Quote:
Originally Posted by Saba Arif
My suggestions:
1- I think following sentence is wrong and not in context of original paragraph.
" But, instead of getting any advantage,".
In original paragraph at no place it is written that humans are not getting any advantage of machines. Paragraph is about not proper use of machines.
Instead you can write " But, instead of getting desired advantages,".
2- Word like "instruments" or any replacement of it, is not used in original paragraph. So don't use "instruments".
Instead you can write,"managing them properly"
3- Don't use word "tools". Always focus and write keyword that is "machines". Keyword should not be replaced by any other word
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Thanks for your analysis.
but i have used instruments and tools to symbolize machines as we have to avoid repetition. If you happen to go through any passage of English, you will have seen many synonyms for single word. For example, we use words like poor governance, crisis of governance and some others witin the same passage. But, they convey the same sense as that of the actual topic on governance. You can give your more opinions on this. Plus, kindly check my precis on the previous page