Your title, in my opinion, seems more like a conclusion or lesson which you normally draw when you read something. But I think this is not what is required of us when write a precis. We are supposed to suggest a title which sums up the 'contents of the passage' irrespective of our own opinions, experiences or beliefs. So I think the focus should be on the contents of the passage, and we should not draw any conclusion nor should we argue in favor or against the writer's thoughts. Just condense the writer's thoughts, that's all.

This is purely my understanding about precis writing. Senior members would be in better position to comment.