@Kawish

Good try but please try to write full words. Some comments:

1. You said "Education develops self confidence, validating its pursuit." It means that education develops self confidence as well validates the pursuit of self confidence. Is that given in original content?

2. In the next sentence you said "it makes him realistic, straight .....". Education is making "who" the realistic and straight? You could have said " Education makes one realistic .....". By the way what you mean by the word "straight"? Please avoid using this word as it makes little sense in that sentence.

Hope you wont mind as I am much frank in criticism.

Regards