Originally Posted by shakeel ghori

Your effort to attempt the same essay again for correcting your mistakes which you have committed in the previous one shows your determination and firm will to improve your shortcomings and to make yourself a skillful writer. I appreciate you. You have improved a lot in your this attempt. Your outline is relevant and precise. This time, introduction is well-made and coherent. No apparent mistakes of grammar. However, there is always some room for improvement. I have made a fragile attempt to point out those things which are mistakes in my view. I firmly believe that if you keep up doing work with the same spirit, you will achieve what you are striving for.