Kindly, evaluate my attempt.

Original passage

If today I have a quarrel with another man, I do not get beaten merely because I am physically weaker and he can knock me down. I go to law, and the law will decide as fairly as it can between the two of us. Thus in disputes between man and man right has taken the place of might. Moreover, the law protects me from robbery and violence. Nobody may come and break into my house, steal my goods or run off with my children. Of course, there there are burglars but they are very rare and the law punishes them whenever it catches them.

It is difficult for us to realise how much this safety means. Without safety those higher activities of mankind which make up Civilization could not go on. The inventor could not invent, the scientists find out or the artists make beautiful things. Hence order and safety although they are not themselves civilization are things without which civilization would be impossible. They are necessary to our Civilization as the air we breathe is to us and we have grown so much close to them that we do not notice them any more than we notice the air. (201 words)

Precis
The law provided a sense of security by protecting the lives and belongings of the people. Without this perception, constructive activities would be ceased, collapsing a civilization. It could punish criminals and settle mutual conflicts as per merit. Hence, bringing order and security in the society. Both of them were of vital importance for the existence of a civilisation but still people had not fully valued them. (67 words)

Title: Significance of law