equally be full of risks. The governments should make a sound plan for tackling the economic jolts, rehabilitation of affected persons and providing jobs or stipends to the jobless youth. The government should consider providing stipends along with technical or digital skills so that they may start their own businesses or freelancing. In the digital era, online freelancing on platforms like Upwork and Fiverr are in much demand. If the government equips youth with these requisite skills, the jobless youth may earn sufficient revenue from these platforms. Presidential Initiative for Artificial Intelligence & Computing (PIAIC) is an important step in this regard. However, keeping in view the pressing situation such programmes ought to be tailored for the jobless Pakistani youth for the post-Covid19 time. Moreover, other technical skills such as mechanic, electrician, etc. for the uneducated youth should also be preferred in this respect. The more we plan to engage our youth, the better it is in view of the hard-pressed times ahead. Coronavirus is a cataclysmic occurrence of this century which has potential to change everything for ever entailing vastly pernicious effects. The more aggressive efforts are taken to contain it, the better it is. In addition, the more we prepare for adopting in the post-Covid19 time, the less problematic would it be. Nonetheless, the central government need to take holistic efforts in coordination with the provincial governments for both current-and-post-Covid19 period and not to take solo flight as witnessed during lockdown situation. It created more confusion than helped to contain the crisis. |
#2
|
||||
|
||||
Hello! Below I've shared my thoughts and comments on your piece of writing. I hope you find it useful. [KEY: RED= remove, GREEN= Additions, BRACKETS= Comments]
Covid-19 continues to wreak (spelling error. Should be wreck) havoc across the world taking heavy toll on human lives, disrupting everyday-life, and causing heavy (change the adjective since you already used heavy once before in the same sentence. Also lives and life occur very close to one another as well. It's not wrong but it makes the sentence difficult to read. Sentences should flow and not be jarring) damage to the economy. The deadly virus is one of the rarest (It is actually not all that rare. Pandemics have happened before and at worse scales. Remember the Black Plague? Killing about 40-60% of the population of Europe before all was said and done. It swept through the rest of the world too. Then the Spanish Flu occured which bears a lot of similarities to the current situation and was aggravated by the fact that they had just wrapped up a world war! If you want to make such a claim- back it up. How do you know it's so important? Support it with at least one argument. Sure it's too soon to actually predict much of anything but take examples from history and similar circumstances and how human beings changed. Take a look at Literature to see how writers view pandemics and how it affects us. Suggested examples: The Masque of the Red Death by Edgar Allan Poe is a really short short story and an interesting commentary on the inevitability of death. The Decameron by Giovanni Boccaccio is another great read and also helps us take a look at social distancing measures of the 14th century and how it affected the people especially the youth. The Plague by Albert Camus would definitely point you towards the right direction about the philosophical, cultural and social impact of such events and The Stand by Stephan king would definitely give you a wider perspective and make you realise just how much worse this could have been. ) occurrences in the human history that will have changed everything for ever. By the time it will be contained, it would have affected human thinking processes, state’s modus operandi, crime rate, etc. There is a need for the governments around the world to be well prepared even for the post-Covid19 period in advance as part of damage control exercise. (The word "exercise" sounds off here. Damage control itself is fine. "Part of" should be removed as well.) (NOTE: I will review the rest of the paragraphs one by one if you would like. You've written quite an interesting article, it just needs a little fine tuning. Overall it actually covers a lot of aspects and does it's job well.) |
The Following User Says Thank You to aishalam For This Useful Post: | ||
LifeAdventure (Wednesday, May 06, 2020) |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
1. I am extremely grateful for your sincerity which can be witnessed the way you have checked just one single paragraph helping me to understand everything in detail including appropriate usages, examples, etc. Honestly speaking, I am finding it difficult to choose appropriate words to express my gratitude to you for such meticulous read with the sole purpose of helping me so that I could improve. 2. To clarify for my understanding, can't we use "one of the rarest for such occurrence keeping in view the fact it had been declared pandemic with magnitude to cause damage to economies, human lives, etc. at the global level. It is almost unthinkable in present era that world would came to a standstill. In other words, it seems like clock has stopped for a while. In that backdrop, while equating the pandemic with the Black Plague and Spanish Flu. Isn't that okay to use "one of the rarest". 3. I would be extremely grateful if you would kindly check the remaining part as well. Also, please do correct me wherever needed even if there is article mistake. Regards, |
#4
|
||||
|
||||
Hello. I apologize for the late response. My cat passed away today so it has been draining. Anyway I'm glad you found my comments useful. I've addressed your comment in parts below;
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Best regards |
The Following User Says Thank You to aishalam For This Useful Post: | ||
LifeAdventure (Thursday, May 07, 2020) |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
1. First and foremost, please accept my condolences for the passing away of your cat. May you get its replacement soon! 2. I am impressed the way you thoroughly and critically analyse my writings. For instance, you highlighted spelling mistakes, appropriate usages, factually if valid or otherwise argument, etc. To put it in other words, its like 360 analysis of writ-ups. 3. Though i have not attended any academy for preparation, but taken demos, i came to the realisation that joining academy will be of no use to me. I am learning more from this forum than i could have learnt from academies. To substantiate, guidance of the seniors from this forum like you. 4. Have you taken Css? I have appeared in CSS 2020. I did appear in PCS (Sindh) 2018 failed in Essay. Reappeared in PCS again 2019 waiting for result. Will be appearing again in PCS 2020 to be hold after the normalisation of lockdown/pandemic. 5. I hope you will continue helping me like checking my write-ups and providing guidance accordingly. |
#6
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
I'd be happy to try and help to the best of my abilities. I'd love to give more overall thoughts for future writeups if you'd really want them. My email address is in my bio here so if that's more convenient feel free to reach out there. Let's see how this works out first. |
The Following User Says Thank You to aishalam For This Useful Post: | ||
LifeAdventure (Friday, May 08, 2020) |
#7
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
Greatful for the help. I have sent you email. |
#8
|
||||
|
||||
That's aching! @aishalam
Quote:
|
#9
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
It was time when People like Anum Zara, A Zee, Raz and some other seniors were quite active, but they are no more. I hope Csps of this forum will become active again. @aishalam. Sister, thanks you are helping us. Would you like to post your essay outline along with introduction that helped you pass the exam. Thanks |
#10
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
1. Introduction 2. Classrooms: Historical and contemporary examples of their role in nation building (Examples of student participation in Pakistan movement, and for the current examples US Parkland shooting survivors rallies on gun control, Swedish schoolgirl Greta Thunberg and her voicing climate change concerns and the French yellow vest movement which is also now being taken up by students for school reforms) 3. Role of classroom in nation building 3.1 socialization 3.2 personality development 3.3 evolution and development of ideas and values 3.4 creativity and innovation 3.5 Transmission of knowledge 4. Hallmarks of a conducive learning environment 4.1 Child-centered 4.2 Participative 4.3 Holistic development 5. Case study of Pakistan: How our classrooms are perpetuating our social, political and economic problems. 6. Remedial measures 7. Conclusion I had gone into the exam hall thinking I would attempt an economics topic (my degree is in economics) but the only topic that applied was so general that I was sure everyone was going to attempt that- that would make it hard to make original points and stand out so I went with this topic because it was far from being controversial and I knew that I could get a lot of arguments and examples in. |
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Seniors please check my expansion and highlight my mistakes | hyder zeeshan | Expansion/Paragraph | 2 | Wednesday, August 27, 2014 04:09 PM |
Seniors please check my expansion and highlight my mistakes | hyder zeeshan | Expansion/Paragraph | 3 | Monday, August 25, 2014 02:50 PM |
Seniors please check my expansion and highlight my mistakes | hyder zeeshan | Grammar-Section | 0 | Sunday, August 24, 2014 12:58 AM |
Required VU sociology Notes by Dr. Anwar | shrd | Sociology | 6 | Saturday, February 23, 2013 11:40 AM |