Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss_Naqvi
Saleeqa I have choosen your outline for detailed analysis for this specific topic owing to the fact that its most relevant. Here I am adding my opinion about your essay. In my perception you have attempted Essay in a very good manner and have discussed the topic comprehensively.
I am coloring your mistakes in Blue to make it prominent and will make additions in the same colour.
A relevant quote is:
Wanton killing of innocent civilians is terrorism, not a war against terrorism. War against terrorism can tabled through dialogues only. Noam Chomsky
It can be used in introduction.
With these little changes your essay outline take its best shape. It can also be attempted with 200 words about different examples from history where dialogues have led to the peaceful solution. Such as Meesaq-e-Madina.
I hope you had written essay with effective language and grammar.
Best of luck for your Essay
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Sahil plz dont take my opinion offensive and try to grasp what I want to convey. Here goes my analysis of the outline you have made.
Well to me your essay outline needs relevance. You actually have distracted the topic and taken it to peripheries rather concentrating core issues. Still best of luck.
I just want to make you clear about the outline. You may have justified well in the description of essay but the skimming of your outline dont make to give it a reading.
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Irshad I have seen your comments on Saleeqa's outline. It seems quite analytical and reasonable. I have commented on same outline in my previous post and you may go through it.
But when I came across your this comment it was a surprise. Do you really think that he has written well by discussing current submits? Irshad being senior member its our responsiblity to show both sides of the coin to the beholder. If we are not giving true opinion we not only losing our worth and integrity but also failing to fulfill our responsibility. We shall guide the aspirants objectively, impartially and honestly.
Please dont feel offended I have shared what I felt after going through your comments.
please correct it like this
Achievement of Pak -army behind apparent faliure of dailogue in SAWT.
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Thanks madam for correcting my mistakes,
Lets me take it from here
Dialogue is the
best way to
combat terrorism.
Have i highlighted the key points right????
now tell me if you go to a shopping and a shopkeeper says madam this dress is
best how he gonna prove it?????
the answer is simply by comparing with the any one available.. Am i right?
are you with me????
Now what do we have is arms doing combat business of terrorism.
Current submits that i have discussed shows the fact that after 9 years of brutal fight and mass pogroms, how is west now trying to combat terrorism?
Answer is it is through "Dialogue".
Again sorry to say am i right?
thats the reason i have discussed the submits.
again
London submit was no just a submit or
"talks for the sake of talks".
it meant real business and the business was to combat terrorism through Dialogue and proved prolific.
and what we have heard then was capture of
MUllah baader. his capture was not a ripen fruit that was simply plucked from the tree. the London submit rouse to the ocassion and the business for which it was meant was answered. "thats what the world politics game is , needs a little acumen
". I am sure you are able to comprehend it now.
Now i have discussed the current world politics how they are taking down the "chimera" of terrorism. I had to move to the fact that the Dialogue is best because it can counter the other
Socio-Political causes Like
poverty (
next 25th march 2010 our President is going to seek help to eradicate the menace of poverty which is adding fuel to the already ailing situation of combat fighting against terrorism, Read Sunday Dawn 14th March 2010 for further updates) as well, which Arms fighting hitherto, failed to do so.
because, poverty and unemployment will continue to neutralize all our efforts to combat terrorism. an "empty Belly" knows no ethical or immoral activities, the only thing it is conversant with is mead.
Similarly
illiteracy, will also hinder any of our step to counter the ever green issue of terrorism. because illiterate youth remains exposed to be exploited by the extremists. and also bias religious knowledge do the same job, similarly Ideological fight can only be root out by the superior idea, remember an idea can not be crushed, a best it can be hindered for a moment but it will not root out the idea rather it will incite the fence sitter to start joining, again porous boundaries , a real cause of terrorists activities, can only be counter by Dialogue and mutual understanding of the countries and people-to-people contact.
And for all of the above the History offers us example.
I think you have got my ideas now. I Believe. they were not that hard.
Does the arm fight can do the same job?
Yes or no? Answer is yours.
Usama bin ladin might be dead or dying of laughter. Because we failed to grasp the "Topic" in the paper and as well as in the real world also.We should read the history carefully,not the history that we would like it to be, but the history it is.
Again thanks for criticism.
Any more Question me here
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And once more i remembered i never used word
submit i replaced it with
dialogue.
..rest of the outline remains the same.