Thread: English Essay
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Old Sunday, April 02, 2017
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kosam zahra 222 View Post
Being a CSS 2018 aspirant I am writing a paragraph. Plz kindly evaluate my writing style. so that i can know my shortcomings.


War on terror and USA


" United states of America, having one of the strong, well equipped, well trained military forces is combating a war on terror with few ideologically driven religious extremists. That sounds ironic, but it actually is happening in this modern world.

This all started, when America was imposing itself as a all alone superpower, but USSR (united state of soviet Russia) was determined to give america a tough time by emerging as a competitor ( militarily, globally and financially). USSR was continuously expanding its borders and ultimately it reached and conquered Afghanistan. Instead of fighting directly with USSR, Americans chose Afghanistan as battle ground where it was decided, who actually is the world leader USA or USSR."

Its a short passage, so plz pay attention on writing style, your feedback would be very valuable for me.

Thankyou
United states of America, having one of the strong, well equipped, well trained military forces.

you can write like this .

USA has one of the strongest and well trained military forces in the world. It is combating with the war on terror ...

sentences should be concise and well defined . by putting punctuation and conjections make sentences more complicate.
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kosam zahra 222 (Monday, April 03, 2017)