Originally Posted by wahab_ahqar

(Topic sentence should consist of a single sentence briefing the gist of expansion) We(Try to use third person in lieu of first person; Man) have so many luxuries and necessities of life available to us today; all these have been discovered or invented by humans(in short,all the valuable luxuries and necessities of life are discovered or invented by man). Had the man not strived hard to explore the secrets of the nature, it(he)(MAN=he not it) wouldn’t have reached its(his) current state. Everything given to us(given to us or made aviaable to us both words conveys the same meaning. do not repeat the things) and made available to us by nature is a gift from Almighty Allah to us. Our ancestors have transformed these gifts in more appropriate form to suit it more to the needs of the coming generation through their hard work and labour. The quality of life we are enjoying is fruit of the struggle and continuous value addition to the gifts of the nature by every former generation to the following generation. Fast means of communication, better means of transportation, better medical facilities and all the technological development in every field of life (we) witness (today is) fruit of the hard work. In reality, we(man) even cannot get benefit from most of the gifts of nature without hard work(constant labor; avoid repeatation of the words); man (are) dig(s)ging(do not use present continous tense but presnt simple) deep into the earth to unveil the treasures it contains in the forms of the minerals and(not and but ,) exploring space to better understand and solve the mysteries of the universe. Besides it(don't say it.Rathar, besides only is enough), if we closely observe history of developed nations, we come to the conclusion that they have earned the place in the list of the developed nations by dint of their hard work. Besides(can be written as:in addition to the fact) the fact, majority of the Muslim countries are(is) rich in natural resources but there is hardly any country on this list of developed nations. On the other hand, Japan not a very rich country in natural resources, even after defeat in Second World War is the third largest economy of the world. They preferred work over leisure and abolished weekly holiday in their country.