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Old Sunday, September 23, 2007
36thCommons's Avatar
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Arrow Competitive Tips to take the Competitive Exam (specially when baffled!)

1. Walk in, get the paper, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the invigilator, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture in every academy! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

2. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat until you find a lucky candidate, continue with the exam.

3. After you get the paper, call the invigilator over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him.

4. In case you don't get lucky,on the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop,start talking about what a jerk the invigilator's boss is.

6. Bring cheerleaders.

7. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

8. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science papers, try using Roman numerals.

9. Bring things to throw at the invigilator when he's not looking. Blame it on the person doing better than you.

10. Arrange a protest incase the paper's difficult.

11. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak with hands free,blue tooth and the likes in it.If they're smart enough to use jammers,pull out a white mask and spray sleeping gas in the hall!

12. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

13. Bring cheat sheets FROM ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting barred for life, too) and staple them to the exam with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

14. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

15. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

No one is listening,until you make a mistake !!
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The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to 36thCommons For This Useful Post:
amy (Saturday, September 29, 2007), Arcanerk (Friday, January 08, 2010), Arif Rao (Thursday, March 12, 2009), Call for Change (Saturday, July 20, 2013), Muhammad T S Awan (Monday, October 01, 2007), pisceankhan (Saturday, August 16, 2014), ravaila (Friday, September 18, 2009), Surmount (Thursday, June 26, 2008), Tehman Khan (Wednesday, June 05, 2013), very special 1 (Friday, July 19, 2013), zara86 (Saturday, April 26, 2008)

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