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Default Kindly asses my outline and tell me that have i wrote the sufficient points ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by mahmood View Post
Introduction
9/11 and us invasion in afganistan
Present position
Us failure
Is war on terror limited to Afghanistan?
War on terror in iraq Syria Middle East
ISIS

this has nothing to do with topic. why this?
Human Rights violation

American violation of Humanitarian Laws
Attrocities in Afghanistan
Poverty
Inequalities
Food shortage
Refuge Camps
Internal Displacement
Killings of Innocents
peshawar Incident
Killings of Children
Intolerance
Sectarian Killings
Shikarpur Incident

can they be termed human rights violations??

No freedom of Expression
Media under threat
Child Abuse
Women victimizations
Minorities Under threat
Hurdles in admistration of Justice
Bad Governace
Hurdles in implementation of law

again, can they be termed human rights violations caused by war on terror??

Remedies:

21 Amendment
Military Courts (really? aint they creating another problem by not giving a fair trial?)
Zarb E Azab
Banned On Capital punishments uplifted

Conclusion

In my view most of this was irrelevent. it seems like you had tried to reach the word limit and have not understood what the topic demanded.




Introduction
sep 9/11 attack on U.S
U.S INVASION OF AFGHANISTAN
U.S INVASION OF IRAQ

HUMAN RIGHTS.
Freedom of conscience
Freedom of thought
Freedom of expression in a sense that consoles collective liberty
freedom of movement
freedom of beliefs

How war on terror has has contributed to the growing abuse of human rights

Missing persons
stern laws (Protection of Pakistan Ordinance,PATRIOT Act,LAWS ENACTED BY ARAB COUNTRIES)
bar on freedom of expression (ARAB STATES)
bar on freedom of movement
Indiscriminate killings (drones, military operations)



BUT

Terrorism is itself an excess so, its eradicating measures will also be excessive

CONCLUSION.

Please s seniors check my outline. Criticism will be highly appreciated.

A. Introduction
B. What motivates man to raise himself in a hierarchy system
1: Economic rise
2: Social respect
3: Dream to lead.
4: To avoid the orders of higher level management.
5: To fulfill basic needs of life( discussed motivation theory of maslow)
C: What means he adapts that raises his level of incompetence.
again I gave 6 points here but don't remember exactly
1: Misses his natural capabilities
2: Get involved in unnecessary arguments
3: Rise in jealousy factor.
4: Tries to find short cuts.
D: Hierarchy system can be beneficial for org if few steps are taken
gave here few suggestions to make the system effective.
E. Conclusion.

I too, did same topic but in completely different way. After seeing yours I have become afraid that who did rightly. Please seniors help out

1. The war on terror has contributed to the growing abuse of human rights

Outline:
1. Introduction
2. The war on terror or the tug-of-war for power among the big powers
3. Has the war on terror contributed to human rights violations? Yes
a) Afghanistan
b) Iraq
c) Syria
d) Palestine
e) Pakistan
4. How war on terror is violating Human Rights?
a) Freedom of Movement is curbed
b) People dying of food crises
c) Political victimization: Innocent Killings
d) Use of chemical and biological weapons
e) the killings of media persons
f) political vacuum: detaching people’s democratic rights

5. Views of international scholars
a) Noam Chomsky
b) Stephen Cohen
c) Mouin Rabbani
d) Reza Aslan

6. How to restrict this war of terror to avoid the violations of human rights?
a) The big powers should shun their expansionist designs
b) The United Nations can play a viable role
c) Collaborative efforts by states to restrain aggression
d) Addressing people’s socio-economic problems
7. Conclusion

Essay: start was like this:

“When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled”

Two wrongs cannot make a right. War and terror are the two wrongs that have wreaked havoc since the dawn of modern history, creating violation of human rights and fundamental freedoms.

• This was my start. Then:
• I quoted David Frost’s article in which he mentioned that people are dying on account of food crisis created by the warring armies in Anbar and Ramaday provinces of Iraq
• I also quoted a report of the British Observatory based in Syria which mentioned how people are killed mercilessly.
• I also mentioned an article of Thomas Vardy “not weapons but chemical weapons” in which he describes that people are killed but killed in a gruesome manner. I remember I wrote a line “They are killed, killed and mutilated. How shocking the scenes of those innocent civilian killings are! They are killed because they are devoid of right to live, they are divested of the right to live with dignity.
• I also mentioned that morality is mere a dream in international politics. When it takes off, the political arenas seem fraught with horror and terror resulting in the violations of human rights.
• Then quoted Professor Chomsky : “ To curb terrorism is easy: Stop participating in it to ensure human rights”
• Quoted Ban ki-Moon as well while describing what ought to be done to restrain the onslaughts on human rights: “Bombs can kill terrorists but not terrorism. It is good governance and democracy that do along with maintaining human rights”
• While describing the political vacuum created due to the war on terror that has deprived people of their democratic rights and freedoms, I mentioned Reza Aslan’s book “not god but God” in which he says: “ When big powers fight, political vacuum takes birth which is soon filled by undemocratic forces that check human rights”
•

I have attempted Essay paper 4 times in my life, 2 times CSS and 2 times PMS, and by the grace of God passed it every time so just to bring some conceptual clarity to your minds, in an essay you are basically addressing an issue which is never complete without a Cause-Impact & Remedial analysis, so if your essay is missing these basic components, then luck is the sole factor that can get you through

Please do evaluate my essay

in a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetency

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please s seniors check my outline. Criticism will be highly appreciated.

A. Introduction
B. What motivates man to raise himself in a hierarchy system
1: Economic rise
2: Social respect
3: Dream to lead.
4: To avoid the orders of higher level management.
5: To fulfill basic needs of life( discussed motivation theory of maslow)
C: What means he adapts that raises his level of incompetence.
again I gave 6 points here but don't remember exactly
1: Misses his natural capabilities
2: Get involved in unnecessary arguments
3: Rise in jealousy factor.
4: Tries to find short cuts.
D: Hierarchy system can be beneficial for org if few steps are taken
gave here few suggestions to make the system effective.
E. Conclusion.

The main concern of this essay is about finding the shortcomings in Hierarchy system and suggesting recommendations and improvements. A number of examples could be quoted from various robust hierarchies like that of Army and other progressive public and private institutions, but when it comes to essay nothing is ever enough. The scheme and approach of your essay seems quite auspicious. You should remain hopeful.

Can you share the outline of your essay ?

__________________
There Is Only One Thing That Makes a Dream Impossible To Achieve - The Fear Of Failure

lolz, it was about 6 pages, would surely do when I find time !!!..

I

Well there was a typo error, I doubted the statement but didnt bother to correct the statement. It must have been luxyury of predecesdors becomes the necessity of successors. Anyways
My outline was...
1Introduction
1.1Luxury predecessors becomes neccessity of successors
2Luxury things which have become necessity already
2.1 Car
2.2 mobile
2.3 calculator
2.4 computee
3 Luxury things which are in the process of becoming necessity
3.1 Ups (if energy crisis continues)
3.2Facebook
3.3Youtube
3.4Linkedin
4Negative impacts of this trend
4.1 Alienation from culture ( americanization)
4.2 Karl marx theory (a society of have and have nots)
4.3 Theory of asabia i guess
4.4 Overdependence on luxury items
Conclusion