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Old Sunday, September 16, 2018
Marwa Aman Marwa Aman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GanXTeR View Post
well your outline is food enough to pass the paper.

however, some discrepancies are found.

1. sub -heaeing under introduction not an impressive thing. the points discusswd had to be made separate heading like definition, origin/history, comparison with west etc

2. defi ition given by abraham lincoln should have been included in the outline. your outline was not giving proper understanding of the word democracy as it is govt of the people but was not discussed.

3. features and charachteriatics of democracy were reuiqres to be added in the outline to built the proper outline.

4. history of failed democracy in pak was wrong heading and you were not supposed to declare as failed democratic state. the point of hiatory of democracy in pak in terms of form of govt was better option as since inception this point is under discussion. in 1956 1962 and 1973 forms were keot changing, dictator wanted presdential system and political parties supported parliamentay system of govt which is core point of the statement.

5. democracy in islam should have been elaborated being islamic state and with refrence to religion of state etc

6. heading regarding u.n was good addition but it had to be discussed after hopes/sugggestion by linking it.

7. outline did not diaclose any hint about public opinion, timely election, smooth transfer of power etc which are necessary for survival of democrqcy in pak.

8. hopes and suggestion are inter-linked therefore seperate points were not needed and required to be enlisted under hopes. though you could make one point of these,two headings.

many other aspects are missing or did not properly organizes/structured.

analysis is givenfor your next attempts if any bad luck occurs.


allah apko kamyab karay ...!!!

Thankyou Ganxter for evaluating my essay outline.The mistakes you pointed are noted. I would try to avoid them in the upcoming PMS exam InshaAllah.
Moreover, I would like to mention here that I had mentioned A.Lincoln's famous definition of democracy but in the third line of introductory para. Secondly, I had explain the concept of Islamic democracy by quoting some examples from caliphate. Thirdly, the article 21 of universal declaration had been linked with hopes of future democracy. Fourthly, I mentioned the characteristic of democracy in a single sentence some where in introduction.
I know I made mistakes but still I am hoping for best. Let's see ... Result waisy bhi qareeb hai Jo bhi hoga achy k ly hoga.
Thankyou again.
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