Wednesday, October 31, 2012
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Lahore
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Quote:
Originally Posted by noomee
Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime
This proverb shows general experience of this world. Tension, tortures,tragedies, hungerness e.t.c are the signs of poverty. This proverb was told by Aristolle. (Arrange these sentences in order, they lack coherence and unity. )
When this poverty remains in limits, then it is all right, but when it crosses its limit, then it finally shakes the soul of people, it revolutionzes and causes crime. Due to poverty, rebellions and crimes are produced. A poor man can do each and every crime and revolutionary activity, because he has nothing to loss. No man comes here in this world rebellious or criminal, but these are only conditions which make him criminal and most important factor of them is poverty.
There are various causes of poverty, which give birth to revolution and crime. A poor man takes gun for bread and butter for his family, for marriage of his sister and daughter or due o extremist behaviour of people. Mostly the crimes committed in Pakistan are due to poverty. You might have heared that 2500 years ago a revolution came in Rome and its main cause was poverty. At that time few people were rich and mostly there were poor people and slaves. So poor people were ill-treated and disgraced in every field of life, their women were sold, raped and tortured. But suddenly walls of poverty were broken, then all poor people brought revolution. So hence poverty is considered as father of revolution and crime. As Gandhi says and I qoute ]" To man with an empty stomach is God", because a man can do each and every thing for acquiring food. Mostly poverty occurs due to bad policies of rulers. If politicians and rulers do not take care of poverty line, then certainely it will lead to production of crimes and revolution, in which politicians and rulers, would themselves be perished.
So from above discussion it is clear that poverty is the main cause of revolution and crime. Due to poverty, a man can do each and every thing in this world for his survival, because he would be at the last stage of his life and at that time, he has to do or die. Then either he will die himself or will kill so many other people.
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Dear, these are good efforts. What I feel you have not arranged your thoughts in order. I find no coherence and unity. You had good examples and quotations you could have arranged them well. Avoid redundancy of ideas and vocabulary.
You many sentences looked like that you had copied them from somewhere.
Look at post of Nataasha, she has arranged it well.
I would say you, present your thoughts with coherence and unity. Try to make simple sentences.
Regards,
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