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Old Thursday, June 11, 2009
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dr.atifrana dr.atifrana is offline
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Originally Posted by aj khan
dear it was a real nice effort to write a precis, get it scanned and then post it over here anyhow after reading it few points come to mind which i think merit discussion for your , mine and all other aspirants collective benefit
first of all, AOA,
and thanks for critically examining my precis.
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1) title really doesnt make any sense, it needs improvement, compare it with Adil's simpe but lucid title
I think this title looks suitable
"One day man will be able to cope with diseases, harsh weather conditions and to eliminate the menace of war" .

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2) why to break the precis into paragraphs, this is one of the reason you crossed the max word limit
So its mean , a precis is composed of only one paragraph.

3) i dont think these spellings are correct "" studdies ""

yep, you are right, it should be studies
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4) "" extreme weather causes sadness in mood and unwillingness to work "" where this message was conveyed in the original passage
It is written in the nineth line.May be, it needs some modification.

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5) "" Advancing medical sciences is...."" i think, advancing medical science is , could have been a safe sentence
sir I think here I am right
look here
http://search.conduit.com/Results.as...ctid=CT1392740
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6) "' may be , in future , generations to come find.... "" i think , may be , in future , generations to come will find......."" could have been a safe sentence
Sir present tense some times denotes future.May be youy are right.
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7) "" to change the whole world in to one government..."" why not to write INTO in place of in to


yep, I agree
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and lastly adil's overall expression in precis should serve as an example to be followed
yes he wrote a very good precis .
@Adil Memon
Where are you sir.waiting for your comments.

Zaheer, wait for the csps response.

regards
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