Brother, first of all it is a very nice effort indeed mashallah.
but here are a few of my observations:
1- First of all: it is always good to add some style to your essay or some color/taste to it. So after the outline, the first para could serve that purpose. In this case, for example, you could write that "unfortunately due to the current unrest in the world on the whole, and particularly in the Islamic Countries, a common misperception exists that Islam breed violence and terror." You build a nice paragraph about this particular aspect of the essay. and say that your effort is directed towards explaining the real situation for instance.
2- The second para, consider it the introduction to the subject para. now there are two words/terms that need to be explained in the beginning. Islam & Peace. As we all know, it is very easy to correlate them, because means Peace. So you explain the meaning of Islam. So the examiner will have a clear idea what to find in the rest of the essay.
**Another para followed by this one, should explain why we need Peace: for our culture, society, etc etc.
3- this can be followed by a few paras, where you give references from Quran then followed by Ahadis, then the life of our Prophet (SAW) and his Companions (RA).
4- Obviously in this essay you need to tell why this perception exists. Give references to Kashmir, Palestine, and Chechniyan issues and try to explain the difference between their activities and the terrorism (that is commonly considered an anti-peace entity these days).
5- this will lead to establish the fact that terrorism is different than other movements.
i hope you understood what i mean to say!