Quote:
Originally Posted by Saleeqa Batool
I attemted "Dialouge is the only course to combatt terrorisam.My outlines are reproduced below
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Saleeqa I have choosen your outline for detailed analysis for this specific topic owing to the fact that its most relevant. Here I am adding my opinion about your essay. In my perception you have attempted Essay in a very good manner and have discussed the topic comprehensively.
I am coloring your mistakes in Blue to make it prominent and will make additions in the same colour.
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1. Introduction
Dialogue indispensable to curb terrorism
Current scenario with reference to USA and Afghanistan
Significance of dialogue- Facilitate to figure out real cause
- Lead to the peaceful solution
- Halt terrorist activities
- Remove sympathies of public for terrorists
- Example: Achievement of Pak-Army behind apparent failure in Swat Operation
2. Why dialogue is significant to curb corruption?- Current wave of terrorism is Ideological war
- Terrorists commitment to their cause
- Anti-western sentiments amongst common men
- Tribal Norms
- Terrorist assert themselves as freedom fighter
- Availability of finance to the terrorists
3. Does invitation for dialogues amounts to surrender before unjust demands of terrorists?
4. Scope of dialogue must include
- Establishment of peace
- Distinction between different motives of terrorists
- Empowerment of locals
5. Dialogues must be accompanied with other measures- Social development of violent region
- End of discrimination against Muslims
- Promotion of interfaith harmony
6. Conclusion
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A relevant quote is:
Wanton killing of innocent civilians is terrorism, not a war against terrorism. War against terrorism can tabled through dialogues only. Noam Chomsky
It can be used in introduction.
With these little changes your essay outline take its best shape. It can also be attempted with 200 words about different examples from history where dialogues have led to the peaceful solution. Such as Meesaq-e-Madina.
I hope you had written essay with effective language and grammar.
Best of luck for your Essay
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SAHIILSHAH
Dialogue is the best course to combat terrorism.
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Sahil plz dont take my opinion offensive and try to grasp what I want to convey. Here goes my analysis of the outline you have made.
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I am highlighting your mistakes in slate gray.
My Outline was.
Introduction
Current Submits. its highly vague term having no connection to the topic. I am really sorry to say that it gives the impression that you havent understood the topic and having no mastery of language as the word submit convery no meaning.
1.London Submit {Resulted in capture of Mullah Baradar} Sahil I couldnt understand what you mean when connecting London Submit to the resolution of terrorism menace. London Summit was having economic agenda that in no way associated to the importance of dialogue for combating terrorism.
2.Pakistan and Iran Dialogue {Resulted in capture of Abdul Malik Rigi JUndullah Leader} When, how and what kind of dialogues?
3.Karazai and Holbrooke Dialogue Calling Taliban as lost brethren, (resulted in the declination of violence graph)
4.Iran And Afghanistan Dialogue (resulted in decline of North alliance activities)
5.USA And Taliban Dialogue(Back channel diplomacy Quetta Shurrah and
resulted in creation of sects in taliban)
Why Dialogue is best?
Socio-Economic benefits of Dialogue
You have directly plunged to the poverty, unemployment and other peripheral issues rather discussing core issues associated to the terrorism such as Law and order, Peace and security as Pakistan is spending lavish budget on law & order and Peace & security that restrict effective usage of budget like in the field of education and employment generation.
1.Attention towards poverty(root cause of terrorism, cannot be controlled by
combat fighting).
2.Reduction in Unemployment.
3.Imparting correct "Religious thinking",(hence reducing terrorism).
4.Brain drain problem solution.
5.impart thinking that war on terrorism is not against ISLAM.
Political benefits.
1. Can Ensure thrive of democracy.
2. Answer people grievances.
3. Lessening "collateral Damage"
Combat terrorism versus Dialogue in current world
Conclusion.
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Well to me your essay outline needs relevance. You actually have distracted the topic and taken it to peripheries rather concentrating core issues. Still best of luck.
I just want to make you clear about the outline. You may have justified well in the description of essay but the skimming of your outline dont make to give it a reading.
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Originally Posted by irshadsod
Dear you have started your essay with very powerful and impressive ideas in Current Submits. Really mind-blowing. This was the beauty of your essay. I don't know why you could not maintain same fervor and appealing approach in the rest of your essay. You know, when one goes through your initial ideas one's expectation level rises to the peak and assumes that you will be rocking in the rest of the essay in the same potential but afterward curve seems downward sloping.
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Irshad I have seen your comments on Saleeqa's outline. It seems quite analytical and reasonable. I have commented on same outline in my previous post and you may go through it.
But when I came across your this comment it was a surprise. Do you really think that he has written well by discussing
current submits? Irshad being senior member its our responsiblity to show both sides of the coin to the beholder. If we are not giving true opinion we not only losing our worth and integrity but also failing to fulfill our responsibility. We shall guide the aspirants objectively, impartially and honestly.
Please dont feel offended I have shared what I felt after going through your comments.
Quote:
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Example: Achievement of Pak-Army behind apparent failure in Swat Operation
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please correct it like this
Achievement of Pak -army behind apparent faliure of dailogue in SAWT.