over use of Vocabulary. If you want to write in competetion examination you will learn from good teachers that use of vocablary is good but excess of vocabulary is not accepted.and it can also bring the selection of wrong word for a situation into play.first write it in a bit simpler English then ask for further comments.

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Shabdon mein kya tareef karoon aap ki MUSSAA
Aap shabdon mein kahan bandh payenge.
Kabhi mere aankhon mein jhaank kar dekho,
Hazaron alfaz khud-b-khud bikhar jayenge.