Dear brother i have read ur paragraph with an eagle eye. dear u only portary one aspect of economics system. (Only military of United States). And exclude all other major system such as socio-ecomics system, effective performance of institution n etc. dear u should paint impact on their subjects. Moreover, dear u can nt illustrates an example of U.S. Due to economics crisis this year U.S has axed about 700,000 jobs. And wars have lead US in to a disastrous economics crisis. Dear i aim is only to correct u. That if u employ these facts in ur paragraph i may looks obsecure. Another flaw in ur paragraph is the repetition of same words. pls try to avoid this repetition. over all ur paragraph is quite gud.
Pls correct me if i am wrong.
regards
second veiw 786.