Nasrudin is a figure from the 13th century. There are tales and stories of Nasrudin all throughout the middle eastern world, from Turkey, Afghanistan, Iran, etc. You may hear his name as Hodja Nasrudin, which is the Turkish version. His character is that of a learned fool, or wiseman, and is left often for you to decide. On the surface of the stories, they are simple and funny. But if you look and listen deeper, you will learn how your actions play a very important role in our life, and of deeper truths. Here goes some of his stories:



HOW TO GET OUT OF TROUBLE:

A man had fallen between the rails in an Underground station when Nasrudin came along one afternoon. People were crowding around, all trying to get him out before a train ran him over.

They were shouting, 'Give me your hand!' But the man would not reach up.

The Mulla elbowed his way through the crowd and leant over to the man. 'Friend,' he said, 'what is your profession?'

'I am an income-tax inspector,' gasped the man.

'In that case,' said Nasrudin, 'take my hand!' The man immediately grasped the Mulla's hand and was hauled to safety.

Nasrudin turned to the open-mouthed audience. 'Never ask a tax man to give you anything, you fools,' he said, and walked away.

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GET THE FACTS STRAIGHT:

A guide was taking a party round the British Museum.

'This sarcophagus is five thousand years old.'

A bearded figure with a turban stepped forward. 'You are mistaken,' said Nasrudin, 'for it is five thousand and three years old.'

Everyone was impressed, and the guide was not pleased. They passed into another room.

'This vase', said the guide, 'is two thousand five hundred years old.'
'Two thousand five hundred and three,' intoned Nasrudin.

'Now look here,' said the guide, 'how can you date things so precisely ? I don't care if you do come from the East, people just don't know things like that.'

'Simple,' said Nasrudin. 'I was last here three years ago. That time you said the vase was two thousand five hundred years old.'

Moral: It's later than you think.

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WHAT'S LEFT:

Mulla Nasrudin went to a donkey market.

'Are you in the market for donkeys?' a merchant asked him.

'Yes,' said Nasrudin.

'What about one of these remarkably handsome beasts?'

'Just a minute,' said the Mulla, 'I want you to show me the worst donkeys you have.'

'Those are the worst.'

'Very well, then, I'll take the rest.'

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RADIO:

When Mulla Nasrudin arrived at the immigration barrier in London, the officer in charge asked:

'Where are you from?'

Nasrudin said: 'Grrrr ... The East.'

'Name?'

'Mulla, sssssss, Nasrrrrgrrudin!'

'Have you an impediment in your speech?'

'Wheee-eee -- no!'

'Then why do you talk like that?'

'Pip-pip-pip -- I grr -- learnt it from English By Radio!'



(That's enough for today! )

MYSELF:

A monk said to Nasrudin:

'I am so detached that I never think of myself, only of others.'

Nasrudin answered:

'I am so objective that I can look at myself as if I were another person; so I can afford to think of myself.'

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SATISFIED:

Nasrudin moved into a new house. The postman called and said:

'I hope that you are satisfied with the mail deliveries.'

'More than satisfied,' said Nasrudin, 'and, in fact, from tomorrow you may double my order.'

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I ONLY HOPE I'M ILL:

Nasrudin came late among the crowd waiting for the doctor's attentions.

He was repeating in a loud voice, over and over again:

'I hope I'm very ill, I hope I'm very ill!'

He so demoralized the other sufferers that they insisted on his going in to see the physician first.

'I only hope I'm very ill!' he shouted at the doctor.

'Why ?'

'I'd hate to think that anyone who feels like me was really fit and well!'

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IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE:

A practical joker challenged Nasrudin in the teahouse:

'People say you are very clever. But I bet you a hundred gold pieces you can't fool me!'

'I can, just wait for me,' said Nasrudin, and walked out.

Three hours later, the man was still waiting for Nasrudin and his trick. Finally he conceded that he had been fooled. He went to the Mulla's house and put a bag of gold as his forfeit through the window. Nasrudin was lying on his bed, planning his trick. He heard the chink of coins, found the bag and counted the gold.

'Good,' he said to his wife, 'kind destiny has sent me something to pay my bet with if I lose. Now all I have to do is to think out some stratagem to fool the joker who is, no doubt impatiently, awaiting me in the teahouse.'

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__________________
Regards,
P.R.

One day Nasruddin had invited a visiting scholar to his house for a meal. Upon the self-important visiting scholar's arrival at Nasruddin's house, the scholar knocked and knocked. No answer, he looked through the windows, no-one there. The scholar waited, and as he waited, he became angrier and angrier. "Why, doesn't he know who I am" , "I am so and so and who does he think he is to keep me waiting", the scholar thundered as he stomped around Nasruddin's courtyard. FInally, he became so angry he grabbed a pencil and scribbled on his doorway, "IDIOT!"

Well, around about 2 o'clock, Nasruddin returned home and suddenly remembered! He RAN back to the marketplace shouting for the scholar when he spotted him shortly.

"Oh, I am so sorry, please forgive me, I remembered our appointment when I saw your name written on my door"

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THEY DON'T WORK:

An engineer was fixing a bell outside a house. Mulla Nasrudin came by, stopped and asked:

'What is that thing?'

'Fire alarm'.

'I've seen them before -- they don't work,' said the Mulla.

'What do you mean ?'

'The bell rings all right, but the fire burns just the same.'

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Once, the people of The City invited Mulla Nasruddin to deliver a khutba. When he got on the minbar (pulpit), he found the audience was not very enthusiastic, so he asked "Do you know what I am going to say?" The audience replied "NO", so he announced "I have no desire to speak to people who don't even know what I will be talking about" and he left.

The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day. This time when he asked the same question, the people replied "YES" So Mullah Nasruddin said, "Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste any more of your time" and he left.

Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mullah to speak the following week. Once again he asked the same question - "Do you know what I am going to say?" Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered "YES" while the other half replied "NO". So Mullah Nasruddin said "The half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the other half" and he left!

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A group of philosophers traveled far and wide to find, and, contemplated for many years, the end of the world but could not state a time for its coming. Finally they turned to Mullah Nasruddin and asked him: "Do you know when the end of the world will be?" "Of course," said Mullah Nasruddin , "when I die, that will be the end of the world." "When you die? Are you sure?" "It will be for me at least," said Mullah Nasruddin. (Superb answer!!!)

__________________
Regards,
P.R.

AUTOMATION:

The management had called a mass-meeting of all employees.

'My friends,' said the managing director, 'I have to announce that, as from a month hence, this factory is to go over to total automation.'

There was a gasp from the whole audience.

'All processes will be carried out by machines. This will mean that the work is done better, more quickly and more profitably.'

'What about us?' someone called out.

'There is no cause for alarm. You will be paid as usual, with annual increments. You will continue to have the same subsidized canteen and sports facilities. All you will have to do is to come in on Fridays to collect your pay.'

Nasrudin, a union official, stood up.

'Not every Friday, I hope?' (So he wants a holiday on Friday!)

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COSTLY:

Nasrudin opened a booth with a sign above it:

TWO QUESTIONS ON ANY
SUBJECT ANSWERED FOR £5.

A man who had two very urgent questions handed over his money, saying:

'Five Pounds is rather expensive for two questions, isn't it?'

'Yes,' said Nasrudin, 'and the next question, please?'

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One day Mullah Nasruddin lost his ring down in the basement of his house, where it was very dark. There being no chance of his finding it in that darkness, he went out on the street and started looking for it there. Somebody passing by stopped and enquire: "What are you looking for, Mullah Nasruddin ? Have you lost something?" "Yes, I've lost my ring down in the basement." "But Mullah Nasruddin , why don't you look for it down in the basement where you have lost it?" asked the man in surprise. "Don't be silly, man! How do you expect me to find anything in that darkness!"

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Mullah Nasruddin and his wife came home one day to find the house burgled. Everything portable had been taken away. "It's all your fault," said his wife, "for you should have made sure that the house was locked before we left." The Neighbor took up the chant: "You did not lock the windows," said one. "Why did you not expect this?" said another. "The locks were faulty and you did not replace them," said a third. "Just a moment," said Nasruddin, "surely I am not the only one to blame?" "And who should we blame?" they shouted. "What about the thieves?" said Nasruddin. "Are they totally innocent?" (No, they are the one to be blamed!)

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__________________
Regards,
P.R.

Mullah Nasruddin was unemployed and poor but somehow he got little money to eat beans and pilaf at a cheap restaurant. He ate and examined walking people outside with the corner of the eye. He noticed a long, handsome swashbuckler (bully man) behind crowd. The Man was well dressed from head to foot, with velvet turban, silver embroidered vest, silk shirt, satin baggy-trousers and golden scimitar (short curved sword). Mullah Nasruddin pointed the man and asked restaurant keeper, "Who is that man over there!" "He is Fehmi Pasha's servant, answered restaurant keeper." Mullah Nasruddin sighed from far away, looked at the sky and said: "Oh, my Good Lord! Look at that Fehmi Pasha's servant and look at your own servant, here."

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One day Nasruddin was taking a walk in his village, when several of his neighbors approached him. "Nasruddin Hoja!" they said to him, "you are so wise and holy! Please take us as your pupils to teach us how we should live our lives, and what we should do!" Nasruddin paused, then said "Alright; I will teach you the first lesson right now. The most important thing is to take very good care of your feet and sandals; you must keep them clean and neat at all times." The neighbors listened attentively until they glanced down at his feet, which were in fact quite dirty and shod in old sandals that seemed about to fall apart. "But Nasruddin Hoja," said one of them, "your feet are terribly dirty, and your sandals are a mess! How do you expect us to follow your teachings if you don't carry them out yourself?" "Well," replied Nasruddin, "I don't go around asking people how I should live my life either, do I?"

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One day Mullah Nasruddin went to the market and bought a fine piece of meat. On the way home he met a friend who gave him a special recipe for the meat. Mullah Nasruddin was very happy. But then, before he got home, a large crow stole the meat from Mullah Nasruddin's hands and flew off with it. "You thief!" Mullah Nasruddin angrily called after departing crow. "You have stolen my meat! But you won't enjoy it; I've got the recipe!"

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One day Nasruddin went to a banquet. As he was dressed rather shabbily, no one let him in. So he ran home, put on his best robe and fur coat and returned. Immediately, the host came over, greeted him and ushered him to the head of an elaborate banquet table. When the food was served, Nasruddin took some soup with spoon and pushed it to the his fur coat and said, Eat my fur coat, eat! It's obvious that you're the real guest of honor today, not me!
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__________________
Regards,
P.R.

really u all are amazing peoples i like it to say well done

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we are punch for the enemies!

A neighbor who Nasruddin didn't like very much came over to his compound one day. The neighbor asked Nasruddin if he could borrow his donkey. Nasruddin not wanting to lend his donkey to the neighbor he didn't like told him, "I would love to loan you my donkey but only yesterday my brother came from the next town to use it to carry his wheat to the mill to be grounded. The donkey sadly is not here."

The neighbor was disappointed. But he thanked Nasruddin and began to walk away.

Just as he got a few steps away, Mullah Nasruddin's donkey, which was in the back of his compound all the time, let out a big bray.

The neighbor turned to Nasruddin and said, "Mullah Sahib, I thought you told me that your donkey was not here.

Mullah Nasruddin turned to the neighbor and said, "My friend, who are you going to believe? Me or the donkey?"

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Nasruddin opened a booth with a sign above it:

Two Questions On Any Subject Answered For Only 100 Silver Coins

A man who had two very urgent questions handed over his money, saying:

- A hundred silver coins is rather expensive for two questions, isn't it?

- Yes, said Nasruddin, and the next question, please?

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At a gathering where Mullah Nasruddin was present, people were discussing the merits of youth and old age. They had all agreed that, a man's strength decreases as years go by. Mullah Nasruddin dissented.

- I don't agree with you gentlemen, he said. In my old age I have the same strength as I had in the prime of my youth.

- How do you mean, Mullah Nasruddin? asked somebody. Explain yourself.

- In my courtyard, explained Mullah Nasruddin, there is a massive stone. In my youth I used to try and lift it. I never succeeded. Neither can I lift it now.

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That was the time Mullah Nasruddin's family was very poor.

One day Nasruddin 's wife woke him in the middle of the night and whispered,

- Nasruddin, There is a thief in the kitchen!

- Shhh... Stupid woman! replied Nasruddin. Let him be. Perhaps he find something then we seize it!
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__________________
Regards,
P.R.

Nasruddin was looking at the image of the moon in a well. He thought it was a recompense to take out the moon from the well. Therefore, he threw a rope inside the well and swung it a few times. Incidentally, the tip of the rope got caught to a big stone. He tried to take the rope out. Hence he pulled it with a lot of force. The rope tore off and he fell on his back to the ground. When he looked at the sky, he saw the moon and said, “Doesn’t matter. My efforts were not wasted. Though I faced a lot of difficulties, I finally succeeded to rescue the moon.”

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One day Mullah Nasruddin went to market to buy new clothes. First he tested a pair of trousers. He didn't like the trousers and he gave back them to the shopkeeper. Then he tried a robe which had same price as the trousers. Mullah Nasruddin was pleased with the robe and he left the shop. Before he climbed on the donkey to ride home he stopped by the shopkeeper and the shop-assistant.

- You didn't pay for the robe, said the shopkeeper.

- But I gave you the trousers instead of the robe, isn't it? replied Mullah Nasruddin .

- Yes, but you didn't pay for the trousers, either! said the shopkeeper.

- But I didn't buy the trousers, replied Mullah Nasruddin. I am not so stupid to pay for something which I never bought.

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One afternoon when Nasruddin was very hungry. he started swallowing out of a hot pot. His throat, gullet and stomach were burnt. He stood up and started running. They asked "why are you running?" "Please get some water soon, and pour it on my body because a fire has started in my stomach". said Nasruddin.

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On a frigid and snowy winter day Mullah Nasruddin was having a chat with some of his friends in the local coffee house. Mullah Nasruddin said that cold weather did not bother him, and in fact, he could stay, if necessary, all night without any heat.

- We'll take you up on that, Mullah Nasruddin . they said. If you stand all night in the village square without warming yourself by any external means, each of us will treat you to a sumptuous meal. But if you fail to do so, you will treat us all to dinner.

- All right it's a bet, Mullah Nasruddin said.

That very night, Mullah Nasruddin stood in the village square till morning despite the bitter cold. In the morning, he ran triumphantly to his friends and told them that they should be ready to fulfill their promise. But as a matter of fact you lost the bet, Mullah Nasruddin , said one of them. At about midnight, just before I went to sleep, I saw a candle burning a window about three hundred yards away from where you were standing. That certainly means that you warmed yourself by it.

- That's ridiculous, Mullah Nasruddin argued. How can a candle behind a window warm a person three hundred yards away?

All his protestations were to no avail, and it was decided that Mullah Nasruddin had lost the bet. Mullah Nasruddin accepted the verdict and invited all of them to a dinner that night at his home. They all arrived on time, laughing and joking, anticipating the delicious meal Mullah Nasruddin was going to serve them. But dinner was not ready. Mullah Nasruddin told them that it would be ready in a short time, and left the room to prepare the meal. A long time passed, and still no dinner was served.

Finally, getting impatient and very hungry, they went into the kitchen to see if there was any food cooking at all. What they saw, they could not believe. Mullah Nasruddin was standing by a huge cauldron, suspended from the ceiling. There was a lighted candle under the cauldron.

- Be patient my friends, Mullah Nasruddin told them. Dinner will be ready soon. You see it is cooking.

- Are you out of your mind, Mullah Nasruddin? they shouted. How could you with such a tiny flame boil such a large pot?

- Your ignorance of such matters amuses me, Mullah Nasruddin said. If the flame of a candle behind a window three hundred yards away can warm a person, surely the same flame will boil this pot which is only three inches away. (He is intelligent!!!)
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__________________
Regards,
P.R.

Nasruddin was throwing handfuls of bread all around his house. "What are you doing?" someone asked.

"Keeping the tigers away."

"But there are no tigers around here"

"Exactly. Effective, isn't it?"

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Nasruddin called at a large house for charity. The servant said,"My master is out."

"Very well,"said the Mulla; "even though he has not been able to contribute, please give your master a piece of advice from me. Say: 'Next time you go out, don't leave your face at the window-someone might steal it.'"

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Nasruddin, ferrying a pedant across a piece of rough water, said something ungrammatical to him. "Have you never studied grammar?" asked the scholar.
"No."

"Then half your life is wasted."

A few minutes later Nasruddin turned to the passenger.

"Have you ever learned how to swim?"

"No. Why?"

"Then all your life is wasted-we are sinking!"

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Mullah Nasruddin had visited a town for some personal business. It was a frigid winter night when he arrived. On the way to the inn a vicious looking dog barked at him. Mullah Nasruddin bent down to pick up a stone from the street to throw at the animal. He could not lift it, for the stone was frozen to the earth. "What a strange town this is! Mullah Nasruddin said to himself. They tie up the stones and let the dogs go free."
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__________________
Regards,
P.R.

As Mullah Nasrudin emerged form the mosque after prayers, abeggar sitting on the street solicited alms. The following conversation followed:

Are you extravagant? asked Nasrudin.

Yes Nasrudin. replied the beggar.

Do you like sitting around drinking coffee and smoking? asked Nasrudin.

Yes. replied the beggar.

And maybe amuse yourself, even, by drinking with friends? asked Nasrudin.

Yes I like all those things. replied the beggar.

Do you like sitting around drinking coffee and smoking? asked Nasrudin.

Yes. replied the beggar.

And maybe amuse yourself, even, by drinking with friends? asked Nasrudin.

Yes I like all those things. replied the beggar.

Tut, Tut, said Nasrudin, and gave him a gold piece.

A few yards farther on another beggar who had overheard the conversation begged for alms also.

Are you extravagant? asked Nasrudin.

No, Nasrudin replied second beggar.

Do you like sitting around drinking coffee and smoking? asked Nasrudin.

No. replied second beggar.

And maybe amuse yourself, even, by drinking with friends? asked Nasrudin.

No, I want to only live meagerly and to pray. replied the second beggar.

Whereupon Nasrudin gave him a small copper coin.

But why, wailed second beggar, do you give me, an economical and

pious man, a penny, when you give that extravagant fellow a gold

piece? Ah my friend, replied Nasrudin, his needs are greater than

yours.

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