Agreed.

Can you kindly share your precis?

I don't remember my exact precis but the salient features are:

1. I wrote in third person (author).

2. I didn't mention all those detailed examples (Tomahawks etc.) in my precis.

3. I didn't mention 'George' by name and just wrote something like 'local resident'.

4. I summed up George's lengthy description of what village people do in off season in a line.

5. I mentioned the Game but didn't go into the details of the types of entertainment, towards the end of the precis.

6. My title was simplistic: 'A Trip to Cherokee'.

7. Overall, the precis was in past tense.


The mistakes I made are:

1. I called John a 'friend'. In my opinion, there was no reason/need. I could just write 'the author and John' or even better not mention John at all, as he wasn't an important part of the passage.

2. I included in the end something like 'John looked forward to more exciting visits in the future'. Again, I think this information was not important to precis.

3. My precis was 124 words.

4. There are other small issues that make my precis weak at places.

__________________
SR

I don't see there is anything for the examiner to penalize you. It's a pretty decent precis. It was essentially a narration so your precis will have to include slightly otherwise irrelevant details.

This is my precis:

Title: A vacation trip to Cherokee

The writer wanted to go to an exciting and uncommon destination for enjoying his vacations. He readily agreed when his friend John suggested going to Cherokee. In Cherokee, they visited Quella Boundary, a picturesque mountaneous town. The town offered the tourists a glimpse into its past by displaying eighteenth century traditional Indian lifestyles. The natives of the town assisted them in locating the souvenir shop. They were pleasantly surprised when they met a street vendor named George, who conversed in fluent English with them. George took them to lunch, where they found out that the natives do not rely on trade alone for their income. Consequently, they have to look out for other ways to support themselves during off-peak seasons. Bingo Weekend provides a healthy opportunity to earn that extra income. Finally, the writer's trip concluded by visiting the town's museum, which contained a lot of typical Cherokee historical artifacts. Visiting Cherokee was a memorable experience, leaving the writer to desire for much more.

Unfortunately, I overlooked the rubric and wrote 1/3rd of the passage's words.

The only important stuff in this passage in terms of writing a precis was the following:

1) Qualla Boundary is a hilly town.
2) It offers historical heritage.
3) Its residents rely on Bingo Weekend during the off-peak season for their subsistence.
4) Its museum has historical things.

So, keeping this in mind, this is the best preci that I have found up till now:

Cherokee is a region in the state of Oklahoma. Its town Qualla boundary offers many attractions for the tourists. The indigenous people have preserved ancient Indian lifestyle. There are some souvenir shops in the town as well where traditional hats and tents can be found. During off season when there are few tourists they organize a festival called bingo weekend every Friday afternoon where there are many games for the people. It is another source of income for the people. Qualla boundary also has a museum where traditional artefacts such as hand woven oak baskets and sculptures of animals are on display.

But a lot of folks have emphasized the need for giving a tinge of narration to the passage. And, well, most importantly, it depends on the whims of the examiner. I met a commoner a week ago and he said that he wrote in the first person and passed the exam. So, more than the first or third person, the mood of the examiner will be the final determinant of the fate of the candidates. A lot of candidates failed in 2012 and 2014. And they had good English comprehension skills. They didn't exceed the word limits. They didn't write in the first person. And yet, they managed to fail the exam.

Kaash examiner "mechanical marks" bhi award kare aur preci per paper decide na kare.

But there are a few problems in my favourite precis:

1) the inclusion of examples such as oak trees, tents, etc. And this is a huge mistake. Examples are a big, big no!

2) the elimination of "narration".

3) Slight lack of flow.

Bro, the precis you written in exam is much better than the one you are supposing now the best, though you have unnecessarily included a list of objects. Your first precis is complete while the latter doesnt include the contents from the first paragraph. In precis the first paragraph was crucial because it provided a context for the whole excerpt.

__________________
winners never quit, and quitters never win.

Sorry for the typos:

And they had good English comprehension skills. They DID exceed the word limits. They DID write in the first person. And yet, they managed to fail the exam.

Thank you, brother. I agree laikan bass word limits exceed karne ki waja se thora dar hai mujhe. Kindly pray for me.

May Allah bless us all and do what is best for us.

I dont think so examiner would be counting the words of each precis on calculator. I recall conversation with one of my friends who had given a sentence long title to precis in 2014 and was worried about it, yet he cleared the exam and secure 57th position.

__________________
winners never quit, and quitters never win.

http://www.cssforum.com.pk/709910-post125.html

__________________
winners never quit, and quitters never win.

This precis is unique and doesn't include your typical 'author/I' issue. It may just be the only winner this time, in which case, we are all doomed (God forbid).

Yes, the harder we try to think about the right solution, the more complicated it gets. Only the examiner can tell us what's correct now.

I wholeheartedly agree with you on the mechanical marks thing. They can save a lot of us.

Although, its my essay that gives me sleepless nights...

__________________
SR