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Originally Posted by shakeel ghori
This is my attempt. Members are requested to assess it.
Democracy; Democracy in Pakistan.
Outline
1-Introduction.
a,most effective form of government.
b,ensures peoples' freedom and welfare.
2-Other types of government.
a, Dictatorship/authoritarian government.
b, Monarchy
c, Aristocracy.
d, Plutocracy.
e, Anarchy/militant regime.
3-Elements and advantages of democracy.
a, based on will of people.
b, ensures public participation in state's affairs.
c, requirement for Good governance.
d, Secures human fundamental rights.
e, promotes peace and order in society.
f, Makes working of institutions free, fair and efficient.
4-Democracy in Pakistan
a, flawed democracy. ( flawed is rather harsh word...won't it be better to use Questionable Democracy ?)
b, Peoples' need are not being fulfilled.
c, Representatives are not accountable for their misconduct ( You can simply write "Lack of Accountability" )
5-Causes of failure of democracy.
a, Feudalism and family politics.
b, Illiteracy.
c, Corruption and nepotism. (don,t you think family politics and nepotism are the same?? )
d, Lack of accountability. ( don,t you think point 4c and this are the same? )
e, Ethnic and sectarian disturbances.
f, Institutional clashes.
g, Lack of political consensus.
h, Military interventions
I, External factors
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some more points...
Horse trading
Lack of leadership
Rigging in the elections
Terrorism ( a big factor)
Hostile neighbors
6-Future of democracy in Pakistan.
a, Political awareness is increasing.
b, Institutions are getting independence and efficiency.
c, Media is performing
( discharging) its duty.
d, We are progressing towards true democracy.
7-Suggestions/remedies.
a, Public relations be strengthened.
b, National integration and political consensus is inevitable.
c, Accountability of government be ensured.
d, There is a need of protecting fundamental human rights.
8-Conclusion.
Quote:
Introduction
Human's long journey from cave to the age of computer has enabled them to understand the difference between democracy and other forms of government. By now, they are convinced that most effective system of government is democratic. However, democracy must not be understood in the form where an overwhelming majority can compel the state authority to accept their demands howsoever immoral; even the legalization of same sex marriages. Rather, it is a negation of all tyrannical systems of ruling the masses.( I could not understand the meaning of this sentence...) The concept of police state has disappeared in which government had only to protect the citizens from external aggression. Now state has to engage itself into all such activities as are necessary for the welfare of people. The democratic government is but the will of people. It strives to fulfill the aspirations and needs of people. As a matter of fact, the democracy in Pakistan is not in its true shape. It's flawed.( If I am not wrong this is your thesis statement. If yes, then the words flawed is a little harsh. Would you mind writing it as: " Unfortunately, the democracy in Pakistan is not up to the mark." A deep and impartial analysis of the circumstances proves it beyond doubt that we are lacking the true democratic principles. Peoples' needs are seldom being met. And the most important determinant of democracy which is accountability of rulers is also absent. Sadly, There are many causes behind this sorry state of affairs. Feudalism, illiteracy, corruption, lack of accountability, ethnic and sectarian disturbances, institutional instabilities, political bickering and frequent military interventions are some of the most conspicuous reasons which are impeding the effective working of democracy. However, we are moving towards a real democratic set-up. And the signs of this has begun to appear. People are getting awareness about politics and their fundamental rights. The institutions are becoming more effective in their functioning. Media is vocal. Judiciary is doing (discharging) its duty. (or doing its job effectively). These changes, which are the result of a long and unflinching struggle show that we are progressing towards a true democratic order. If some worthy and sincere steps are taken, there is every possibility that we will be able to acquire a true democratic system of government.
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Your attempt, views, points are appealing, but one thing I would like to add here is that keep in your mind that in the examination hall we usually have very short time, so we should outline those points which are very very important because sometimes we could not give due time to the important points due to the lengthy outline. Apart from these things, you did a wonderful job...