Please clarify your misconception from the point number one, before reading the discussion that must follow.
1. Allah Almighty has permitted polygamy, not ordered. ITS NOT A COMPULSION OR COMMANDMENT!
Therefore, the practice of polygamy is purely one's own choice remaining in compliance with the limitations set by Islam.
Below is the origin, complete history of polygamy & its socio-economic implications.
The Background
Verse 4:3 (quoted in the post above) was revealed to Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him in Madina after he migrated to it from Mecca and established an Islamic state there right after the battle of Uhud in which the Muslims not only had lost badly against the Pagans, but also suffered a dramatic decrease in the number of Muslim men. The Muslim men before that battle were approximately 700. They became only 400 after the battle. This loss had left so many Muslim women (1) Widows, and (2) Not able to get married if they were single.
To make matters even worse, the Muslims had faced yet another battle against the Pagans in Mecca and its neighboring tribes who wanted to attack the Muslims in Madina to finish off Islam once and for all, and by the Jews and the Christians in Madina who betrayed the Muslims in the "battle of Trench" after signing a defense treaty with Muhammad peace be upon him against the Pagans.
All praise due to Allah Almighty. With Allah's Will and Mercy, the Muslims had miraculously won the battle against the Pagans of Mecca and drove them back to where they came from, and then attacked the Jews and the Christians who betrayed the defense treaty and kicked those hypocrites out of Madina forever!
These continuous battles against the Muslims were very costly in terms of Muslim men's lives. The women had to be taken care of one way or another. For this reason, Allah Almighty had revealed the Noble Verse 4:3 to Muhammad peace be upon him to solve the social problems that the Muslims were facing. That is why at the very beginning of the Noble Verse 4:3 we see Allah Almighty setting a conditional clause for Orphans "If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans...(4:3)." This Noble Verse came down for the purpose of protecting the Orphans and to increase the number of the Muslims by allowing the men to marry multiple wives (preferably from the grown Orphans at that time), up to four wives only. The purpose was absolutely not for man's sexual pleasure nor privilege, nor was it to support man's personal ego. It was revealed to solve a major social problem to prevent major sins such as illegal sex and prostitution.
Why Men Practice Polygamy?
Numerous reasons why men engage in polygamy can be cited. For example:
*There were frequent wars between tribes and nations. These wars resulted in an excess of females over males, as many men were killed in battle. In order to accommodate the excess number of women to men, polygamy was a remedy.
*Polygamy helped in the rehabilitation of widows and orphans and other women that were left without supporters or husbands, resulting from war.
*Polygamy was said to heal the wounded heart of a woman whose husband was killed in battle.
*Polygamy was practiced to ensure an increase in the birthrate. It was necessary for every individual member of a tribe to try to increase the numbers in the tribe to which it belonged.
*Polygamy was the solution for women that were helpless and destitute. A polygamous marriage provided those women with a means of livelihood and protection.
*It was considered a chivalrous act to marry as many women as a man could support.
*It was considered a huge indignity on a family and the entire tribe, if a female remained unmarried or married below her social status. Eligible girls of marriageable age had many offers of marriage. Parents competed with each other in providing enticement in the form of jewelry and property as dower.
*Polygamy was a solution in some cases in which a wife was chronically ill, incapacitated, or unable to bear children.
THE NEED FOR POLYGAMY IS NOT OBSOLETE
*There are still wars that leave women widowed.
*There are still single women that cannot find husbands.
*For many women, marriage is their dream. It doesn’t matter whether she is a physician, educator, or a lawyer; it does not matter what her position may be. Regardless of how much she excels in her work, for a woman (not all women, of course) her subconscious aim is that of having a family of her own shared by a good man that is the father of her children.
*There still are married women that are reproductively challenged (barren).
*The Quran was written for all men, for all times. Polygamy is permissible in Islam. That permission was given by Allah (Great and Glorious is He). However, it must be reiterated that
Permission does not employ the meaning of
Order.
Some Food for thought
What shall we do when the balance is upset and the number of women becomes many times more than men? Shall we deprive women of the blessing of marriage and motherhood; and thus let her walk the way of whoredom and vice, as it happened in Europe owing to the increase in number among women after the 2nd World War? Or shall we solve this problem by noble ways that preserve the woman's honour, the family's purity and the wholeness of society? Which is more honourable and more ethical, that woman should be bound with a holy bond in which she joins another woman under the shelter of a man in a legal, noble manner (i.e Islamic way)? or that we should let her become a mistress or a girlfriend of that man, the relationship between them then being sinful and evil (i.e Un-Islamic way)?