View Single Post
  #6  
Old Wednesday, September 08, 2010
rishzzz's Avatar
rishzzz rishzzz is offline
PMS - S&GAD
Qualifier: Awarded to those Members who cleared css written examination - Issue reason: Css 2010 - Roll no 5865PMS / PCS Award: Serving PMS / PCS (BS 17) officers are eligible only. - Issue reason: 2011 - Merit No. 43
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Lahore
Posts: 742
Thanks: 434
Thanked 752 Times in 448 Posts
rishzzz is just really nicerishzzz is just really nicerishzzz is just really nicerishzzz is just really nicerishzzz is just really nice
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Riaz Ahmed Alizai View Post
please comment,,,,,,i will appreciate adages and corrections+guidance.
Regards,

If winter comes, can a spring be far behind!
Anne Lamott has exquisitely said "Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: You don't give up."Hope is the brainchild of dissolution and melancholy is furthered by seeming consistency of tragic moments,which are joined like beads and have their own impact upon different turns of life.Winter is often depicted as the season of sadness,loneliness and lackadaisical events.Where faces lose their charm,leaves leave their guaranteers, shores keep the embracing waves away from their warmth bosoms.When sun sprays its light in the teeth of offending and pinching cold waves.When flowers conceal their smiles,and when butterflies plug their wings.It is the winter which silences the chirping birds,who arrange their intrinsic feelings upon seeing their colorful surroundings,and vent their natural desires in presence of the softest touch of pitying winds.Their ecstasy for summer effaces the sorrows left back by the hammering winter.Incoming and whispering waves of summer rejuvenates the natural deathsIt is ambigous, does it make sense?.It refills greenery inside the trees,squeezes distances of wretched souls. Jubilation,high spirits and merriment becomes the order of the day and talk of the town. Frogs jerk their slumbering heads and birds reshuffle their throats for expressing their love for summer.Their hopes are died against the hopes of revival.Lingering aspirations make them feel the approaching calmness and ravishing moments.Both the seasons are harbingers of one another.One tests the strengths and plays with weaknesses and the other adds meanings to the stunning beauties and embellishes natural layouts.
Well ur selection of words is always worth appreciatiion. The way you put art and nature in your creativites indicate that you're a Literature student, cz its nrealy impossible for an engineer, doc or MBA guy to put such an expression

Now coming to above expansion. You work on punctuation, ur weak in it and 2ndly a mistake n above expansion was that you continued with the single tone.
u didnt provide any ups and downs of your expression, you caught a tone and then kept on it like you started expressing nature and then went on with it.
If same tone is experienced somewhere, it gives more edge of Paraphrase then expansion.
Rest of the expression,grammar and the overall material was SPOT ON!!!!

Regards
__________________
“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.”
Reply With Quote