MISTAKES IN THE OUTLINE
·
Problems Faced By Pakistan AtThe Time Of Inception (Since the time of inception)
· Target killing ko TERRORISM likhdo.
· Lack Of Tourism (use proper phrase here, promoting something like that
· To Curb Corruption At All Levels (This is cliché, everyone knows, suggest here ur own thought)

IN THE ESSAY
· responsibility of the country (of the state)
· clothing. When these needs (yaha per ek Comma n AND (, and ) likh kar clothing and when ko connect kardo) fluency banni rahegi.
· they bring about problems (yaha per THEY ko cut karo aur phrase lagaho, for example when these essential needs are not provided bla bla bla ) ahee samaj?
· Bar bar THESE PROBLEMS THESE PROBLEMS.. repeat na kar Roshan sahb.
· negative impact on society (THE SOCIETY)
· The society deprived of basic necessities of life is ignorant of its obligations towards the country (The society, deprived of basic necessities of life, is ignorant of its obligations towards the country) coma mistake
· MNCs business (MNC ko pahlay full form mey likho, later on MNC likhtey raho. Multi Natinal Companies)
· tumbling stock market and inflation. (Stock tau chalo tumbling kar raha hai per inflation tau nai. Inflation k liye adjective use kar warna idea wrong) E.g. Tumbling Stock market and shooting up inflation.
· a lot social (a lot of )
· . Quaid-e-Azam (write with a title) The founder, the creator etc.
· Owing to his sudden death he could not eradicate (owing to his sudden death, he could) comma mistake.
· , leaders after him did not pay (the leaders)
· Pakistan is a developing country and faces all social problems that developing countries face along with political instability that aggravates the problems further. (sentence structure is incorrect) Correction: Pakistan is a developing country and faces all social problems that developing countries face along with political instability, which aggravates the problems further.
· 70 per cent of the population of Pakistan live (lives)
· . According to an analysis (according to a report, per kis institution ki? Write the name State bank, IMF?)
· . With limited resources it is very difficult to cater to (With limited resources, it is very difficult to cater to) comma error
· be hazardous for the economy (more hazardous)
· negative impact on society. (the society)
· use of drugs, crime. (and crime)
· also instills a (can u use here easier vocab than INSTILL?)
· Three per cent of its GDP on health and education (3% say kam hai , I guess its 2.5%)
· . Pakistan still struggles between the secular British and religious Arabic laws and traditions (still struggling is better )
· such as Shia vs. Sunni (better to write DIFFERENCES BETWEEN SUNNI AND SHIA)
· in Pakistan after the Islamic Revolution in Iran in 1979 is proving ( Irani revolution, actually, not the cause. It was Zia’s despotism that sowed the seeds of sectarianism and handed over guns to the students instead of books)
· Owing to poor governance, the government is losing control over law and order situation.
· migrate to relatively safer (relatively use kia tua SAFE is likho)
· and use them in whatever they want (use them in their sinister designs KESE rahega?)
· we have lost many foreign (‘we have’ ki jagga the country likho)
· Owing to fragile economy, FDI is shrinking on account of terrorism and political instability (‘Owing to’ phir ‘on account’) ambiguity hai yaha.
· brought many a tourist from all over the (incorrect: many a )
· free and quick justice be ensured by (BE k sath must or should likho. Yeah methods sirf headings mey use hota hai)

Overall remarks
· Nice write up
· Repetition of words should be controlled
· Coherency is fine.

Best of luck

__________________
Try not to become a man of success but a man of value.