Assalam-O-Alaikum to all!

I want to discuss here regarding recent practices of dower(Haq Mahr), what do u think if it has become a problem?

What is its social impact? Which kind of social problems people are facing through dower? (in case of high amount)

And what factors are behind that practices? What do you think we people are following trends set by upper class or it is matter of show off?
I just want to know different views of you people, come foreword and give your view please, people from different culture and remote areas are preferred as well to give your opinion.

Thanks,

Zoyee

As per my my observation the issue ov unnecessarily high demands of Dower is mainly present where the girl is so called well educated n often a working women(Now dont get me as opponent of women education n working, This may well be the case wid even one who z nt but im talking of my personal experience(i.e is of ppl around me, im still single) )
Now comin 2 pt dey ask fr such high dower coz even wen dey r initiating a new relationship, dey at da back of dere mind have doubts regarding its durability. Now ppl might say tht actually those women r aware of dere rights nd know how 2 protect it. But i differ. I mean what i perceive of tht is they actually are putting tht 10 million rupees an alternative to dere relation( I quoted 10 million coz it was fixed recently in my czn'z wedding but it might be way higher in some ceses) How can u be sincere abt a relation wen u start it wid an element of distrust. I would expect a learned female (nd for me learned nt necessarily means a Masters degree holder. I,ve seen many Masterz degree holders men n women who actually are ........ ) but again fr me i learned female will be more capable of keeping smooth all her relation nd doesnt really need a protection of a Dower going upto millionz.. Relations r priceless let them be!!!

Regards

__________________
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

You were not born a winner, and you were not born a loser. You are what you make yourself be.

@ Zoyee;

Asalam-o-Alikum,

According to my knowledge, I think Dower is not a problem but a precaution against injustice to women. In contemporary world, Few groups criticize high dower issue and consider it as a burden and injustice to man to pay dower. But if we look into our Past.
During the reign of Khulfa-I-Rashdeen, When Hazrat Umar (R.A) decided in meeting to cap the limit of dower, at that point, Few women present in that meeting, criticize Hazrat Umar (R.A) and said, " Who You are decide to Cap limits of Dower, even When Allah and His Rasool (PBUH) never talked about any such thing." At that point Hazrat Umer (R.A) took his decision back and give decree not to cap the limit of dower.

According yo Padwazi, Dower can be set on the persons of customs, tradition or her own qualities, which includes Beauty, Intellectuality, modesty and knowledge. It varies from any other individual due to distinct customs and treditions in pakistan. However, believing dower setting at high demand is not following upper class traditions, but it is to provide aegis to woman to protect her life with dignity.

Indeed, Dower is problem only to those, who wants to betray woman trust, to cheat women feelings and hurt the modesty of women. Otherwise, Dower is not a problem to any good muslim. It is a protection of female to protect her from any injustice. Besides Muslim law and Family Ordinance 1961 also protects women right though arbitarion council (Union Council).


Thats What i Know . And will write if i get this thing in exam.
See you soon Zoyee.


FEEAMANALLAH,

__________________
كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَآئِقَةُ الْمَوْتِ - Every Soul Must Have The Taste Of Death

@ S_Ranjha

So-called educated girls shouldn't demand for a big dower to prove themselves learned but I can't understand that why the actual educated boys don't hesitate to recieve a huge dowry.

__________________
If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or objects.
-- Albert Einstein

@ Nageen

Well i tried 2 answer what was asked nd tht didnt included da pt u raised. Secondly if u think i was wrong in saying tht u can always differ coz im no authority. I just told as i see it. I belong to a Landlord family where most peoples had traditional ideas n custom until da generation of my father when ppl start 2 get into education nd dere minds were bit alter nd now da generation includin me is more towards enlightened modernization. So i have seen both kind of attitudes the traditional one as well as contemporary one. Nd i,ve come upto da conclusion the our traditional social fabric is much more effective in ensuring thee just treatment of women in relation than high dower. I can remem the times wen some women complained of injustice by his man n da whole family even da family of tht very man was out dere backing her stance nd ensuring her all rights. But the Actual educated gulz of 2day are fed up of tht social fabric nd think of tht like a unbearable burden n look out fr protection means like high dower but it hasnt paid off.

as far as ur pts regarding dowry z concerned tht again in my family although most of time u r ryt tht dowry is huge but tht has nothing 2 do wid so called educated boyz. Tht s more out of our culture but the thing i wud like 2 mention contrary 2 ur perception atleast in our culture it z never demanded. Actually the person or family even demanding it through equivocal means is considered cheap n disgraced. Here i just told u what happenns nd may nt necessarily be defending it. The dowry must be as per customs traditions nd contemporary circumstances of both parties 2 marriage.

My brother above tried 2 gave some criteria mentioned regarding dower in islamic law. " Dower can be set on the persons of customs, tradition or her own qualities, which includes Beauty, Intellectuality, modesty and knowledge" nd i guess it also includes family background as well. Right they are but keeping in view all these may be da guls frm my family are entitled to dower of millionz but they actually dnt go 4 it nd rather go for protection of our social fabric n traditionz nd wen u put same criteria 2 many of the gulz who want to fix dere dowers in millions actually dun even qualify fr some lacs

Again my views nd no offence meant. Anyone can differ

Regards

__________________
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

You were not born a winner, and you were not born a loser. You are what you make yourself be.

That point wasn't in the question, it came in my mind after your reply.
And this 'traditional social fabric' may be more effective in your family not everywhere.If other family members back a woman it doesn't imply that she should deprive herself of her right(dower).According to my knowledge the maximum amount of dower isn't fixed in Islamic Law.So if someone can afford to give 10 millions then what's bad in it? yes, in most of the cases it provides protection in breaking up of relations ;this is my personal observation.

__________________
If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or objects.
-- Albert Einstein

@ All

I'l answer you all people, and will clear my question too, i am much busy, so see u tomorrow.



Zoyee

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Main ne Allah ko apne iradon ke tootne se pehchana ... !!

aoa all.njoying ur discussion.before going for the question must say what the dower is?n whats its purpose?it has two aspects:
a-religious(woman:mark of honour,Man:religious obligtion)
b-worldly(give it any meaning n purpose)
not only Dower,today,every right is practised to the prejudice of others n every duty performed concietedly n out f selfish motives.this fact has make the Dower a problem.
butthis is not to be worried abt.the benificiary of this right is the weakest sector f society who cn hardly enforce any f her rights.the problem n the point f worry is that the sector f socity who possess powers n who is the repository of these rights n from whom these rights flow is the hardest to convince to be decent in enforcing its own rights n exercising its own powers....
Regards Noor

__________________
Stop counting your problems rather raise for their solution and BEGIN JIHAD.

@ Nageen

Then may be da case is tht our personal xperiences have been much different. So we can leave it to more ppl views coz our one z obviously a limited one.
Now u said tht if anyone can afford it dere z nothhing bad in it. Then again my observation tells me wen i look cases other den my family tht quite often da dower fixed z way beyond the apparent means of the man. If we give it a more broader view we knw tht a marriage z basically a contract n as like any other contract the aggrieved party has the right of compensation but tht z decided on some criteria nd fr dower these r mentioned in islamic law. Now im nt against da concept of dower, tht has 2 b dere and it z dere fr a purpose. But tht has 2 meet certain criteria laid down nd i see lot ov ppl violating tht.

__________________
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

You were not born a winner, and you were not born a loser. You are what you make yourself be.

hehe.boht aasan he ye keh dena k jo afford kr skte hein wo dein .its not bad.i know its our sunnah to give dowry but u ppl try to see those girls who remain unmarried and their emotions got negative when they were not able to get married due to no availability of dowry.comments pass kr dena to boht aasan he