Honesty is a best policy

First.....It is my own analysis

OPENING SENTENCE SHOULD BE CATCHY. It is a true and universal reality that honesty is the best policy. Dishonest people can not be a honest because he is not honest with himself(DISHONEST PEOPLE SO YOU SHOULD USE ‘THEY’ INSTEAD OF ‘HE’ AS YOU ARE REFERRING TO PEOPLE- PLURAL. THIS SENTENCE IS VERY UNIMPRESSIVE) If a person who does not to be honest that means he has not firm belief upon Allah (WRONG). He can HURT NOT HURTS his friends, lover, and family members any time. In this regard there is a famous story. Once upon A TIME, an axe man who used to go in jungle for his labour work in order to fulfi the basic needs of his little family i.e. food, clothes and shelter. However, in jungle he lost his an axe and became very sad and cried for it. Because he was honest and true man. (NEVER START A SENTENCE WITH BECAUSE) Suddenly, an angel in dress of a man came and gave him an axe which was made of gold. The angel said him 'o young man I got it along the riverside. It is yours you may get it" but the axe man was very honest he looked at axe and told him that it was not his because his axe was old. Right after that, THE angel went and brought the axe which was of the axe man. The axe man got his axe and thanked God. Therefore, it is a lesson for us. That we must be honest. If we get any thing unfairly we must not to accept it because honesty is the best policy. (NOT A MATURE EXAMPLE, SEEMS LIKE YOU ARE NARRATING A STORY TO A KINDERGARTEN STUDENT). ALSO ADD AT LEAST ONE QUOTATION.


Second.....I had listen this story in my school

It is A universal truth that honesty is the best policy. If a person who is not honest that means is not honest with himself (WRONG). Today people are killing another people because of wealth (HOW IS THIS RELEVANT TO THE TOPIC). The fellow friends who are considered the dearest, some times (SOMETIMES IS ONE WORD) they hurt us by doing unfair. Because they are not honest with us. And it is a bitter truth. Beside this, a severe circumstances takes place and a honest person becomes dishonest (WRONG). The reason can be her lack of belief in Allah and himself ( IN ONE SENTENCE YOU HAVE USED BOTH HER AND HIMSELF FOR THE SAME PERSON). Today people are being killed, women are being hurt, innocent are being guilty unfairly(WRONG) . The person who does these sorts of things IS not afraid of God. Because he does not have the value of honesty (FRAGMENT) . If a person DOES bad deedS in this world, HE never be skipped form God (WRONG) . Finally he will have to be punished by Almighty Allah. Therefore, It is, quite simple and clear that a person do better for others he will get good results, will be awarded heaven (WRONG) . So everybody has to be honest with THEMSELVES AND to others. So that he can earn the right rewards which are mentioned in Quran and Hadith. Thus, it is certainly true that honesty is the best policy.
WRONG USE OF COMMAS
THIS IS NOT AN ISLAMIYAT EXAM, SO TALK TO ABOUT THINGS TOO APART FROM RELIGION.
GIVE QUOTATIONS AND EXAMPLES
NEVER START A SENTENCE WITH A CONJUNCTION.
INCORRECT USE OF ‘THE’
BE CAREFUL WHEN USING PRONOUNS.
YOU ENGLISH ISNT CORRECT AND YOU NEED TO PROOF READ YOUR EXPANSION BEFORE WRITING THE FINAL DRAFT.