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Another poem by me Another poem by me

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  #1  
Old Friday, July 15, 2016
zahida noor's Avatar
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Default Another poem by me
Me azal se khali mitti hoon.
kia tum meri zaat bano gy?
man dharti k is sehra me.
junoo ki tm barsat bano gy?
Jal thal krna hai ankho ko..
kaho kia inki aas bano gy?
hasti Apni har Chuka hun?
mil k meri maat saho gy?
baten sari bhool gya hun,
kia meri awaz bano gy?
Me azal se khali mitti hu..
kia tum meri zaat bano gy?
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  #2  
Old Friday, July 15, 2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zahida noor View Post
Me azal se khali mitti hoon.
kia tum meri zaat bano gy?
man dharti k is sehra me.
junoo ki tm barsat bano gy?
Jal thal krna hai ankho ko..
kaho kia inki aas bano gy?
hasti Apni har Chuka hun?
mil k meri maat saho gy?
baten sari bhool gya hun,
kia meri awaz bano gy?
Me azal se khali mitti hu..
kia tum meri zaat bano gy?
good attempt. keep it up
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  #3  
Old Friday, July 15, 2016
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Loved it,
Specially the main lines/verses. I'm not a poetry fan but I like this

Me azal se khali mitti hoon.
kia tum meri zaat bano gy?
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♥ Alis volat propriis ♥
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  #4  
Old Sunday, July 17, 2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zahida noor View Post
Jal thal krna hai ankho ko..
kaho kia inki aas bano gy?
Jal thal kerne kleay aas banna zaroori nai hota balken ye 2 opposite khayalat lagtay hain, jahan tk main samjha.

Any way, nice poetry, pyara takhayul hy, keep it up.
Also pay some attention to the evils of this society, ye bhi 1 section hy poetry ka. I am dead sure, you can do it.
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  #5  
Old Thursday, September 22, 2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zahida noor View Post
Me azal se khali mitti hoon.
kia tum meri zaat bano gy?
man dharti k is sehra me.
junoo ki tm barsat bano gy?
Jal thal krna hai ankho ko..
kaho kia inki aas bano gy?
hasti Apni har Chuka hun?
mil k meri maat saho gy?
baten sari bhool gya hun,
kia meri awaz bano gy?
Me azal se khali mitti hu..
kia tum meri zaat bano gy?
Great poem

" Wa tu izzu man tasha,,, Wa tu zillo man tasha "
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  #6  
Old Thursday, September 22, 2016
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very nice try.
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