how the passion for Foreign Service helped me!!!

Diplomacy is defined as the specified protocol of respectful communication and negotiations among the representatives of states or political parties to reach a certain agreement in a non-confronting manner .Considering the gravity of the role of a diplomat, every state takes utmost care in training diplomats to a superior skillful level to safeguards its strategic and tactical interests. The foreign relations of a state, along with other factors, also depend upon the propensity of the respective diplomat to negotiate, persuade and implement the patriotic interests. The concept of diplomacy can be extended to a much broader sense when the conventional boundaries of the usage of the term diplomat or ambassador are traversed.
The term diplomacy always remained a point of revulsion for me. Even in the paper of Current Affairs of CSS-2010, I gave the statement
“I consider diplomacy as hypocrisy where the crux of the matter is never addressed; rather beating about the bushes is performed”
But of course it was my lack of understanding to give such a reckless statement which was the actually the refection of my inner perplexity between transparency and diplomacy. And predominantly, I didn’t know why and how to

1. shield my person, caste or ethnicity
2. To comprehend my eminence.
3. To consider myself to weight a specific value
4. To confront a specified remark cogently.

When I felt myself abortive to concede the significance of the values cited above, this made my personality into a virtual public pleaser, a person not adroit to say NO. This motto when got further deterioration, transformed me into a man of mysterious and inexplicable entity, a point of exasperation for myself and colleagues around me. I didn’t empathize the problem with me; I used to think , write, express and search a lot to find how can I acquire the essence of influence .It uses to hurt me when I compare bravery and courage standards required to get influential to mine crabby nature, roughly speaking to increase new increments of paradoxes.

After a huge struggle, One day, while searching the Title Social Influence on Wikipedia, I reached upon the topic termed as Low and High Self Esteem. Moved by its opening sentence,

“It is through High Self Esteem that we achieve high goals in our lives”

Felt a ray of hope that finally my quandary seems to be identified which was associated with me since vague period of time. I went on to read it further and finally approached on the distinctiveness of a man with low self esteem. All the symptoms of a low self esteem nature were proving true all in all in me, like

1. Heavy Self criticism
2. Self aspiration of performing 100 % right and unable to bear any mistake.
3. Hyper sensitivity to criticism,
4. Extreme level of transparency.
5. Considering myself to be inferior to every one

I never knew that saying NO is that much imperative, not withstanding to which can damage the integrity of the person to this level. But there was a happy point for it was easily curable but required objective orientated practice and focus. Then I goggled the topic for further reading and got a lot of related useful stuff available on other sites with recommendations and steps to recuperate the lost Self Esteem. The most central line that attracted me the most
“You are neither inferior nor superior to any one around you, though certain attributes makes the difference”
was the classic sentence that shrank me throughout, realizing of blunder of feeling sense of inferiority. The statement was allowed to be standardized and analyzed thoroughly with the intention to execute as soon as possible. I found a huge divergence in me within next One hour!!! The unnecessary fear, that used to prove a great obstruction in my communication and relationships, was diminished and dwindled. It was a happy outcome irrefutably.

Much more precious analysis was made, when the term diplomat was extended to encompass the daily life communication and interactions. Considering oneself as a diplomat means a feeling of representation of a certain class, ideology, geography and ethnicity. This makes a person cautious in one’s conversation thereby to talk

1. Responsibly and logically,
2. Will say NO or negate a comment of the opponent if certain boundaries are crossed.
3. Will define the limits of his patience.
4. Will not allow other person to make use of his innocence and sincerity.
5. Will make people to respect him for his own respect of his creed and culture.

The point can be explained easily through the help of examples.

o A person in some Job work is a representative of his family and educational back ground, his culture and ethnicity, his religion and geography.
o Every person abroad his native land is a diplomat.
o At the root level, every man is an ambassador of his inner self.

When a person assumes his role, the five features that are explained above, are automatically induced in his nature which make him to perform and behave in a sensible manner.
From this day onwards, I am etching my mind to espouse a diplomatic way of communication, after being wretched up of my superfluous transparency.

Jibran Khan Durrani,

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Influentials of history have made me realized that they always had flexible principles to others and strict to themselves.