there are waiters and suprvisors to keep eye on you...and after serving you they always discssed you in front of other people which create a bad image....ii experinced these things in my department where CSP officers(on deputation) and Army officers are with us.when i was appointed in my current organization,we had given a book let and lectures for Mess Etiquettes some points are given below
Recommended Dos
A.Always be dressed in a shirt and a trouser,preferably closed collar when coming to the Ante/TV/dining room in the mess.Track suits are are not supposed to be worn at common places inside the mess.Chappals and peshawari chapplas are also forbidden
B.Shave before attending a formal dinner or when invited out for dinner
C.Observe the table manners
D.Brush your teeth before attending a formal dinner
E.say please and thank you when you need something or when some dish is passed on to you
F. Control your helping especially on formal occasions
G.Before turning on the TV,ask the senior member present,Whether he has any objection.He will seldom object but it is a little act of courtesy.
H.if the Tv is already tuned on a channel by an officer,before changing to a new channel he should be asked if he has if he has any objection
i. fold the newspaper neatly after you have gone through it and place it on the central table or whereever it is is supposed to be
j A lady must not be discussed in the mess
k when guests are present do not leave the mess untill they have gone
Recommended Dont's
a, Dont treat the mess staff as your personal servants.They are human beings and srve you day and night.they need to be handled softly and encouraged.you will feel the difference youself
b.Don't belch.this is height of bad manners.if you have to ,due to some upst,then do it silently without making uncouth noises.
c.Dont crew your nails at the table.
d.Dont play with your nose.if something is upsetting you then use a handkerchief discreetly.
e.never remove your shoes while in the ante-room or dinning room even if going for namaz in hurry.
f.never remove your shoes and climb onto a chair or sofa even if there is no one around.
Sitting at the Dining table
a.Dont sprawl in the chair
b.while rapproaching the dining chair,pull it back and sit from the left.while leaving,push back the chair gently and move out from the right.push the chair back into place after you have gotten up.this drill will facilitate all the members at the dining table.
c.dont sit too rigidly
d.dont sit with elbows sticking in the neighbour ribs.sit upright,relaxed,natural
e.avoid putting your elbows on the table.
f.hands remain in the lap when not in use.dont make gesture with the hand on table.whilst getting up use one hand for assistence and not both.
g.save all discussion of the cost of food for another time
h.dont mention details for illness.
i.A differnec of opinion,if kept at an amiable level,makes conversation spirited,but the table is not a place for quarrels,sulks,monologues,lectures etc
j.do not dunk toasts ,bread,biscuits etc in liquid while eating.
k. if any foreign matter is observed in food,do not announce it.discreetly stop eating if the meal is informal,,ask for a new serving.
l.Dont make noises when you are eating food.
m.dont talk with food in mouth.if a question has been put to you when you have food in mouth,then finish your food,sip water,if so desired and then talk.your neibour will undrestand and will wait for answer
o.dont strech for food,ask you neighbour to pass.
p.dont use the napkin in palce of your handkerchief
q.dont be glutton
s.during the meals,keep an eye on the others and if necessary speed up your eating to avpid holding up everone else.