Missing persons !!!

[Silent Spectator]

‘MISSING’ PERSONS
[Dr Irfan Zafar, Islamabad]

The Supreme Court has directed the government to furnish details of Pakistanis handed over to the US. The court has been informed that 1,600 persons were missing in 2008 — of whom, 1,300 had been missing since 2006-07. Through the columns of this newspaper, I would request the honourable chief justice of Pakistan to trace two ‘missing’ persons who are very close and dear to the people of this country. Our beloved ex-president Pervez Musharraf and the ex-banker-cum-prime minister Shaukat Aziz have been missing since long. Last time the ex-president was seen singing the song “Lage re tou say lage, sajan sayan lage” (the clip can be watched on YouTube) while the ex-prime minister enjoyed the melody sitting among the audience. [The News International]

SET UP A NATIONAL LAUNDRY
[Asmaar Bilal Shaikh, Lahore]

Over the years, a number of commissions have been set up in the country, their fate known to everyone. It would still be pertinent to set up a Truth Commission in order to set the record straight. There is no harm in following others in good things they have done. If South Africa can make some headway towards creating national consensus on a set of issues, why can’t we? I am confident something positive would ultimately come out of this if we do. Those who think they are innocent of the crimes they are accused of and their hands are clean should appear voluntarily before such a commission and make their submissions. If they are alleged to be loan-defaulters, they should deposit the amount returning to the national kitty what was owed. The suggestion for setting up a Truth Commission is being made now due to the fact that the National Reconciliation Ordinance (NRO) has been struck off the law rolls by the apex court for being unconstitutional.

I think the criminals and defaulters who had availed of this ordinance but are now stuck again in the maze of legal proceedings should be given a fair chance to speak the truth, for once at least. Prominent nuclear scientist Dr Abdul Qadeer Khan and others who have held high offices and been involved in one or the other controversy should also appear before the proposed Truth Commission to make their submissions on the charges of omissions and commissions against them. Let this be an exercise in the ultimate national interest; the accused should confess their crimes, the defaulters should whiten their black money. [The Nation]

GOOD GOVERNANCE
[Dr Irfan Zafar, Islamabad]

China has a population of 1.338 billion and it has 27 ministers. India’s population is 1.166 billion and the number of its federal ministers is 32; the US has 307.21 million people with 15 ministers (or secretaries) while the UK has 61.11 million people with 22 ministers. Pakistan with a population of 176.24 million has 66 federal ministers. In short, good governance doesn’t need an army of ministers. For how long will our people continue to feed these parasites who are good for nothing?
[The News International]

HRH, FARZAND-E-DILPASAND-E-DAULAT-E-AMREEKA ...
[Nusrat Ali Qazilbash, Jhang]

During the Mughal era, whenever the Emperor visited a town, the people used to present him with gifts, usually in the form of jewels, horses and elephants, but sometimes, even havelis and palaces.
While graciously accepting these gifts, the Emperor used to reward his subjects with khil'ats (attires embroidered in gold threads), stretches of land, gardens and things like that. The history is repeating itself and we are going through a Mughal rule of a kind. So here is a suggestion on how our present-day Emperor, a new kind of Mughal, should reward his subjects. On President's current visit to Lahore, every Tom, Dick, Harry of the PPP posted big and small banners in front of the Governor's House with their names and pictures. I suggest the President should roll up these banners and take them along with him to Islamabad.

There he should unfold them all to see the names and pictures of his adherents, make a list and reward them all with plots in Islamabad, or give plum jobs in government to their children in police, customs or WAPDA. Some of these nice people should be posted as ambassadors abroad. The rest should be given lucrative assignments in which they could make money. [The Nation]

ZARDARI IN PUNJAB
[Dr Irfan Zafar, Islamabad]

President Zardari's recent speeches in Punjabi remind one of Lollywood actress Meera's English. One wonders why one must speak publicly in a language one is not good at.
[The News International]

‘11 IDIOTS’
[Dr Irfan Zafar, Islamabad]

Bollywood has recently released a blockbuster film by the name of ‘3 Idiots’. Looking at the performance of our national cricket team against Australia, it will not be out of place to request our own Lollywood to release a new film by the name of ‘11 Idiots’ to truly depict our ‘achievement.’ [Daily Times]

SADIQ AND AMEEN
[Dr Irfan Zafar, Islamabad]

The PPP and the ANP have called for the removal of words 'sadiq' and 'ameen' from Clause 62 of the Constitution. The demand was made at a meeting of the Parliamentary Committee on Constitutional Reforms. Excellent proposal, for what does a member of parliament have to do with 'sadaqat' and 'amanat'? [The News International]

THROWING EGGS
[Dr Irfan Zafar, Islamabad]

The cost of eggs has increased to Rs 112-120 per dozen in the retail market and the wholesale price has gone up to Rs 106. Ironically, the poor people of this country cannot even afford to throw eggs at the rulers now.
[Daily Times]

LICENCES FOR ARMS
[Pervez Hasan, Peshawar]

All those parliamentarians who were issued prohibited bore licences should now voluntarily quit the assemblies and join either the police or the Taliban. Pakistan Khappy. [The News International]

DIVORCE CAKE
[Dr Irfan Zafar, Islamabad]

While visiting a confectionary shop the other day I noticed, placed in a corner, a cake with a caption written in icing that said ‘Divorce Cake’. When inquired, the salesman replied that the demand for such cakes to ‘celebrate’ this occasion is much higher these days, hence they have added it to their menu. Certainly we are living in interesting times. [Daily Times]

LICENSED ARMS
[Manzur Qadir, Lahore]

Interesting statistics about the issue of 29,000 arms licences by the interior ministry in the last 10 months have been released. This means 2,900 licences were issued every month. Assuming there are four Sundays in a month, it will mean 111 licenses everyday. Given a seven-hour working day (from 8 to 3 pm) it will lead to 15 licences per hour, which means four licences per minute. This is yet another feather in the cap of the current government. [The News International]

BUDGET 2010
[Dr Irfan Zafar, Islamabad]

The way things are going in our country, in all likelihood the budget in the year 2020 will have the prices of two grains of rice for Rs 1, four grains of lentils for Rs 2, two drops of oil will cost around Rs 10 and one drop of milk for Rs 2 ‘only’. To add to it, whoever will buy all this stuff together, he will be allowed to smell pure ghee or will be shown the sight of a chicken. [Daily Times]
Regards