Avoid complex and compound sentences.
Write shorter and meaningful sentences.
Write the number portion in descending order.
Instead of writing "Required words", write 1/3rd words or something similar.
Avoid repeating words of passage. "formal, ideological
Avoid reusing the passage's sentence structure/syntax/punctuation
Title is ok. But 95%+ candidates will write something similar.
Just passing marks for this attempt.
Keep practising
Consult this thread too
http://www.cssforum.com.pk/css-compu...-evaluate.html
Also when solving old papers, write "cssforum precis 2013" etc in google search bar to discover old threads where seniors have participated in.