The dirty-tricks brigade

[Nonchalant]

The dirty-tricks brigade

By Kamran Shafi
Tuesday, 08 Sep, 2009


The ‘minus-one’ formula has not hurt Asif Zardari: it has only brought Yousuf Raza Gilani to his senses with the realisation that if there is no Asif there is no Yousuf.

IT has been hugely cathartic for the lay people of the Islamic Republic to hear anew the shenanigans of the most senior officials of our security establishment, from full generals to majors, spouted from their very own mouths.

Whilst there are many commentators advocating that the spooks who have suddenly crept out of the woodwork should hold their peace and not give their organisations, specially the Mother of All Agencies from whose bosom they all sprang, and the army, a bad name by washing their dirty linen in front of the whole world, I say ‘go on lads, more of it’.

In the hilarious words of P.G. Wodehouse, let the … hit the … because it is extremely important nay critical, that the pus is removed, once and for all. This country needs a new beginning and if it must tear itself apart to cleanse the deep, and now festering, wounds inflicted on it by those who consider themselves above all else, so be it.

Whilst it infuriates one to hear the sordid tales of yesteryear, sickening tales we knew well already, there are moments of utter hilarity as one sees the main players who laid the country low during their short and sorry stints on the stage of untrammelled and absolute power, try unsuccessfully to make a fool of the people. There was Gen Aslam Beg who, I am sorry to say belongs to my regiment, saying to his interviewer that he did not have even Rs150,000 in the bank.

This, sitting on a chair that must have cost Rs50,000, tens of crystal and other expensive doodads in the background, and in the foreground a jade piece that must have measured nine inches across, sitting on a carved table worth tens of thousands.

Which be as it may, why in heaven’s name do the ‘agencies’ behave in the way they do when all of the evidence suggests that not one of their nefarious acts achieved even one of their goals. Other than destabilising the country, making its people fight one another, hurting innocent people personally and generally giving the country a bad name of course.

The political leaders they set out to destroy came back stronger, despite their exertions of the meanest kind such as branding their current enemies’ ‘security risks’, such as casting the most personal aspersions. In the final analysis it is they, the ‘agencies’ that got egg on their faces and earned the opprobrium of the people.

Only the Rommels and the Guderians can answer the question; what we know from past and bitter experience is that they will not stop. Not even now, when their name has been dragged through the mud, not only in this poor country that has been at their mercy for most of its life, but across the world. Which in and of itself begs the question why they persist in doing the wrong thing. Partly this has to do with a closed mindset, one that friend Omar calls the ‘PMA’ mindset; partly it is wrong advice from people who live and thrive on conspiracies and dirty tricks and too-clever-by-half argy-bargy.

Look at the recent ‘minus-one’ formula that suddenly reared its head and was the main subject of talk shows across the land; look at the Jinnahpur controversy that fast followed on its heels; and then at the story of the ISI doling out money to set up the IJI to counter the PPP. Now who doesn’t know all of the above from years ago? What was the whole point of bringing up these past and closed transactions so to say, at this time?

The ‘minus-one’ formula has not hurt Asif Zardari: it has only brought Yousuf Raza Gilani to his senses with the realisation that if there is no Asif there is no Yousuf. The ISI story has not hurt Nawaz Sharif; it has only brought the ISI into disrepute and, by inference, the army. The Jinnahpur thingy likewise. If anything, all of this has brought the politicians closer as they realised that it was them against the establishment all over again.

Indeed, to make the point doubly clear, Nawaz Sharif has said in so many words that he respects the mandate of the PPP, that that party has the right to be in government for its full tenure and that he will do nothing to destabilise matters. As an aside, might one ask the president to do likewise.

But back to the dirty-tricks brigade. Who is advising it as it goes about bringing disgrace upon the country all over again? The name of Husain Haqqani, the bestest diplomat in the whole wide world and, it is alleged, a candidate for the top slot in a future caretaker set-up, popped up in the press just at the time that all of these ugly stories and rumours were beginning to fly.

It was said he, and we know him well, was in Dubai and then in Islamabad, flying on silent wings, whispering to listening ears. In bazaar gup there is mention of a house in F-6 where the Commando’s friends gather upon an evening and plot their next moves. Money is no problem it is said, everything is there for the asking.

May one beseech President Zardari another time: please Mr President, throw your all with the other political players. United you will stand; divided (may the Almighty forbid it) you will fall.

http://www.dawn.com/wps/wcm/connect/...ks-brigade-899