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Originally Posted by aj khan
dear it was a real nice effort to write a precis, get it scanned and then post it over here anyhow after reading it few points come to mind which i think merit discussion for your , mine and all other aspirants collective benefit
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first of all, AOA,
and thanks for critically examining my precis.
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1) title really doesnt make any sense, it needs improvement, compare it with Adil's simpe but lucid title
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I think this title looks suitable
"One day man will be able to cope with diseases, harsh weather conditions and to eliminate the menace of war" .
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2) why to break the precis into paragraphs, this is one of the reason you crossed the max word limit
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So its mean , a precis is composed of only one paragraph.
3) i dont think these spellings are correct "" studdies ""
yep, you are right, it should be
studies
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4) "" extreme weather causes sadness in mood and unwillingness to work "" where this message was conveyed in the original passage
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It is written in the nineth line.May be, it needs some modification.
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5) "" Advancing medical sciences is...."" i think, advancing medical science is , could have been a safe sentence
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sir I think here I am right
look here
http://search.conduit.com/Results.as...ctid=CT1392740
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6) "' may be , in future , generations to come find.... "" i think , may be , in future , generations to come will find......."" could have been a safe sentence
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Sir present tense some times denotes future.May be youy are right.
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7) "" to change the whole world in to one government..."" why not to write INTO in place of in to
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yep, I agree
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and lastly adil's overall expression in precis should serve as an example to be followed
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yes he wrote a very good precis .
@Adil Memon
Where are you sir.waiting for your comments.
Zaheer, wait for the csps response.
regards